Category Archives: Friends

Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Photos, Running

Sleeping Bear Training Week 10 of 14

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Well, where was I? I don’t even know what happened last week. Monday was Labor Day so the rest of the week was just… off. All week felt like I was playing catch up. Which means my training suffered, and I’m honestly very nervous I’m going to pay for it on race day, but I’m pressing forward regardless. I’ll have my guide runner with me, so if anything happens and I am unable to run, she can drag my a$$ to the finish line. Kidding. I’m really just hoping to finish without dying first.

So what training happened this past week? I ran 5 miles on Wednesday. That’s it. No more running, no strength training. However, late in the week I did start doing more leg exercises randomly throughout the day. Step-ups, squats, stuff like that. Because I need to get these legs ready for hills, and if I don’t have time to run, the least I can do is work my legs. So, I’m trying not to look at the week as a total loss.

As if to back up that assumption that the week wasn’t a total loss, last week was also my “fatigue week”, yet I only had one day of extreme fatigue, with the rest of the days feeling pretty normal energy levels (read: not struggling to move). That was definitely encouraging.

I finished the week with a trip up north with some of my closest girlfriends. We take this trip every year, and it’s such a great time of relaxing, laughing, chatting, all the things. We did a really fun thing this year and ended our time with a dune buggy ride! There are dunes near where we vacation and they run tours during the warmer months. I have lived my life in Michigan and never been on one, so it was a pretty cool experience. I am a little scaredy-pants, especially going down the hills but I survived and also really enjoyed the adventure.

The ride over the hills of the sand dunes had me thinking a lot about this race I’m training for, because it’s also over sand dunes. The Sleeping Bear Dunes in northern Michigan. I won’t be running on sand, thankfully they’ve built trails for people to trek, but the hills will be quite similar, I’m sure. I have my work cut out for me. Hopefully this coming week I’ll have more to report. We’ll see. So far it’s not looking great, but I do hope at a minimum to be able to complete a long run. I’ll let you know how it goes 😉

Family, Food, Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Music, Photos, Running

Trail Town 10k Report

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I ran a 10k on Saturday that I only half-heartedly trained for, but I had a blast. The weather was threatening thunderstorms all week, so the days leading up to it I wasn’t sure whether to be excited or bummed or nervous. The whole time I waffled between all these emotions I was kicking myself for not securing a guide runner for myself. The race was in my hometown, and 100% on trails I’ve trained on with a friend, so I just didn’t think I would need a guide. But adding rain to the mix would change the game a bit. I can’t see puddles well, or fallen branches. Also, my cochlear implants are not waterproof, and I did not want to have to remove them and run completely deaf.

I reached out to Facebook the day before, for encouragement and advice. My Facebook friends did not disappoint. I made a plan to wear my waterproof rain hat, and bring ziploc baggies to hold my cochlear processors if the hat didn’t keep them dry. With everyone’s encouragement, and the added benefit of having my husband present for the entirety of the race, I felt confident that I could do this.

The morning of the race I had a dream I was running a half marathon, and I was killing it. Seriously kicking ass and having fun. So that was my mindset when my Garmin watch buzzed at 7:30 am. I opened my eyes and said to myself, let’s do this! I looked at the sky and the morning’s weather forecast and was pleased to see that they only expected rain up until 9 or so. No storms! I was pleased at that, for sure, but my stomach was still in knots. I was excited and nervous, as usual. My husband and I got in the truck to head to the race and I just kept focusing on my breathing, hoping to settle my stomach. As we pulled out of our neighborhood Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir came on the radio (one of my favorites) and Mike and I looked at each other with impish smiles. I said, “This is my good luck running song.” In my head I was saying “Let’s f**king go. You’ve got this.”

As predicted, it did rain for the first couple miles of the race but then it cleared up for the remainder. There are lots of wooden bridges on our local trails, and they can get pretty slick when they are wet, so I did a lot of walking on the bridges. I normally run with intermittent 30 second walk breaks, Jeff Galloway style (if you know, you know), and my Garmin watch alerts me with vibrations when it’s time to run or walk. The problem is that I didn’t verify my watch was on the correct setting before starting the race, and about a half mile into the race I realized I wasn’t getting my alerts. It was still on the walk setting. I was feeling pretty strong with the running though, and knew I would have to do all the walking over the bridges, so I decided to go with it. I would just run the whole thing, with the exception of walking on the bridges.

My last-minute strategy worked out wonderfully and I felt strong the whole race. My left leg was of course threatening to drag towards the end, but not in the way it has in the past. Certainly not as bad as the last 10k, where for the last mile I needed to maintain a constant clutch on my guide runner’s arm to keep from falling. That was the Rivertown 10k in April, and I forgot to post about it, but it was a really fun race. In spite of the leg trouble at the end. Shout out to my guide and friend Mandy for making that race way more awesome than it should have been.

I finished this race with both hands held high and a smile on my face. I searched the crowd for Mike but I couldn’t find him so I just walked unsteadily toward a clearing, and then kept walking sort of in circles to keep from falling. I was unsteady, for sure, but I was able to stay upright this time, without any assistance. I may be getting stronger, folks! As I completed a circle and was facing the finish line, I saw Mike walking towards me. He had been on the other side, so I had a 50/50 chance of seeing him, I guess. We hugged, and then walked over to the pavilion to get a banana and granola bar. A race employee came over and asked me how it went, and I blabbed that I think this was my new favorite race. And even now, I think that’s true. I know I can run those trails for free, but it’s a whole different experience when you are surrounded by other runners, you are cheering each other on, and you get a pretty sweet medal at the end.

And of course, a free banana.

Riding home post race with my medal and my favorite chauffeur, my husband Mike.

Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

Heat Wave

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We’re having some hot days here in Michigan. And since we have all these lakes, that heat comes with humidity. Heat is one thing, but add in the humidity and it’s downright miserable. Ask anyone from Michigan or Florida, they’ll be happy to tell you. I stepped outside one day last week and immediately started sweating. Last week it was in the 90s, this week it’s looking to be a teensy bit cooler. It was 79 degrees Fahrenheit at 9:00 this morning, and I think reached 87. It’s one of those things we Michiganders love to complain about. It unifies us, makes us feel like we all have something in common.

But I didn’t come on here to complain about the heat. Not really. I wanted to share how the heat affects me as someone living with multiple sclerosis. This is one of the things I remember the doctors and therapists warning me about when I was first diagnosed. “Keep your core temperature down” they said, “be careful not to get overheated”. I didn’t know at the time how important that advice was, but almost 15 years with the disease and I have a thorough understanding now. My body doesn’t handle extreme temperatures well, either cold or heat. While extreme cold causes me more pain, mostly in my legs, the extreme heat is more debilitating overall. When I get overheated I often feel physically ill. My legs move more slowly, as if I’m hiking through thick mud. I’m more fatigued, and not in the cyclical way I’ve talked about with my Tysabri infusions, but more of a general moving slow. All day, every day. All summer I will need to give myself grace and know that I’ll just be doing everything a lot more slowly. Even running.

Which brings me to today’s example. I’m trying to maintain some level of fitness throughout this fatigue, but with this heat outside it’s forced me to do my running on the treadmill. And when I say running, I really mean mostly walking. It’s been a struggle. Today my plan was to try 5 miles. With two fans blowing on me at full speed and a wet handkerchief wrapped around my neck, I stepped onto my basement treadmill wearing my lightweight running shorts and sport bra. I was able to do some very slow running for portions of my run, but I mostly had to walk, and as I approached the 3rd mile I knew I wasn’t going to make it to 5. I stopped at 3 and called it good. It’s hard to complain about “only” going 3 miles out of 5 when you still remember the days of needing a walker to get around.

I think the heat also affects my already poor balance. I’ve been a lot more tipsy lately. Last night I was at a gathering with my friends and when I stood up from the couch, I almost fell over as I started to walk. Everyone gasped because I think they saw me falling but none of them could get up in time to catch me. Thankfully, I was able to catch my balance and I never went down, but I definitely tried to be more careful going forward, moving more slowly and cautiously.

That walker that I had to use back in 2013 is still in storage and has been for over 10 years. Every day I am thankful I am able to get myself out of bed (even if it’s much later in the morning than I would prefer). I know how beneficial the running and walking is for my M.S. so I just need to keep doing it. Consistency trumps volume, and some days I won’t go the distance I had hoped, but that’s okay. I am still moving. With as hot as it has been outside, that’s no small miracle.

Deafness, Disability, Exercise, Family, Friends, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Photos, Running, Stories, Visually Impaired

Running with Guides

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A few months ago I signed up for a new-to-me 10k. The entire race event is set up to raise funds and awareness for pulmonary hypertension (PH) and multiple sclerosis (MS), and it offered multiple distance options. The name of the 10k distance was “Melinda’s 10k”, which is my full name so you know I just HAD to sign up. I did not look at the course map, and I had no friends who were running it but I wasn’t worried about it. I would wear my DeafBlind vest and be extra careful, and it would be fine. I signed up, and then forgot all about it.

A month ago I received a message from United in Stride, which is an online database that helps pair blind runners with guides. The company was founded in 2015, so it hasn’t been around for long, but I do believe it’s growing. I signed up with them several years ago, when I realized I was getting serious about running, but at that time there weren’t any guide runners in my area so I just forgot about it. Then comes this message from Allison, who wants to know if I need a guide runner for any upcoming races. At first I told her no, because I had forgotten about Melinda’s 10k, but then immediately came back and said yes, actually I do have a race I need a guide for. She was immediately on board! Not only that, she was eager to run a couple training runs with me, which was a great way for us to get to know each other ahead of the race, and for us to practice running side by side.

Me & Allison before the race. Lots of sun! All smiles.

We ran this race together, and it was a good thing I had her with me. For several reasons, much of the course we were the only ones in sight (or at least in my sight): it was a small-town race, not a lot of 10k participants, not a lot of spectators, and I’m pretty slow so I hang at the back of the “pack”. There were several spots in the course where I could have easily made a wrong turn and gotten lost. I was super grateful to have her with me. I had been hoping to beat my previous 10k PR (personal record) from 2020, but that wasn’t meant to be. Not only was it really warm this day, but my fatigue this past month was pretty gnarly and prevented me from doing the amount of training I needed. I was happy to finish though, and I wasn’t too far off my goal, so I’ve got something to work towards for the next one.

Me & Allison after the race, holding up our medals. Still smiling!

The best part about this for me, what I’m really excited about, is that it opens up more options for racing. Up until now I’ve only ever entertained the idea of running races local to me, where I could easily get a ride from my family or friends, and not have to worry about inconveniencing them. The couple I have done outside of our area, my family and friends graciously took me to because they knew they were important to me, but I’ve run out of those bucket list type races. Now I just want to keep racing for the fun of it. It’s hard to ask someone to bring you to an out-of-town race when there’s nothing in it for them but standing around waiting for you to drag your sweaty ass over the finish line (thank you a million times over to my dear husband who does this without complaint, and is always more than willing to hug me and hold me up at the end, despite my level of stink).

So. All that to say, I am stoked to have yet another running buddy. Allison and I have been talking about what other races we could run together, and I love her enthusiasm. I’m old enough to be her mom, which took some getting used to at first, but I think her energy helps to motivate me so it’s a great thing. She made us matching bracelets that say “Unstoppable”, and I’m looking forward to wearing mine at all our future races.

The finisher’s medal and the bead bracelet Allison made for me.

As I was writing this it occurred to me that I don’t think I ever posted about my race from last month, so I’ll get that one started for you too. It will be another great opportunity to talk about my invaluable guide runners. I couldn’t do this crazy stuff without them!

Cochlear implant, Coffee, Disability, Domestic Engineer, Family, Friends, Grief, Health, Housekeeping, Kids, Multiple Sclerosis

Health Update (Warning: this is a long one)

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I have great news. My fatigue levels have been going steadily down, my left leg has become way more responsive, and as of today, I am feeling zero nerve pain on my back! I can cautiously say I am back to my previous “normal”.

I first noticed the energy levels coming back a few days ago. I had been walking around the house, originally for accomplishing only necessary tasks like using the restroom and drinking coffee. But somehow along the way I realized I was *also* picking things up and putting them away, cleaning small problem areas in various rooms. It was only when my daughter said to me, “you need to sit down”, that I realized I had been doing anything extra. I thought she was telling me to sit down so I wouldn’t spill my coffee (as I often do), but she said it because she noticed I was audibly out of breath from walking up the stairs.  That was the moment it dawned on me. I had been cleaning, and that walk up the stairs to my bedroom was the last straw for my lungs, apparently.

Let me just pause the update right here and share with you the poignant realization that came to me at this time. What dawned on me was this: I am not a lazy person. I do the things that need to be done, when I am able. Even more surprising, I don’t often have to think about it; I just do it. This realization gave me such pause because one of the things I’ve been struggling with over these several weeks of constant fatigue is the feeling like I’m not measuring up because I’m not doing the things I normally do. I was feeling like an unproductive and lazy person. I don’t know why the voices in my head tell me such awful lies, but they do. So while I was happy to have some energy creeping back, I was also sad to think that all that time when I could have been resting peacefully and allowing my body to heal from this wretched attack on my nerves, instead I was beating myself up for not being more productive. I think we like to call this, “stinkin’ thinkin'”, and it’s got to stop.

So I’m putting this here for two reasons. One – so that I can come back to it when those awful thoughts inevitably come back to haunt me and two – so that you can learn from my mistakes and be kinder to yourself as well.

Now back to my health update…

When I realized all these symptoms that had crept up weren’t going away, I had reached out to my neurologist’s office. They ordered lab tests, which all came back normal. They would have liked to see current MRIs to check for active lesions on my brain and spine, but since I have cochlear implants that’s not an option for me. Some newer cochlear implants are safe for certain MRI machines, but not mine. I would have to have them surgically removed first. Not happening, that’s overkill. So, since they couldn’t get updated MRIs, we just moved forward with treating my symptoms. The nurse practitioner talked with me for over an hour in her office, discussing diet, exercise, sleep, stress levels. Through our discussion I think we landed on two possible culprits, poor sleep and high stress.

We’ve addressed my poor sleep quality with a small nightly dose of gabapentin. I have taken this in the past at a higher dose for nerve pain in my legs, but never on a consistent basis. She wanted me to take a small dose every night to let it build up in my system, knowing it would help me sleep but also may help with the nerve pain in my back (the technical term is dysesthesia, if you care to look it up.) The gabapentin did not have a noticeable effect on the dysesthesia. However, it is absolutely improving my sleep quality and I think that has been the #1 factor in the abatement of all my symptoms.

Sleep is an easier fix than the second factor. One of the first questions the neurologist’s assistant had asked me was, “Have you had an increase in stress level?”. Big Fat Sigh. You could say that. I told her we had recently lost a close friend to cancer. Our friend Dave passed away in January, after fighting an aggressive cancer for five months. Five months that felt like both an eternity and a blink of an eye. Dave had been like a brother to us for 25 years. His family is our family. He was only 47, and he’s left behind a beautiful and amazing wife and two grown children. He was my husband’s best friend. His wife Sarah, one of my best friends. His absence is still felt daily in our home.

I shared with Sarah shortly after his passing that I didn’t feel like I had the right to be so sad because he wasn’t MY husband. He wasn’t MY best friend. But she – so graciously and that’s why I love her so much – told me we all had the right to grieve. We all grieve in different ways, and that’s okay.

I didn’t intend for this post to be about anything other than my health update, but it has taken this turn and I’m going with it. What I’m acknowledging is that Dave’s illness and passing was more stressful than I realized. Prior to this I was fortunate to say I hadn’t dealt a whole lot with death. I hadn’t lost a lot of people I was very close with. My immediate family and close friends are all still living. But Dave was close, and I know this because his absence is still felt here in our home. Reminders of him are everywhere. When we were searching for old photos of him for his memorial service, my husband and I joked that we had more pictures of his kids than ours. We have so many great stories, memories of time spent with him. We will never forget him. We are sad, heartbroken, but we know he is now at peace and no longer suffering. And if he were reading this he would say let’s move on Mel, this is depressing.

Okay? Okay. Back to the health update…

So, externally, I can acknowledge that my grief changed the way I was eating, drinking, sleeping, exercising. All the normal, healthy habits I had worked to establish went out the window. And internally, I was holding in a lot of emotional pain. I still am somewhat, but I’m working through all that with prayer, journaling, therapy, connecting with friends and family. My heart is healing.

I have been getting back to my healthy habits, but the reality is that my body tends to delay in its reactions to stress. I am generally a slow processor – “don’t rush me!” – and this translates neurologically as well. In fact, when I had the BIG relapse in 2013 that left me deaf and half blind, it all started one week after I completed my last college class to complete my bachelor’s degree. I had been under a lot of stress, and my body held that in until after it was over. So I think that’s kind of what has been happening now. I was holding in a lot of that stress and grief and when I started to let go of it, my body reacted. Stress and M.S. are a really bad combo. I need to remember that moving forward and be more mindful of my stress levels. Know better, do better. Be kind to yourself, and rest when you need it. That lesson is for both me and you. Do you hear me? It’s for all of us. Shalom, my friends. Shalom.

Faith, Family, Food, Friends, Hearing Loss, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Visually Impaired

Thinking about the spoon theory

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Today I used up too many spoons folding laundry and fixing lunch, so I had to make the decision to stop part way through and cross some things off today’s to-do list.

Spoons? What?! No, I’m not having a stroke. I’m referring to the Spoon Theory. I was trying to explain this Spoon Theory to my therapist this week, because she had never heard of it either. This article explains it much better than I can: https://www.goodrx.com/health-topic/mental-health/spoon-theory. Basically, it is a way that many people living with chronic illness conceptualize how to manage our energy levels. Each day we wake up with a set number of spoons, and as we go through our daily tasks, we use up those spoons.

I can say that for me, I never know how many spoons I’ll wake up with each day. My spoon rations (I.e. energy levels) are unpredictable and sporadic. I often have moments in the day where I feel energetic, but it hardly ever lasts very long. That happened today. I woke up feeling pretty well, considering the excessive fatigue I’ve been struggling with over the last month or so. I folded a load of laundry, started on a second load, and then noticed the time and realized I needed to eat. I went down to the kitchen and fixed myself a breakfast taco. After eating, I went back upstairs to finish with the laundry and just couldn’t. I had to sit down. Lie down, actually. Like it states in the article linked above, everyday tasks demand extreme effort. Getting dressed, brushing my hair and teeth, all cost daily “spoons”. I forget that fact and tend to overdo it. Repeatedly. I may never learn. But that’s why I’m grateful to have loving family members and friends who graciously remind me of my limitations (something like, “you have M.S., remember?”) and give me permission to rest (I know, I can give myself permission, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone outside yourself.)

So. It’s only 2:30 pm and I’m thinking about what I have on my plate for the rest of the day, and how many spoons it will take to clear that plate. I am attending a sporting event for my son tonight and I know that’s going to require several spoons, so I’m resting in order to reserve my energy for that. Because even if I have enough spoons to get there, it’s likely I won’t have enough to pay attention to what’s happening or carry on conversations. With cochlear implants, having conversations uses up a lot more spoons than it did before I was deaf. Same with the vision. It takes a lot more effort to get around than it did before. Thankfully, my husband will be there to support me. That is always reassuring. But that act of evaluating my daily activities and how it will likely affect my energy levels is a daily thing. I think about it all. The. Time.

I’m not sharing all of this to whine, and I hope that’s clear. I just thought you might be interested in hearing a bit about what my daily life is like living with this chronic illness. As I told my neurologist earlier this week, managing M.S. is like a full-time job. Seriously. And I’ve had it “easy” for a long time now, so I suppose I was due to have some difficult days. I’ll get through this. Lord knows I’ve done it before and with His help, I’ll do it again. Slowly but surely, one day at a time.

So with that I say – take a break, reader! Go outside, listen to fun music, take a nap. And happy Friday… have a wonderful weekend.

Disability, Exercise, Friends, Health, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Running, Stories, Visually Impaired, Writing

Moving on…

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Wow. I knew I hadn’t posted in awhile but I didn’t realize it’s been nearly two months. I’ve been okay, really. I’ve just been focusing on a lot of other things. And I’ve still been writing in some capacity all along, because I am still the ME who lives and breathes for writing. Writing seems to be one of those things that actually gives me energy. Mental energy mostly, not physically. The running helps with the physical energy. Since it is winter in Michigan, I have struggled to run consistently, because I detest the treadmill, and running outside is neither safe nor desirable. Even when I can bundle up for warmth, I still have the ice and snow to think about. I walk out my front door after a good snowfall and it’s a sea of white, covering potential icy hazards. So I’ve been trying to get to the gym for treadmill running and strength training, but it’s been a bit sporadic.

Also, all the sleeping! With shorter winter days and limited sunlight, I feel like I’m not alone in this. Needing more sleep seems to be the trend, so I’m not blaming the multiple sclerosis for this one, though I do think it’s heightened. I’m definitely needing more sleep than usual. And this year, I’m just accepting that. It’s fine, I’m fine, everything is fine.

We lost a close friend to cancer last month, and that has motivated me to stop wasting time with my memoir. Because he was too young. Life is short and we are not promised tomorrow, so we need to cherish every moment. So I’ve been chugging away at my memoir a little teensy tiny bit every day. All the books I’ve read on writing memoir compare it to training for or running a marathon, which fortunately I’ve done! So I can compare the two, and I honestly believe writing this memoir is proving to be more difficult than training for a marathon. But I also think it will be more rewarding once I’ve completed it.

Writing memoir requires a lot of introspection, self-awareness, and emotional gymnastics. I’m comfortable with this, but it does exhaust me in surprising ways. So I’m learning – again – when I need to take breaks, and giving myself permission to do that. Hi, my name is Mel and I’m a recovering over-achiever. Most nights I try to go to bed with a to-do list for the next day, and very rarely do I tackle everything on the list. The excessive sleeping has been a huge hinderance to that, for sure. Some days I’m writing stories, other days I’m organizing my ideas and brainstorming, and still other days I’m reading about writing. But if I can give the memoir even 15 minutes per day, I’m calling that a win because it’s progress. Snail’s pace progress, but still progress.

So that’s kind of a snapshot of what I’ve been up to. Sleeping, writing, and sporadic exercise. What else, folks? I guess that’s all I’ve got for now, but I wanted to pop my head up and let you know I’m still around, and I’m doing well, overall. I hope the same is true for you. Shalom, my friends. Shalom.

Daily Snippets, Deafness, Deep thoughts, Disability, Family, Friends, Health, Holidays, Low vision, Mental health, Multiple Sclerosis, Nonsense, Running, Stories, Visually Impaired, Writing

Some Friday Ramblings

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**Note, I started this post several days ago and didn’t finish it. I just didn’t feel like I was writing the way that I used to, or would like to, or “should”. All kinds of silly reasons to abandon a post, but whatever. I’ve been trying to hop back into the art of writing that I have loved, on and off, my entire life. After completing that marathon I was exhausted in so many ways and then lots was happening here at home that required my energy and attention, and then Thanksgiving, and on and on with the reasons/excuses for my absence here. I really desire to get back to regular blogging, regular writing. Lots of changes have happened with me over the last two years so I’m hoping “Writing Mel” is still alive here. I believe she is, and we are just dusting her off a bit. Bear with me, por favor. Gracias. Now back to the original post.**

I noticed when I logged onto WordPress today that they had a writing prompt; the question was “what will your life look like in three years?”. Which is interesting to me, because I was just hopping on here to tell you about a discussion I had with my husband recently that was along these lines. We were basically discussing whether we were content with our lives. And if asked that question, I would say that absolutely, I am content. However, if you had asked me 15 years ago if I would have chosen this life for myself, the answer would have been “hell, no.” I would never have chosen to be disabled and unable to work a job. Having multiple sclerosis, being deaf *and* half-blind, simply put – SUCKS. But I’m 10 years into this, and while it’s taken time, I’ve slowly learned to see (not literally, unfortunately lol) and be thankful for the benefits that have come from it. I’ve learned from these struggles. They have made me who I am today, and I love who that is.

I feel like I’m coming into a new season of life. I’m done training for marathons (for the next few years, at least). My kids are teenagers and can feed themselves (and prefer to, actually). The dogs are pretty low maintenance. So now I’m at a point where I’m learning how to rest. I’m learning how to be okay with sitting still. For as long as I can remember, I have had trouble with sitting still. Not that I physically can’t, but that when I do, there is a general unease felt underneath my skin and deep in my spirit. Like I’m “supposed” to be doing something. I’m often noticing my shoulders are hunched up and I need to consciously pull them back down.

I was actually discussing this general unease with a friend the other day, and she expressed how completely opposite she was from me in this regard, and we had a laugh. She seemed like she was saying she rests too much, and finds herself procrastinating. Sounds a bit like we would do well if we came more to the other’s side and met in the middle. But then where would be the fun in that? I love the variety I see in all of my friends and family members. It’s funny to me the things we experience and think are normal for everybody, when really we are all so different in so many ways. It makes life a lot more interesting, and brings us closer together as we support each other in our areas of strength and weakness.

So back to the season of rest. That’s where I am currently. I still have an ongoing list in my head of all the things I want to *do*, but I’m trying to be more kind to myself. While I’ll never regret running that second marathon, I will admit that I made the commitment without full consideration of my limits; physically, mentally, emotionally. So you could say I’m taking a break. Ish. A semi-break. Evaluating what I value most, and then easing those things back in. It feels a little like riding an inner tube on a lazy river. I’m enjoying it so far.

And that, my friends, is a little taste for you of the rambling that goes on in my brain on the daily. You are welcome. See you next time.

Food, Friends, Funny story, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Stories, Visually Impaired

Restaurant leftovers

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My visual impairment is unnoticeable to others, usually. And then there are times you are trying to box up your own leftovers and it becomes comically evident that something isn’t right. I was out for breakfast with a friend and had ordered a delicious breakfast burrito. I was only able to eat two-thirds of it because it was enormous. So naturally, I asked the server for a box to take my leftovers home. No problem, he said. Then he quickly came back and set a foil box on the table. Gone are the days where they box up your leftovers for you, which I am a-okay with. However, I struggle a bit with doing it myself. I shoveled my leftover burrito into the box and then felt around, searching for the lid. I asked my friend, where’s the lid? With an amused smile, no doubt holding back a hearty chuckle, she said, “It’s inside the foil. You put your burrito on it. May I?” She says this as she’s motioning toward the box to offer to fix it for me. The lid was a transparent plastic that sat inside the foil box, and I had just placed my food on top of it, believing I was setting it directly on the foil. Thankfully the lid was upside down, so all she had to do was flip it over with the burrito into the foil dish and all was well.

After that slight debacle, the server came back and patiently waited the 38 minutes it took me to read the receipt and pay using the handheld computer thing. Because I am now a slow reader. It takes time for me to locate and properly identify letters and numbers, especially on a white screen. I want to be sure I get it right, especially when I’m authorizing someone to remove money from my bank account.

My visual impairment is both a loss of field of vision and an atypical color blindness, so I can’t really decipher things unless they are bright and highly contrasting colors. I read an article earlier this week that the color blindness is actually a common symptom that comes along with optic neuritis, which is what I have. Optic neuritis is very common with M.S., but it usually resolves after a short time period. In my case, it never did. It showed up in September of 2013 and took up permanent residence in my life. An unwelcome guest that I continually work to make peace with. Being so visually impaired really tries my patience most days, but this morning I was able to laugh at myself. It’s exhausting and utterly ridiculous and sometimes laughing at myself is all I can do. It happens a lot, to be honest. So I’m going to try to remember and share more of the stories here when they happen and hopefully, we can laugh together.

Decluttering, Friends, Hobbies, Music, Photos, Running

My Renovated Hutch

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What you see pictured here is my renovated secretary hutch!! The whole of it is sage green and the interior is an off-white called “drop cloth”. The new handles are a rectangular brushed silver (I think). I removed the little drawers and bill holders from the interior because who needs bill holders anymore? I replaced it with a silver paper tray and drawer unit that I found on Amazon and I’m stoked that it fits absolutely perfectly. It’s almost like I knew what I was doing. I still have some lighting to put up inside the desk area and always a bit of tweaking here and there but I would say for the most part, it’s complete! It was done drying last Friday but I had to order my new desk organizer and the pad for my laptop so I waited to show y’all when those were in place. Since this photo was taken, my husband drilled a hole in the back so the cords are all hidden and out of the way.

When I’m not using the desk area, I’m still able to fold that flap up and access the three drawers underneath. The top two drawers hold all my running clothes and gear, and the bottom drawer holds some miscellaneous items, including all of the music CDs I am not willing to get rid of (yet? I don’t know). There’s also a small CD player in there so yes, I have the capability to listen to the CDs. They just still don’t sound the same as they did before I became deaf. So I don’t pull them out very often. But they are all still really important to me, probably even more than the books I’ve painfully discarded over the past ten years, and they don’t take up much space, so I’m keeping them for now.

I’m so excited to use this desk now. I was using it every single day already, but now I can breathe a lot better while using it. I had fallen in love with this hutch because of its functionality, but now I’ve fallen in love all over again because it’s a color and style that I chose.

So that’s the big reveal, folks. My newly renovated hutch. I have to give all the credit to my friend who suggested we do this, and did the bulk of the work. It looks and feels amazing.