Category Archives: Family

Disability, Domestic Engineer, Exercise, Faith, Family, Health, Hobbies, Running, Writing

Brain Dump – Winter Edition

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You guys. I’m neglecting this blog. I do apologize. I’ve been hiding. Hibernating a little. But still active! Just not feeling the urge to broadcast my life. I’m still making the super slow shift from “over-sharer” to “intentional storyteller”. Finding where I want to hold boundaries with my writing and the sharing of it with others.

Part of this hesitation with writing is that I am becoming more aware of the reasons I do things. Why do I write? Why do I blog? I’ve been blogging off and on for over 20 years, and I think for the majority of those years it was just to clear my head, share funny thoughts as they came. It was a great way to add some whimsy to my dull life working in offices and crunching numbers. It was FUN.

Until it wasn’t. When I became disabled in 2013, I considered dropping it altogether. Through a series of events and gentle Holy Spirit nudges, I felt called back to it. To share what I was going through as I adjusted to a new life. So I picked it back up and stayed with it happily until 2020, when the sh** hit the fan, as they say. My long term disability insurance representative had combed through my blog, my medical records, and notes from our phone calls, then twisted all my words and used them against me to cancel my monthly benefits.

I fought to regain those benefits and eventually won, but it took over a year. I was cautioned by my attorney to be careful what I put on social media, if anything at all. It was some time before I felt safe enough to return here, and I’m still a little gun-shy about everything I post.

All of that to say, I *want* to be here. I want to post updates on my life. I want to encourage others to never give up when life knocks you down. I’m just not super awesome at the consistency of it. But I’m working on it. I haven’t forgotten you!

So here’s a running update: I haven’t been doing any running because it’s cold and icy outside and I refuse to run in the basement on the treadmill. It’s depressing, okay? However, I’ve been keeping up with small daily exercises, thanks to an online group that helps keep me accountable. I have a 10k race I’m signed up for in mid-March, so I intend on picking back up with running after the holidays.

A Writing Update: I’ve been working a lot on my memoir, again. This time it feels like it’s actually going somewhere. I went down the rabbit hole of memoir training for a while there, but I did eventually land on a method that works for me and am excited to feel like I’m making real progress. Now that I have a structure and a plan, my intention going forward is to write 500 words per day. Yesterday was my first day and I wrote twice that amount, but I don’t expect that to be the norm. I almost finished a whole chapter and that was pretty exciting. I have a note above my desk that reminds me *not* to edit while writing, because I can’t be creative and critical at the same time. I joined a writing group that meets every weekday on Zoom, and I enjoy having that time and space to focus solely on the manuscript. I’ve only been going once a week so far, but if things slow down on the homefront I may try to join more often.

Other than that, I’m just blissfully busy with my husband and kids. Taking care of the home, preparing meals, keeping us all healthy. Super mundane stuff that we all take for granted, but that I am grateful to be able to do. What are you grateful for these days?

Books, Family, Writing

Memoir Progress

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Yes, I’m still working on writing a memoir. I’ve been fuzzy on the subject of it for years, as I’ve picked it up and put it back down again – over and over and over. This time feels different, however, because I’m using a system designed by a memoir coach I have been following for awhile. I was in an online writing group awhile back and someone in the group told me about Wendy Dale, who offers free online tutorials for memoir writers. I’ve soaked up the info she offers in her YouTube videos, and have always loved her simplistic yet effective advice. Well, this year she published a book, The Memoir Engineering System, which easily spells it out for you with step by step instructions! Perfect for my type A, over-analytic writer’s heart. I’m loving it. It’s a basic how-to. So I’m following the steps and feeling like I’m actually making progress toward a finished product. The current step I’m working through has me reading through a bunch of old journals, which is kind of interesting. Not the most fun, but I think it’s what I have to do to come up with her “chronology of chapters” step. The every day events you forget about as time continues to pass. I’m only working on this project an hour a day, so it’s slow going, but at least it’s going. Forward motion.

Our son is graduating from high school Sunday so if I’m not a total emotional mess, I’ll be posting soon about that, and also some recaps/reviews of the books I’ve finished reading recently. Trying to keep a healthy balance around here. Mostly succeeding. Chow, folks. Have a beautiful day!

Family, Food, Photos, Stories

I made a pizza!

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You guys, I’m so proud of myself. Tonight I made a pizza from scratch. I know that doesn’t sound like a huge deal but for me it kind of is because I’ve been intimidated by any recipe involving yeast and historically have avoided having to touch flour. Cuz flour has always given me the heebie jeebies. Until the spring of 2020, when I had a miraculous moment on the shore of Lake Superior when I stepped into the sand and immediately said, to my utter shock, “this feels nice!” Ever since, sand and flour and sugar no longer bother me.

But back to the pizza. Nothing special, I put ham and onion on half and extra cheese on the other. It could use work, more sauce next time for sure, but the FamSquad agreed it was good and they would eat it again. I was surprised at how easy and inexpensive it was to make and will be sure to add it to our meal rotation. Next to tacos, pizza is my favorite food, so I’m definitely excited that I can whip one up easily whenever I’m craving it!

Look at this, isn’t it pretty?!

My first 100% homemade pizza
Family, Food, Kids, Photos

Milestones (and sweets)

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My son turned 18 on Saturday. Our firstborn, our baby boy. This kid. Not a kid anymore. He’s dressed up in this photo because Saturday was also the night of his senior prom. I got a teensy bit emotional as we watched him drive off to meet his friends. The end of an era, as they say. I wanted to do something really special for his birthday. Traditionally I’ll make a cheesecake because he LOVES cheesecake. But, I had a recipe for copycat Crumbl chocolate chip cookies that I had been wanting to try, so I threw that in as an extra. I spent all day Friday baking, which wore me out of course, but it was worth it. The cookies were an instant hit. The cheesecake had to wait to be enjoyed, so we didn’t dig into that until Sunday, after his official birthday dinner (a family tradition). At the time of this writing, it has been less than 24 hours since we cut into that cake, and it’s almost gone! And here I was worried we wouldn’t eat it all before it went bad.

Copycat Crumbl Cookies – chocolate chip
My world famous cheesecake
Extra creamy, and perfect crust

This age, 18, is a strange one. He vacillates between moments of maturity and goofing off. One minute he’s reviewing his work schedule, and almost in the next breath he’s making jokes about cheesecake for breakfast. I both love and hate that he hasn’t grown up too much yet. I think he feels ready to leave the nest, and I’m sure he’ll do great when he does, but I’m thankful that I still have a little more time yet. Four more days of high school, a quick summer, and then he’ll be off to college.

Happy birthday, Luke. Mom and Dad are so proud of you.

Bible Study Fellowship, Books, Coffee, Daily Snippets, Disability, Exercise, Faith, Family, Friends, Writing

Long and Rambling, perhaps

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Oh my word, friends. I joined a challenge to do 100 push ups every day in the month of May. My sister does these challenges with a Facebook group and they have always fascinated and tempted me, but this one grabbed me because she said you could do modified versions, and you could space them out in any increment, so I thought what the hell, let’s give it a shot! I have always had super weak arms and would love to get stronger so this is proving to be good motivation. We are eight days in and I have come to love the countertop pushup. It seems to be the perfect level of challenge for me. I can’t do the 100 all at once, but even in this short number of days, my endurance is already improving.

Today I decided to head back to the gym for some elliptical time and a full body circuit workout. The bonus? A hydromassage to finish it off. The hydromassage beds at Planet Fitness are 10 minutes of pure relaxation. My muscles are thanking me.

A short walk down the street and I’m parked at the coffee shop enjoying a large Americano. I was feeling so sluggish all morning and I think it was the lack of caffeine. I really had to push through that workout at the gym. It ain’t easy folks, but it’s worth it.

The interesting thing about this morning was that I was feeling really tired, but not fatigued. It was your classic – not enough sleep, not enough caffeine, wanna go back to bed – tired. I was feeling sluggish and borderline grumpy. It was refreshing in a weird way, to feel something like “normal”. Like how I used to feel sometimes on Monday mornings, heading into the office to work. A lifetime ago.

You could say I’m still working on accepting the loss of that life. It comes in bits and pieces. I am so grateful for where I am and how God has blessed me through disability. I am able to spend days like today at the coffee shop while my husband goes to work. But there are still parts of that life I long for. I’ll always long for independence. It’s just that these days it’s a muted longing, and I’m not nearly as angry about it as I used to be.

My desire to write more is coming back. A long time ago I was introduced to a memoir coach, Wendy Dale. She does paid coaching, but she also offers free coaching on YouTube videos. I had watched all the videos and was impressed with her knowledge. She was somehow able to deliver all this info in a simple and straightforward way. I was intrigued, and thought I was going to really get going at writing more, but life sort of pushed it to the side. I was more focused on my family and running than writing. And if I’m honest, that’s probably still true. Our son, our firstborn, is graduating from high school any minute now and will be off to college in the fall. You can imagine the mental load. Also, I’m working to get back into running, because I took too big of a break over the winter and my health and energy levels took that hit pretty hard. But back to Wendy. She recently published a book, “The Memoir Engineering System”, so of course I had to read it. It was all this lovely knowledge of hers, all compiled in one place. I purchased the Kindle version and devoured it in a few short days. It will be my guide book for when I am actually ready to write that book, but for now it’s all just rolling around in my head. You guys, I have so much rolling around in my head, you have no idea. Well, you have some idea because I like to ramble on here on the blog. I mean, that’s kinda what it’s here for. To help me declutter my mind. You’re welcome.

What else? I’m still reading a lot. Watching a lot of Criminal Minds reruns. Just finished up another year of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). We studied the book of Revelation this year. In my 40 years as a Christ follower I had never read Revelation so I was a little apprehensive about it. It went well though. I had a great discussion group. Very diverse, and as my friend Cynthia noted at Share Day yesterday, full of alpha women. It was terrific. I don’t know how it is at other locations, but our BSF here in my city does a very good job at running this program. It’s always a safe space. Some days the passages we are reading are really difficult, and I have always loved that questions are welcomed and encouraged. We don’t always walk away with the answers – almost never, to be honest – but we walk away with a broader perspective and insight. I’ll miss my BSF ladies over the summer but I look forward to seeing them again in the fall!

I think that’s the bulk of my rambling updates, for now. My coffee needs my attention. Have a beautiful day, my friends.

Family, Food, Friends

It was a forking Feast!

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I’m getting ready to go back to bed for a nap but wanted to hop on here real quick to humble brag about a meal I made last weekend. I had bought a pork tenderloin on sale – mostly because it was such a good sale and I couldn’t pass that up. We don’t eat a lot of pork around here because I have never been able to cook it well, so it’s usually dry and tasteless. I have *never* made pork tenderloin so it was completely foreign to me. However, I saw this sale while preparing my grocery order online and did a quick search for what to do with a pork tenderloin, found an easy and tempting recipe for a spice rub, and went ahead and bought the meat.

I also had a bunch of russet potatoes I had leftover from Easter. I had ordered a 5 pound bag, they were out of stock so they gave me a 10 pound bag. I had commented that I didn’t know what I was going to do with all those potatoes. This led to a discussion with my mother-in-law about all the wonderful things you can do with potatoes – au gratin, scalloped, cheesy, etc. – and that conversation was still rolling around in my head a week later.

This is when I had the bright idea to make a Sunday feast for my family. Pork tenderloin with au gratin potatoes. I was so excited! I would prepare the potatoes early so all I would need to do is put them in the oven. I would take my sweet time preparing the tenderloin, trimming the fat and applying the spice rub. It was going to be great.

“But so much food, Mel. So much. And you have picky eaters, they may not like pork and potatoes. Maybe you should invite a friend or two to join you, to help you eat this feast.”

And that is exactly what I did. I invited a few friends over, friends who were safe and kind people who would not mind if the pork and potatoes were terrible and we ended up resorting to frozen burritos instead. But you know what happened? It turned out amazing. Yep. It smelled so good in my house I wished I could have taken a picture, but since that was obviously not possible I was thrilled there were people on their way over to smell it for themselves. And we had a wonderful time. It was informal and relaxed and everyone ate and enjoyed themselves – even my family of picky eaters.

Y’all, I have always had such a low view of myself in this area, of cooking and hosting, this day was a major confidence booster for sure. It was a memorable day and I’m so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. I’ve always marveled at others who get such joy out of feeding other people and now I feel like I’m starting to “get” it. It makes me more eager to keep trying, and I look forward to more feasts. What should I make next?

Family, Friends, Photos, Punky

Punky’s Best Day

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Punky soaking in the sun
Punky is ready for some baseball!

Our younger dog, Punky, a 3 year old golden retriever, was lucky enough to attend her very first baseball game yesterday! Our town hosts a minor league baseball team, and they allow dogs at the games once a week or so. Normally dog days are on a weekday, but this time it was a Saturday and we were able to snag some free tickets. Hurray! It was still a tad chilly for the game, because Michigan is really confused about the calendar, but we dressed for it and had no issues with it. We weren’t sure how she would do at this event, because at home she is scared of almost literally everything that moves or has the potential to move. However, she did great. She loved meeting other dogs, but her favorite part was laying at our feet in the stands. It was a great day for baseball, and a great day spent with family and friends, even the furry ones. Hands down would do it again.

Domestic Engineer, Family, Food, Stories

Converting Thoughts

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Many years ago I had an epiphany about laundry. All the time, laundry. It always needed to be done and I used to grumble under my breath how much “I hate doing laundry”. And then one day I decided to stop saying that, and to replace it with, “I enjoy having my clothes folded and placed where they belong.” Every time I started to hear myself say I hate to do laundry, I would stop myself and replace it with why I liked it when it was done. I’m sure this bright idea did not just appear out of nowhere, it was probably from a podcast or a book. But it doesn’t matter, wherever it came from, it stuck with me.

Fast forward all these years later and I still have negative statements that need replacing. Cooking, for example. I have always said I hate cooking. I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible cook. But when I think more on it, none of that is really true. I may resemble Amelia Bedelia in the kitchen sometimes, but for the most part I can follow directions and make a decent dish. And I don’t really hate it. I just don’t like being rushed to put meals on the table. So over time, I’ve started trying to look at this differently. I do as much prep work ahead of time so that I don’t have to feel rushed putting a meal together. I take shortcuts when I can (although this is where my inner Amelia Bedelia shows herself). I’m growing more realistic about my energy levels and what I’m capable of doing, and I avoid those tasks that are not for me. And best of all? I thoroughly enjoy eating. Like, way more than I love having my clothes folded and put away. Food is awesome. And when I pull off a delicious dish? That’s just the best reward.

Converting these negative messages into positive ones has been a really slow process but I like what I’m left with. There’s a lot less tension in my shoulders and in my spirit and I sleep well at night. I *think* I’m less irritable around my family and quicker to let things roll off my back. I have courage to try new things, and my family – bless their hearts – are super gracious about it as long as I don’t throw too many new things at them at once.

Last week I had defrosted a bunch of chicken breasts and I divided it up to make stir fry but had two breasts left over so I found a recipe online – with a video! – showing me how easy it was to just season it, bake it, then slice it up to use in salads. So I did it, and it was so delicious I couldn’t believe I had made it. It felt silly but I was proud of myself. Anytime I can make something from scratch I feel like a boss. *Pats self on the back.*

Baking has always been easy for me. Cooking, not so much. Cooking has always been a bit intimidating but the more I succeed at new things the easier it gets. If I keep this up and get really good at it, they won’t just be saying at my funeral, “she made a really delicious cheesecake.” One can hope, anyway!

So I’m working on changing the way I think about my daily tasks, and I really think it’s helping. Waking up with a feeling of dread and overwhelm used to be a daily thing. It’s happening less and less these days. I’m starting to wake up and look at the day as an opportunity with wide open potential. What can I make today? What are the most important things that need to be done? How badly do I want that laundry put away? If it’s bothering me, I do something about it. Otherwise, I let it go.

Take the laundry for instance. No really, take the laundry! Just kidding, I’ll get to it this weekend. It’s been sitting long enough.

Cochlear implant, Exercise, Family, Food, Health, Kids, Photos, Running, Stories

Goals, and a bit of honesty

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So. For the month of March I had attempted to go without sugar. The processed stuff of course; I did not abstain from eating fruit. Girl needs her fiber, you know? I made it 3 weeks, and here’s why. It really didn’t seem to make that big of a difference! I had been warned that I would go through a brief period of withdrawal, headaches, mood swings, etc. I had none of that. I expected to lose some weight. That didn’t happen either. My conclusion? Maybe I don’t really eat that much sugar. So after 3 weeks of this mild deprivation, I gave up the experiment. And again, nothing really changed. The only thing I really learned is to be more aware of what foods contain added sugars and how much. And I will continue to try and avoid those things as much as possible, but I don’t think I’ll go completely cold turkey again. I love donuts too much.

My new goal, for the month of April, is to complete some sort of exercise every single day. I’m 5 days in, and I’ve only missed one day, but I got right back on track the next day. This missed day was Friday. I just couldn’t will myself to do anything, I was so tired. However, upon reflection I realized the reason I was so tired was because on Thursday I went for a run during the day, and that night I went swing dancing and then to karaoke. So couple a late night with two forms of exercise, and I think I earned that pass for Friday. It’s my game, so I’m going to allow it. Moving on.

Today I ran two miles to the convenience store to buy myself a belated birthday donut (my birthday was in March, the no sugar month, which in hindsight was not very well thought out). While on the way I decided I would also buy donuts for my kids and then just walk the 2 miles back. I did not feel like running while holding a bag of donuts. So I completed 4 miles, half running, half walking. Decent workout. My legs will thank me tomorrow. And the kids were pleasantly surprised about the treats.

So, I need to be real honest here. I went most of the winter without much running. I didn’t do much strength training either. However, I have been slowly starting to get back to the gym for strength training, and I occasionally get out there for a run. Michigan has really been struggling to let spring in, because even when the temps are reasonable, the wind brings them right back down. One, I don’t like wind because my cochlear implants make it extremely loud and that’s just annoying. Two, it’s cold man!! Running helps my body warm up in most places, but my face and fingers and toes still end up chilled to the bone and it just makes me grumpy. It does not make for enjoyable running. Of course, I’m still grateful to be able to run but I seem to remember having more joy with it, and I can’t seem to find that yet. I need a race on my calendar to get excited about. I’m working on it. All my runs have been short, 2-3 miles, and that doesn’t really get me out of my neighborhood. I want to be free! I want to explore the trails! Get me away from the road, I want to run by some people walking their adorable dogs! I’m reminiscing my marathon training days, and longing for that feeling again. Not that I have plans to run another marathon anytime soon. A half, maybe. We’ll see. I definitely want to do more 5ks and 10ks, but only if they involve fun swag. I’ll never win these races, and I can run at home for free, so good swag is a must for me.

So yeah, goals. Limiting sugar and exercising regularly are two things I’ve really been working at to keep myself as healthy as possible. It’s what I’ve gotta do to fight disease progression, and I think it’s going pretty well. Most days I feel pretty good. I still tire super quickly and take a long time to recover, but at least I’m having those moments where I’m able to be more present with the people I love. These are good things. While I’ll never say I’m thankful to have M.S., I’m always grateful for what I’ve learned from the challenges it throws at me every day.

Daily Snippets, Domestic Engineer, Family, Food, Kids, Marriage

Daily Post #10 – December 14, 2024

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Number ten! How about that? I think at this point we’ll just see how long I can keep it up.

Today is Saturday, so I was able to sleep in, which was wonderful. I did some reading and studying in the morning and then my husband and I headed out to get lunch and head to his mom’s house to help her with some technical issues. He is an only child and he does an amazing job helping both his mom and his dad with various tasks. I hope we get that lucky when our kids are grown. We had a great time visiting with her, and Mike was able to get her all squared away.

When we arrived home I made a ham and cheese fritatta for dinner. My daughter doesn’t like eggs, potatoes, or cheese, so she declined to eat with us, and my son wanted frozen burritos, so he was on his own to make those. I hadn’t made a fritatta in ages so I used a recipe to be sure I had the ratios right, but I messed it up a little. I had a hard time reading the steps in the recipe and put the cheese in too early, so I just added more at the end. It was a tad crispy but we both liked it, and I’ve dubbed the new creation, Melly Fritatta. No pictures, it was hideous. Hideous, yet tasty, and I’m looking forward to eating the leftovers tomorrow.

It’s common knowledge around here that I’m not much of a cook, so I was happy to make something that landed well at least with the adults. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be able to please my teenagers with my cooking. If you know, you know.

And that was pretty much my day. Next week I have holiday treat making to do, as well as finishing up the gift wrapping. It should be a lot more chill than this week was, and I hope I don’t regret saying that, because it may jinx it. We’ll see how it goes!