Category Archives: Miracles do happen

Deep thoughts, Family, God speaks, Holidays, Kids, Memories, Miracles do happen

The light in the darkness

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It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re all ready for Christmas morning with the kids. Breakfast fixings are ready in the fridge, gifts are surrounding the tree.
We went to church tonight and were reminded that Jesus came to be a light in the darkness. Then we drove around looking at Christmas lights, a tradition we’ve been doing since before the kids were even born.
And do you know, my 9 year old son made the connection between the sermon at church (which I thought he was sleeping through) and the decorative lights everyone puts up at Christmas? I don’t know for certain the origin of Christmas lights, but I think my son might be on to something. The lights we put up at Christmas are a representation, a reminder, that Jesus is the light in the darkness. That just blew my mind, to hear something so wise coming from his mouth. I was pretty impressed. And for sure, I will remember that connection and from now on our annual tradition of driving around looking at lights will hold much greater meaning for me.
Merry Christmas, and may you find the light in the darkness.
Daily Snippets, Deafness, Disability, Funny story, Grown-up Stuff, Health, Hearing Loss, Miracles do happen, Multiple Sclerosis, Visually Impaired

The Social Security Office

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I had to visit the Social Security office today. Here’s the long version (because that’s the only way, really):

I’ve been receiving Social Security Disability Income for a full two years now. After you’ve received benefits for two years, they automatically enroll you in Medicare. I have health insurance through my husband’s employer, so I wasn’t real interested in Medicare, but if it’s free, I guess I can’t complain. What I learned, however, is that Medicare comes in different forms, and the two I was enrolled in were Part A (hospital insurance) and Part B (medical insurance). Now Part A is free, but Part B is not.

Now Part B could be advantageous, if it covered what my current health insurance doesn’t, and saved me more than I would be paying for the premium. But I never looked into it, because I learned that my participation in Part B would deem me ineligible for another program I’m part of. I currently receive assistance paying for my monthly Tysabri infusions (for MS, $20,000 before insurance PER infusion), and if I didn’t receive that assistance I would be stuck with about a $5,000 deductible. (I did warn you this was the long version.)

So basically, I could pay $120 per month for Part B Medicare and possibly $0 deductibles OR I could pay $0 premium and definitely $0 deductible. Now I was a straight A student, and I went to college. I chose the latter.

Simple, right? Not so. In March, when they sent me my Medicare welcome packet, I returned the card stating I was opting out of Part B. Then June came, and with it a welcome letter – and a statement of my insurance premium for PART B. I called to say W-T-F and they told me that was just a standard letter and that I would receive another one telling me it had been cancelled. Another month went by and my benefits came, less the $120 for Part B premium. I was not so happy, and I called again. They acted like they knew nothing about my opting out, and told me I needed to sign a form requesting cancellation, and that they would mail it to me.

At this point I didn’t believe a word they said, but I gave it a week to see if the form showed up. It did not. I called once again, but this time made the call to the local office, in case I needed to make an appointment. They said an appointment was not needed, but that I should come down and they would get it all straightened out. They made it sound so easy but I was still doubtful. I made arrangements (thanks Grandpa!) to get to the office today and guess what? It really was easy. The hardest part, literally, was signing myself in at the kiosk to get in line, when they asked me this question:

Are you….
1) Blind/low vision
2) Deaf/hard of hearing
3) (to be honest, I really don’t remember what was after those first two, but I was looking for an “all of the above” option)

I waited for about an hour, which is what they warned me it would be, and when they called my number I had to ask a few of the people waiting where #10 was, but they were all happy to direct the obvious newbie to her station, and I found it just fine. The gentleman was exactly that, a gentleman, and immediately put me at ease. He reassured me that cancelling was a simple process, and showed me where to sign, and before I even had a chance to ask, he was telling me they would be refunding me the two months of premium I had already paid, and the check will be on its way within the week!

I was so pleasantly surprised at how smoothly it went and I felt pretty silly for having been such a nervous wreck. No worries though, it’s done now and I can move on with the rest of my week. Is it really only Monday still?

 

 

Cochlear implant, Family, Food, Kids, Miracles do happen, Motherhood, Running

Anniveraries and magic…

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May 9, 2014 I received my first cochlear implant (right ear).
May 8,2015 I received my second cochlear implant (left ear).
Both days were the Friday before Mother’s Day. Being given the gift of hearing again was a pretty awesome Mother’s Day gift.

May 6, 2016 I ran my first 5k. It was also the Friday before Mother’s Day. Running it with my son, and in the presence of beloved family and friends was an even better gift yet.

I’ve decided that the Friday before Mother’s Day will now always be an anniversary to be celebrated. Whether it’s celebrating the gift of CI hearing, or the accomplishment of running a race, or whatever, each year I will set aside time to remember, reflect upon, and be thankful for what I have been given.

But really, can I just say how amazing this weekend was? Kicking butt at the 5k Friday, then having a super chill day with the kids on Saturday, and then this morning, on Mother’s DAY, my husband and children got up early so they could make breakfast for me before church. And not just those canned cinnamon rolls you throw in the oven, which was the only thing I had requested. While the kids put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher, my selfless husband whipped up some fried eggs and perfectly cooked bacon. He had even run to the store that morning to buy orange juice. And then, after I was finished eating, they all showered me with cards and gifts and chocolate (of course).

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We finished the day with a drive to take Grandma for a late lunch at IHOP, which was super duper yummy (I can’t get enough of those Belgian waffles). We visited and had a good time, and then drove home, exhausted but happy.

Oh, and I almost forgot – to top it off, on Friday we received an offer on our house! The old house we moved out of last August, affectionately called The Cottage, is hopefully getting closer to being out of our hands, and that will be such a relief. We are crossing our fingers and praying that everything goes smoothly. We shall know more in the coming days.

This weekend was the best weekend I’ve had in I don’t remember how long. It feels almost magical, as cheesy as that sounds. And of course, by saying that I totally ruined the magic, but whatever. Have a magical night, everyone!

 

 

Cochlear implant, Daily Snippets, Miracles do happen

An anniversary of sorts

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You guys. I have to tell you what just happened. I was posting a video of a cochlear implant surgery on Facebook, and wanted to note that my implants were coming up on their anniversaries (for the surgeries, not the activations). My right ear was planted first, in 2014, and the left ear was implanted a year later. Both happened to be on the Friday before Mother’s Day. I knew this, but wanted to verify the dates before posting this fact, so I opened up my calendar. The first thing I noticed was the date of my upcoming 5k run – it’s on the Friday before Mother’s Day. Get outta town! That had not even occurred to me when I signed up. And I swear to you, I didn’t plan that left ear surgery to be on that day either. In fact, it had originally been scheduled for earlier but had to be rescheduled due to a lingering infection.

But stop right here if you aren’t fascinated by the coincidence of these dates. If you think it’s silly, just stop.

For the rest of you… how cool is that? It’s better than a birthday, and in a way more exciting than my wedding anniversary. It’s an anniversary of hope and healing and victory over struggles. I want to give it a name and come up with fun ways to celebrate it every year. Any ideas?

Cochlear implant, Deafness, Hearing Loss, Memories, Miracles do happen, Music

Bilateral hearing rocks!

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This is exciting news. I didn’t know what to expect with the second cochlear implant, but I was told it’s different for everyone, and that quite a lot is possible. I had zero hope of ever hearing pitches normally again.
But guess what happened tonight? I was talking with my husband, telling him good night, and when I got to the bathroom to brush my teeth I looked at my reflection in the mirror and it occurred to me that I had just been hearing my own voice. MY VOICE. Which I hadn’t heard in almost two years. And you know what? I think I’ve been hearing real voices all day! It’s as if some thing in my brain just clicked. I’m so excited to hear more tomorrow, when I will actually be paying attention. To my son’s voice. To my daughter’s voice. And I’ll be hearing what they hear. Right?
I’m just in shock, I can’t find the words. I’m listening to my old ipod, with my favorite songs from before when I was a hearing person. Tool, Cibo Matto, Rusted Root, Over the Rhine, while still quite tinny, the notes are all there. The notes I remember. In my ears. And I’m not sleeping. This isn’t just in my dreams. It’s as good as real.
No words here. Just tears of joy. Indescribable joy.

Food, Miracles do happen, Photos

C is for cookie

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I have always loved baking. When I got sick and lost vision, I stopped. It broke my heart, really. But patience and courage prevail! Every day I’m improving, and every day I’m taking tiny steps toward regaining some independence and enjoyment in life.

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Hence, the cookies! Chocolate chip cookies, made with love. Yesterday’s batch using old secrets was terrible, so today I tried something new. And you can see from the photo, I couldn’t wait to try one. It was perfection. Simply perfection. Got milk?!

Coffee, Family, Food, Friends, Holidays, Miracles do happen, Photos

Leftovers

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The kids are at Grandma’s, and we have had a glorious time relaxing after the holiday. Yesterday after we dropped the kids off we stopped at the indoor shooting range. This is our idea of a date, because we both enjoy shooting. Mike is good at it, and has done well in competitions. In fact, I think he won the last one he competed in. I, on the other hand, am not so great. I just don’t get enough practice, but also the impaired vision doesn’t help. Though I surprised us both yesterday. I did a lot better than we expected. My reward? An early Christmas present purchased from the gun store, registered in my name.

After our time at the range, we headed to the local Italian restaurant for a good, Chicago-style pizza. Mike had been craving it, and I am always up for pizza. Even the day after Thanksgiving. We always like to order the largest sized pie and bring the leftovers home. Mike and Luke both just love cold pizza for breakfast. Silly boys.

So, this morning I had pizza for breakfast, and now I am enjoying the turkey day leftovers for lunch: pumpkin pie and coffee. We haven’t even touched the leftover turkey yet.

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Thankfully the house wasn’t destroyed from the festivities, so it didn’t take much to clean up. Dishes are done, extra table and chairs packed away, floor mopped. Mike even got his voice back!

I have to say I was quite amazed and pleased to see so many people giving thanks on Facebook this year. And not just any thanks, but thanks for the simple, genuine things like family and friends and God’s blessings. There was a bit of a trend of hard times for many of my friends and family this past year. Many of us were struck with extreme challenges like major illness and even death, some happening on this very week of Thanksgiving. I honestly believe the devil was trying extra hard this year to bring people down, but if my personal Facebook feed is any indication, it didn’t work. People are still seeing the good in life, and thanking God for it. I pray that continues, and that we are all able to see God’s hand at work in our lives.

All in all, it was a pretty perfect holiday. I am still learning to cope with change and enjoy every moment of life I am given. I pray the same for whoever is reading these words. Now… on to Christmas!!

Cochlear implant, Deafness, Dreams, Family, Holidays, Miracles do happen

The most thankful post yet

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This morning I had a wonderful, realistic dream that our family was sitting around waiting for Thanksgiving dinner. Mike’s aunt and grandparents were there, and we were trying on hats, comparing head sizes. We were just talking and having a good time. Like the old days when I was a hearing person. In reality, that was only a short time ago. I lost my hearing quickly, but almost as quickly I was given the gift of a cochlear implant. I remember the fear of complete silence, and I still experience that in bits and pieces (bedtimes, showers, etc.). So while it will never quite be the same, dreams like I had today remind me that it’s possible. It is on the horizon.

Almost literally.

My husband’s family, my adopted family, will be here tomorrow for the food-filled holiday of Thanksgiving. My dream – or memory, perhaps – will become a reality. Laughing together, sharing stories, making new and wonderful memories. Redeeming last year’s Thanksgiving when I ran crying from the dinner table. Last year was the first year in over a decade that we had not hosted turkey day, and I am proud and nervous to be reclaiming that tradition after such a challenging year. We have always felt blessed around this time of year, but this year I think more than most. Last year I was such a mess, but over time God has picked me up and held me, and given me peace and patience and hope. When I had nothing to give, and barely the strength to ask for help, He rescued me. He rescued all of us.

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found;was blind but now I see.”

Friends, God speaks, Miracles do happen

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine

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I started this post last night, but it was while I had the television on, so I was distracted. I scrapped it, because when you want to share an important message, “distracted” is a crappy mindset to be in. This morning I’m trying to go with “honest” and “clear minded”. Here goes…

I saw Jesus yesterday. Not literally, of course, but real enough. I hesitate to write publicly about this because I want to be respectful of others’ privacy and personal lives, but I hope she will understand the underlying desire to share the powerful message her life is speaking. Who is she? She is a dear friend from my church. Someone who I felt a connection to from the beginning, because when we met two short years ago, she was having difficulty walking, as I do many days. It looked like MS, though doctors were still working on a diagnosis at the time. After many months of waiting for more testing to be done, a diagnosis was made.

My friend has ALS. Also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, ALS is a debilitating, incurable, fatal neurological disease. The nerves that tell her body to do the most basic and necessary functions are quickly dying. In a very short amount of time she has had to deal with loss after loss after loss. She is dependent on her husband and countless others for everything: eating, bathing, dressing, sleeping. Not only that, but she is an extrovert. Being stuck at home has to be one of the hardest changes for her. Amongst all the rest.

But rest assured, there is a positive message here. You see, I never leave her house feeling sorry for her. In fact, I always leave feeling more blessed and amazed. Not because she is a great woman, though she is amazing, but because I see something – someone – shining through her. When I see her, I see Jesus in those sparkling eyes. She is living in one of the most tragic of situations, and she still wears a smile and true light in her eyes. She is confident that this is not the end for her. She is looking forward to an eternity with her Savior. When her physical body breathes it’s last labored breath, she will be in heaven, dancing with her Jesus.

This is a woman who has devoted her life to serving Christ by mentoring others, and she hasn’t let ALS stop her. She continues to mentor others from her wheelchair using the telephone, computer, and voice commands. She still accepts visitors at her home, even though it may be uncomfortable for some to see her in her present state. Her body is dying, but her spirit is still very much alive. Of course, she has her bad days, but she lets herself have them and moves on. Every day is a gift, and she knows this with all of her heart. She chooses to life live to the fullest, every day, with all she’s got. And it may look to the human eye like that’s not much, but I know the opposite is true. She has Jesus living within her, giving her strength and peace and courage and hope. By letting Him shine through her, she is a true inspiration.

My hope here is a sort of “pay it forward” wish. I know that Christ’s strength and power is made perfect in our weakness. It’s true for my friend, and I want it to be true of me. I was dealt a crappy hand this past year, but I am determined to make the best of it. With strength I didn’t know I had, I am overcoming. I am 100% confident that that strength comes from knowing Jesus, and I want everyone to know Him too. So I suppose that’s the message. I’m not an evangelist. I’m not trying to be pushy. After all, you could have stopped reading this at any point, and you still can. But if you’ve made it this far, let me ask you this: have you met Jesus? Do you want to? I know He wants to meet you, and I would be glad to introduce you 🙂

Cochlear implant, Deafness, Miracles do happen

Today was a good day

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I feel like someone should throw me a party, or buy me a congratulatory latte. I did get a high five from my audiologist and a fist bump from my husband. Why? Because at my last appointment I scored 21% speech recognition and today it was a whopping 79%! And that’s after only four months with one ear! Imagine how much better it will get with time and possibly a second ear implanted!

This is so exciting, to put a quantitative figure on the improvement until today I had only speculated was happening. Praise God!