Many years ago I had an epiphany about laundry. All the time, laundry. It always needed to be done and I used to grumble under my breath how much “I hate doing laundry”. And then one day I decided to stop saying that, and to replace it with, “I enjoy having my clothes folded and placed where they belong.” Every time I started to hear myself say I hate to do laundry, I would stop myself and replace it with why I liked it when it was done. I’m sure this bright idea did not just appear out of nowhere, it was probably from a podcast or a book. But it doesn’t matter, wherever it came from, it stuck with me.
Fast forward all these years later and I still have negative statements that need replacing. Cooking, for example. I have always said I hate cooking. I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible cook. But when I think more on it, none of that is really true. I may resemble Amelia Bedelia in the kitchen sometimes, but for the most part I can follow directions and make a decent dish. And I don’t really hate it. I just don’t like being rushed to put meals on the table. So over time, I’ve started trying to look at this differently. I do as much prep work ahead of time so that I don’t have to feel rushed putting a meal together. I take shortcuts when I can (although this is where my inner Amelia Bedelia shows herself). I’m growing more realistic about my energy levels and what I’m capable of doing, and I avoid those tasks that are not for me. And best of all? I thoroughly enjoy eating. Like, way more than I love having my clothes folded and put away. Food is awesome. And when I pull off a delicious dish? That’s just the best reward.
Converting these negative messages into positive ones has been a really slow process but I like what I’m left with. There’s a lot less tension in my shoulders and in my spirit and I sleep well at night. I *think* I’m less irritable around my family and quicker to let things roll off my back. I have courage to try new things, and my family – bless their hearts – are super gracious about it as long as I don’t throw too many new things at them at once.
Last week I had defrosted a bunch of chicken breasts and I divided it up to make stir fry but had two breasts left over so I found a recipe online – with a video! – showing me how easy it was to just season it, bake it, then slice it up to use in salads. So I did it, and it was so delicious I couldn’t believe I had made it. It felt silly but I was proud of myself. Anytime I can make something from scratch I feel like a boss. *Pats self on the back.*
Baking has always been easy for me. Cooking, not so much. Cooking has always been a bit intimidating but the more I succeed at new things the easier it gets. If I keep this up and get really good at it, they won’t just be saying at my funeral, “she made a really delicious cheesecake.” One can hope, anyway!
So I’m working on changing the way I think about my daily tasks, and I really think it’s helping. Waking up with a feeling of dread and overwhelm used to be a daily thing. It’s happening less and less these days. I’m starting to wake up and look at the day as an opportunity with wide open potential. What can I make today? What are the most important things that need to be done? How badly do I want that laundry put away? If it’s bothering me, I do something about it. Otherwise, I let it go.
Take the laundry for instance. No really, take the laundry! Just kidding, I’ll get to it this weekend. It’s been sitting long enough.
Category Archives: Family
Goals, and a bit of honesty
So. For the month of March I had attempted to go without sugar. The processed stuff of course; I did not abstain from eating fruit. Girl needs her fiber, you know? I made it 3 weeks, and here’s why. It really didn’t seem to make that big of a difference! I had been warned that I would go through a brief period of withdrawal, headaches, mood swings, etc. I had none of that. I expected to lose some weight. That didn’t happen either. My conclusion? Maybe I don’t really eat that much sugar. So after 3 weeks of this mild deprivation, I gave up the experiment. And again, nothing really changed. The only thing I really learned is to be more aware of what foods contain added sugars and how much. And I will continue to try and avoid those things as much as possible, but I don’t think I’ll go completely cold turkey again. I love donuts too much.
My new goal, for the month of April, is to complete some sort of exercise every single day. I’m 5 days in, and I’ve only missed one day, but I got right back on track the next day. This missed day was Friday. I just couldn’t will myself to do anything, I was so tired. However, upon reflection I realized the reason I was so tired was because on Thursday I went for a run during the day, and that night I went swing dancing and then to karaoke. So couple a late night with two forms of exercise, and I think I earned that pass for Friday. It’s my game, so I’m going to allow it. Moving on.
Today I ran two miles to the convenience store to buy myself a belated birthday donut (my birthday was in March, the no sugar month, which in hindsight was not very well thought out). While on the way I decided I would also buy donuts for my kids and then just walk the 2 miles back. I did not feel like running while holding a bag of donuts. So I completed 4 miles, half running, half walking. Decent workout. My legs will thank me tomorrow. And the kids were pleasantly surprised about the treats.
So, I need to be real honest here. I went most of the winter without much running. I didn’t do much strength training either. However, I have been slowly starting to get back to the gym for strength training, and I occasionally get out there for a run. Michigan has really been struggling to let spring in, because even when the temps are reasonable, the wind brings them right back down. One, I don’t like wind because my cochlear implants make it extremely loud and that’s just annoying. Two, it’s cold man!! Running helps my body warm up in most places, but my face and fingers and toes still end up chilled to the bone and it just makes me grumpy. It does not make for enjoyable running. Of course, I’m still grateful to be able to run but I seem to remember having more joy with it, and I can’t seem to find that yet. I need a race on my calendar to get excited about. I’m working on it. All my runs have been short, 2-3 miles, and that doesn’t really get me out of my neighborhood. I want to be free! I want to explore the trails! Get me away from the road, I want to run by some people walking their adorable dogs! I’m reminiscing my marathon training days, and longing for that feeling again. Not that I have plans to run another marathon anytime soon. A half, maybe. We’ll see. I definitely want to do more 5ks and 10ks, but only if they involve fun swag. I’ll never win these races, and I can run at home for free, so good swag is a must for me.
So yeah, goals. Limiting sugar and exercising regularly are two things I’ve really been working at to keep myself as healthy as possible. It’s what I’ve gotta do to fight disease progression, and I think it’s going pretty well. Most days I feel pretty good. I still tire super quickly and take a long time to recover, but at least I’m having those moments where I’m able to be more present with the people I love. These are good things. While I’ll never say I’m thankful to have M.S., I’m always grateful for what I’ve learned from the challenges it throws at me every day.
Daily Post #10 – December 14, 2024
Number ten! How about that? I think at this point we’ll just see how long I can keep it up.
Today is Saturday, so I was able to sleep in, which was wonderful. I did some reading and studying in the morning and then my husband and I headed out to get lunch and head to his mom’s house to help her with some technical issues. He is an only child and he does an amazing job helping both his mom and his dad with various tasks. I hope we get that lucky when our kids are grown. We had a great time visiting with her, and Mike was able to get her all squared away.
When we arrived home I made a ham and cheese fritatta for dinner. My daughter doesn’t like eggs, potatoes, or cheese, so she declined to eat with us, and my son wanted frozen burritos, so he was on his own to make those. I hadn’t made a fritatta in ages so I used a recipe to be sure I had the ratios right, but I messed it up a little. I had a hard time reading the steps in the recipe and put the cheese in too early, so I just added more at the end. It was a tad crispy but we both liked it, and I’ve dubbed the new creation, Melly Fritatta. No pictures, it was hideous. Hideous, yet tasty, and I’m looking forward to eating the leftovers tomorrow.
It’s common knowledge around here that I’m not much of a cook, so I was happy to make something that landed well at least with the adults. I’ve come to accept that I won’t be able to please my teenagers with my cooking. If you know, you know.
And that was pretty much my day. Next week I have holiday treat making to do, as well as finishing up the gift wrapping. It should be a lot more chill than this week was, and I hope I don’t regret saying that, because it may jinx it. We’ll see how it goes!
Weekly Post #9 – December 13, 2024
Tired of my daily updates yet? I am, a little, but I’m going to keep it up for awhile. Today was mostly uneventful, but we had some wins. I slept late, until 10:30, because I’m still recovering from three consecutive days of full activity. I was feeling really sore, and my legs were hurting a little from the cold weather outside, but I took a shower and that warmed me up a bit, so it relieved the pain. Nerve pain is no fun, but I’m glad that heat and movement are two things that help.
After my shower I went downstairs to make my coffee and loaded the dishwasher. If you see me going to bed with a stack of dirty dishes left in the sink, that’s a clear signal that I’m dealing with fatigue. I am really bothered by dirty dishes and will usually take care of them as soon as I can, so when I don’t there’s usually something wrong. But, I tend to have a bit more energy in the mornings, so this morning I just took care of them while my coffee brewed.
And then! Then, I started a movie on my laptop and started wrapping Christmas presents. This is not a fun project, ever, but it is one that feels great to have done. I finished after four hours, right as my daughter was coming home from school. Also this evening we finally decorated the tree that’s been sitting bare in our living room for the last 6 days. I guess this means I’m ready for Christmas. Next week I’ll wrap the last of the presents, make batches of puppy chow and roasted pecans.
With me being so busy and it being so cold outside, I haven’t done any running in a bit, but it’s not for lack of thinking about it. I’m sure once it slows down a bit I’ll get back out there. Cold weather runs are really difficult to get yourself out for, but they are always exhilarating and rewarding. Hopefully next week.
Anyway, that’s my update. I’m off to bed!
Daily Post #8 – December 12, 2024
Oh boy, you guys. My brain, my legs, my arms. They are all so tired today. I moved around and did things, but most of the work I did was sitting here at the desk. I tidied up my space a bit, because when I am surrounded by clutter I just can’t think straight. Too much nagging from the objects needing my attention.
I had planned to work on wrapping Christmas gifts today, but the kids had a snow day. That meant my early morning meeting with the school was postponed as well. Again. They had a snow day last week on the same day as my scheduled meeting. Anyway, so no wrapping got done. However! I did organize the gifts, assessed what we have, updated my spreadsheet (of course I have a spreadsheet) and even placed a couple last minute orders. One of them won’t get here in time for Christmas, but it will be close. So I’m ready to devote tomorrow to boxing and wrapping the gifts and I do hope I have the house to myself so I can accomplish that in peace.
On the subject of Christmas, you may remember last Saturday I posted about us going to get our Christmas tree? Yep, and it’s still sitting in our living room, without decoration. The dogs don’t seem to mind, but I talked to the kids and we’ve decided tomorrow will be the day to decorate, so I think I’ll make some peanut butter popcorn tomorrow so we have something yummy to snack on while we decorate. It always feels to me like a daunting task, decorating the tree, but the kids are almost fully grown adults and are super helpful, so it’s really never as bad as I expect. We will have a good time.
And that is all for today. I’m sure there was more I wanted to talk about but I am beat. I did not exactly rest the way my body needed, so I’ll be putting myself to bed once I hit post. Good night, y’all.
Daily Post #6 – December 10, 2024
As expected, I am ending the day exhausted from a productive and fun day of shopping with my sister! It started out with a quick trip to the dermatologist to follow up on my rosacea. The treatment is working well, daily ivermection applications and antibiotic treatments as needed when my skin flares up. It flared up after Thanksgiving and I’m almost positive excess sugar was the culprit, so I’ll be sure to avoid that in the future. Okay, that’s a lie, I like sugar. I’ll probably just try to keep it in moderation. It’s impossible to say no to pumpkin pie.
My sister picked me up from the dermatologist so we could get a rapid start. We started out at Five Below where I found a case and charging adaptor for my new phone, as well as some fun gifts for the kids. Then we traveled over to Costco, Target, Marshall’s, and Bath & Body Works. There was a stop in the middle for an appetizer and drinks, just to rejuvenate us for the rest of the shopping. We were holding up quite well, but our brains were needing the break. I arrived home with bags and bags of goodies for the family and I’m ready to start my Christmas wrapping. It was a great day! We have really enjoyed these times and are happy to continue the tradition each year.
That said, I’m exhausted and I still have another full day ahead so I’m praying I can maintain. This is a lot for me so I expect I’ll be dragging my Thursday and Friday. For sure, I’ll be dragging. I know I’m pushing myself beyond my normal limits and just banking on the ability to rest for a few days after. I’m just grateful to have the opportunity to have memorable moments with friends and family. Wishing you all a great night and I’ll talk to you agin tomorrow, Lord willing. Shalom!!
Daily Post #5 – December 9, 2024
I almost forgot my daily post! So, I’m sitting here at my desk, sans cochlear implants (so in the silence) and with my face 10 inches from the screen because I already took my contacts out. Basically, I’m going to make this quick. Today entailed some prayer in my living room with another mom from our school (we do this every other week but normally there are more than just the two of us), then a wonderful brunch with a friend I hadn’t seen since May. We had so much catching up to do and we’ve already planned the next meetup for next month. Then a quick stop at the lab to get my repeat blood work done. Hopefully they get it right this time. Then a stop at Starbucks for a mocha hazelnut latte – 2 pumps mocha, 4 pumps hazelnut. I took a solid nap, and then woke up to find my husband had successfully procured our new phones and service. We are now 4 for 4 an iPhone family which I am honestly not handling well at the moment. Nothing against iPhone, it’s just something new. And I am having significant trouble finding things on the phone and seeing the screens to log in to my various necessary apps, it’s just an exercise in extreme frustration. Both my kids have helped me with this, but a lot of it I need to just figure out on my own. It’s a very slow and somewhat painful process with low vision. I’m reassured by iPhone users that it will be worth the switch, so we’ll see. I hope it is.
That is all. You get one big run-on paragraph and I’m off to bed. We’ll talk again tomorrow!
Daily Post #4 – December 8, 2024
Another busy day today. I went to church in the morning. That was nice. We had our annual meeting at the start of the service, which just means the board updates the congregation on the state of the church’s finances and other administrative items. Super boring, but crucial because we are a 501(c)3 corporation. And if we were to ask the congregation to come to a meeting, they likely would not show up, so you have to catch them while they are there for the service. A captive audience. Sneaky, I know.
After church the husband and I went back to Verizon to see if we could get the new phones set up. Negative. I had to unfreeze our accounts with the credit bureau (I froze them a couple months back when there was a huge data breach), and they hadn’t updated that information with Verizon yet. It was a weekend, and the guy at Verizon said that was likely the reason. They just need a human to handle it, perhaps? We are hoping that it gets resolved tomorrow because poor daughter is itching to get a working phone back.
The third act of the day was a baby shower. My daughter and I attended, and I’m so glad she went with me because I didn’t know anyone there. Just the mom-to-be and her mother-in-law. It was a solid three hours of estrogen and I was pretty exhausted by the end of it. But, I’m happy for the new parents, and I’m glad we were able to be there.
I finished the day with mundane stuff that needed to be done. Washed dishes, folded laundry, vacuumed, that sort of thing. Took a look at my calendar for the week to make sure I have all my rides scheduled. I still have a blood test I need to get so we’ll see when I can squeeze that in. It’s the test for the JC virus that I’m required to get every six months. My monthly infusions carry a much greater risk of me getting a fatal brain disease, PML, if I test positive for the JC virus, so that’s why we do this. Only I had the test done last month, and they screwed up the order so I need to go back and try again. I’m super grateful I’ve remained JC negative after all these years on the medication (Tysabri) and am praying I continue to stay that way.
In other news, Christmas is coming. Have you heard? My kids have both issued their wish lists (at my urgent insistence) and my sister is taking me shopping this week so hopefully we can find some things on the list. I’ve already been able to do some shopping online but a lot of items are better found in stores, and that’s something I need assistance with. We started this shopping tradition a couple years ago and we had such a great time, we decided to keep doing it each year. It’s a drive for my sister to come up to where I live, but it’s a huge help to me. I’m grateful for her help in finding things and for her patience when I’m not 100% clear on what it is I’m looking for. It will be an exhausting day but productive and memorable, I’m sure.
That about sums up my day. I’m hoping to sleep decently tonight. The last couple nights I’ve been waking up with night sweats, and that’s no fun. Hormones are a hoot.
Daily Post #3 – December 7, 2024
Long and crazy day. The original plan was for the whole family to go pick out and cut down this year’s Christmas tree. And that was going to be it, a nice relaxing day.
We ended up doing a lot more than that. To start off, a friend texted first thing in the morning inviting me to join her at the gym. I said absolutely yes, since I had missed the day before and had been itching to go back. I got reacquainted with the elliptical – I hadn’t used one in over 15 years, when I was pregnant with my daughter – and learned very quickly that the elliptical is an efficient way to work out the upper leg muscles. OOF! I’ll definitely be coming back to those. Then, with jell-o legs we went over to the 30 minute circuit and got full body strength workouts in. I was so exhausted after but it felt really good to be moving my body again. And, it’s a nice change-up from running, which can get dull at times. We finished at the gym with chair massages and then went for coffee to do some real catching up. It was a fine morning.
Once home and showered, I went with Mike and the kids – and Punky! – to pick out our Christmas tree. That was a blast, as always. It’s a nice tradition we’ve kept through the years and I will miss it when it’s gone.
So with the tree procured and placed in the living room, we decided to head back out for a special mission. My daughter’s cell phone was broken and needing replacement. Since we all have had our phones awhile and are outside of the contract, we figured now we be a good time to shop for new cell phones/plans. So we spent the entire afternoon driving to various service centers, price shopping. We finally settled on one, and tried to get it all set up, but ran into a snafu so we’re hoping to get that completed in the next day or so. Oddly enough, none of us got frustrated with each other during this whole ordeal. We actually just enjoyed hanging out together. I was extremely grateful for that. And!! For a good portion of the outing my daughter drove! She just recently got her learner’s permit so she’s learning. She kind of hates it, it really stresses her out, but I think she’s doing a great job and will hate it less as she gets more practice.
All in all, it was a pretty incredible day and I’m so thankful for my friends and family, and thankful to have a warm bed to come home to. I’ll be sleeping well tonight.
Daily Post #2 – December 6, 2024
Here we are again, folks! Daily recap coming atcha…
This morning I had planned to get dropped off at the lab to get some repeat blood work done (the original test was ordered incorrectly) and then walk over to the gym (they share a parking lot). However, when I woke up with the kids my stomach was not feeling right. As I moved around the kitchen it got increasingly worse, and devolved into sharp, stabbing pains. A pain I know all too well as gas. So I knew I wasn’t going to be able to do much until that got resolved. Skipped the trip and went back to bed. Falling asleep in the fetal position did the trick, and a couple hours later I was good as new.
The middle of the day didn’t consist of much. I ate some yummy leftovers and did some reading. I’m listening to The Case Against Sugar by Gary Taubes and it’s pretty interesting. Since it’s an audiobook I find myself getting distracted pretty frequently, but mostly I’m learning that a lot of what has been researched about the dangerous effects of too much sugar in our diets has been shoved under the rug by corporately funded researchers. All the folks benefiting from the sugar industry have spent a lot of money to keep people from learning that in the large quantities we consume it, sugar is harmful.
The other book I’m reading is The Obesity Code by Dr. Jason Fung. I recently finished his other companion book, The Diabetes Code, and I kind of wish I had read them in order because a lot of what I’m learning in this one would have been useful as I muscled my way through The Diabetes Code. I am downright fascinated by the science in this book. And encouraged, because it’s debunking a lot of the closely held yet erroneous beliefs our society has about weight loss/gain. Weight loss/gain is not an exact science, nor is it a simple math equation. The answer to losing weight is not calories in/calories out. There are so many systems in our bodies that play a part in fat production and processing the calories we put into it. So we need to stop shaming people for their size. Okay? Just stop it. I got in a heated debate a few months back on social media with a guy who was griping about people using the motorized carts at the grocery store, saying they needed to leave those carts for the truly disabled. I pressed him on it, knowing I am one who is truly disabled yet doesn’t look it, and found that he was referring to the heavier people. He said they needed to just walk more. Obviously he’s never struggled with his weight.
We need to be kinder, people. Because we really don’t know what we don’t know. We have been fed lies for decades that in order to achieve or even maintain a certain size, we just need to do A, B, and C. Simple right? Except that it never works. All my friends are entering the land of menopause and haven’t changed a thing, and yet we are getting larger. Is it our fault? Of course not! Hormones, baby. They have everything to do with why our bodies hold onto fat and there is not a whole lot we can do about that. I think we’re getting closer to finding answers, but what do I know? I’m just a retired accountant who likes to read about science.
Whew! Getting off that soapbox now. I finished off my day by attending my son’s wrestling meet. I don’t usually get to go, but my husband had come home early so I was able to ride up with him. We had a great time, Luke wrestled his heart out, and then we came home. Saturday we are hoping to go get a Christmas tree, so I look forward to updating you again tomorrow night!
Little M.S. Runner 