Category Archives: Friends

Bible Study Fellowship, Books, Coffee, Faith, Friends

Book review: The Color of Compromise

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Yesterday I finished reading The Color of Compromise, by Jemar Tisby. This libary book took me two check-out periods to read, because it had a lot of big words. I am okay with big words, but I do struggle with processing information, so it made for very slow reading. However, it was definitely worth the read. This book was about the history of racism in America and how the church has been complicit in prolonging its presence in our culture. A lot of the chapters were painful to read, heartbreaking in their detail, but I think it is all necessary to learn about. While I’m still processing everything I read, I thought it would be good to jot down the pros and cons I gleaned from the book.

As I mentioned, it had a lot of big words. While I don’t mind big words here and there, many portions of the book were just saturated with three syllable words and super long sentences, and that made it very difficult to follow along with the ideas. I did, however, appreciate that it wasn’t just a bashing of Christians. With every example of our compromise or complicity with racism over the course of history, it offered words of hope and examples of things we had done in order to better the lives of and help bring justice for people of color. There’s always more work that can and should be done, however.

The book closed with some really great suggestions of practical ways we can take action against racism now and in the future. I appreciated that the writer also acknowledged the reality that there will always be some level of racism in society, because of the presence of sin in the world. We can have hope that Christ will return and make all things new.

One thing I felt challenged to do while reading this book was to make more connections with the black people around me. I tend to get really shy at my church and Bible study, and I often avoid introducing myself to new people. Part of this timidity stems from my difficulty seeing and hearing, but that’s only part of it. For too long I mistakenly feared that many of the black women wouldn’t be receptive to me because I am white, and I therefore couldn’t possibly understand them. How wrong I was! I have been a part of BSF for 8 years and in most of those years my assigned discussion group has been mostly white, with some years one or two black women. This year my discussion group was right around 50/50 black and white. I can’t even tell you how refreshing it was to be in such a diverse group. We spent nine months studying the book of Revelation together, discussing that and lots of other facets of life and you know what? We had a lot in common after all. Sure, we had different perspectives on a million different things, but we were all there to learn and share and we respected one another’s views. It was an incredible year making new friends, and I truly look forward to getting to know them better in the years and studies to come.

The bottom line: I recommend the book, if you have the stomach for it. It’s not an easy read, but it’s a necessary one.

Bible Study Fellowship, Books, Coffee, Daily Snippets, Disability, Exercise, Faith, Family, Friends, Writing

Long and Rambling, perhaps

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Oh my word, friends. I joined a challenge to do 100 push ups every day in the month of May. My sister does these challenges with a Facebook group and they have always fascinated and tempted me, but this one grabbed me because she said you could do modified versions, and you could space them out in any increment, so I thought what the hell, let’s give it a shot! I have always had super weak arms and would love to get stronger so this is proving to be good motivation. We are eight days in and I have come to love the countertop pushup. It seems to be the perfect level of challenge for me. I can’t do the 100 all at once, but even in this short number of days, my endurance is already improving.

Today I decided to head back to the gym for some elliptical time and a full body circuit workout. The bonus? A hydromassage to finish it off. The hydromassage beds at Planet Fitness are 10 minutes of pure relaxation. My muscles are thanking me.

A short walk down the street and I’m parked at the coffee shop enjoying a large Americano. I was feeling so sluggish all morning and I think it was the lack of caffeine. I really had to push through that workout at the gym. It ain’t easy folks, but it’s worth it.

The interesting thing about this morning was that I was feeling really tired, but not fatigued. It was your classic – not enough sleep, not enough caffeine, wanna go back to bed – tired. I was feeling sluggish and borderline grumpy. It was refreshing in a weird way, to feel something like “normal”. Like how I used to feel sometimes on Monday mornings, heading into the office to work. A lifetime ago.

You could say I’m still working on accepting the loss of that life. It comes in bits and pieces. I am so grateful for where I am and how God has blessed me through disability. I am able to spend days like today at the coffee shop while my husband goes to work. But there are still parts of that life I long for. I’ll always long for independence. It’s just that these days it’s a muted longing, and I’m not nearly as angry about it as I used to be.

My desire to write more is coming back. A long time ago I was introduced to a memoir coach, Wendy Dale. She does paid coaching, but she also offers free coaching on YouTube videos. I had watched all the videos and was impressed with her knowledge. She was somehow able to deliver all this info in a simple and straightforward way. I was intrigued, and thought I was going to really get going at writing more, but life sort of pushed it to the side. I was more focused on my family and running than writing. And if I’m honest, that’s probably still true. Our son, our firstborn, is graduating from high school any minute now and will be off to college in the fall. You can imagine the mental load. Also, I’m working to get back into running, because I took too big of a break over the winter and my health and energy levels took that hit pretty hard. But back to Wendy. She recently published a book, “The Memoir Engineering System”, so of course I had to read it. It was all this lovely knowledge of hers, all compiled in one place. I purchased the Kindle version and devoured it in a few short days. It will be my guide book for when I am actually ready to write that book, but for now it’s all just rolling around in my head. You guys, I have so much rolling around in my head, you have no idea. Well, you have some idea because I like to ramble on here on the blog. I mean, that’s kinda what it’s here for. To help me declutter my mind. You’re welcome.

What else? I’m still reading a lot. Watching a lot of Criminal Minds reruns. Just finished up another year of BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). We studied the book of Revelation this year. In my 40 years as a Christ follower I had never read Revelation so I was a little apprehensive about it. It went well though. I had a great discussion group. Very diverse, and as my friend Cynthia noted at Share Day yesterday, full of alpha women. It was terrific. I don’t know how it is at other locations, but our BSF here in my city does a very good job at running this program. It’s always a safe space. Some days the passages we are reading are really difficult, and I have always loved that questions are welcomed and encouraged. We don’t always walk away with the answers – almost never, to be honest – but we walk away with a broader perspective and insight. I’ll miss my BSF ladies over the summer but I look forward to seeing them again in the fall!

I think that’s the bulk of my rambling updates, for now. My coffee needs my attention. Have a beautiful day, my friends.

Family, Food, Friends

It was a forking Feast!

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I’m getting ready to go back to bed for a nap but wanted to hop on here real quick to humble brag about a meal I made last weekend. I had bought a pork tenderloin on sale – mostly because it was such a good sale and I couldn’t pass that up. We don’t eat a lot of pork around here because I have never been able to cook it well, so it’s usually dry and tasteless. I have *never* made pork tenderloin so it was completely foreign to me. However, I saw this sale while preparing my grocery order online and did a quick search for what to do with a pork tenderloin, found an easy and tempting recipe for a spice rub, and went ahead and bought the meat.

I also had a bunch of russet potatoes I had leftover from Easter. I had ordered a 5 pound bag, they were out of stock so they gave me a 10 pound bag. I had commented that I didn’t know what I was going to do with all those potatoes. This led to a discussion with my mother-in-law about all the wonderful things you can do with potatoes – au gratin, scalloped, cheesy, etc. – and that conversation was still rolling around in my head a week later.

This is when I had the bright idea to make a Sunday feast for my family. Pork tenderloin with au gratin potatoes. I was so excited! I would prepare the potatoes early so all I would need to do is put them in the oven. I would take my sweet time preparing the tenderloin, trimming the fat and applying the spice rub. It was going to be great.

“But so much food, Mel. So much. And you have picky eaters, they may not like pork and potatoes. Maybe you should invite a friend or two to join you, to help you eat this feast.”

And that is exactly what I did. I invited a few friends over, friends who were safe and kind people who would not mind if the pork and potatoes were terrible and we ended up resorting to frozen burritos instead. But you know what happened? It turned out amazing. Yep. It smelled so good in my house I wished I could have taken a picture, but since that was obviously not possible I was thrilled there were people on their way over to smell it for themselves. And we had a wonderful time. It was informal and relaxed and everyone ate and enjoyed themselves – even my family of picky eaters.

Y’all, I have always had such a low view of myself in this area, of cooking and hosting, this day was a major confidence booster for sure. It was a memorable day and I’m so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. I’ve always marveled at others who get such joy out of feeding other people and now I feel like I’m starting to “get” it. It makes me more eager to keep trying, and I look forward to more feasts. What should I make next?

Family, Friends, Photos, Punky

Punky’s Best Day

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Punky soaking in the sun
Punky is ready for some baseball!

Our younger dog, Punky, a 3 year old golden retriever, was lucky enough to attend her very first baseball game yesterday! Our town hosts a minor league baseball team, and they allow dogs at the games once a week or so. Normally dog days are on a weekday, but this time it was a Saturday and we were able to snag some free tickets. Hurray! It was still a tad chilly for the game, because Michigan is really confused about the calendar, but we dressed for it and had no issues with it. We weren’t sure how she would do at this event, because at home she is scared of almost literally everything that moves or has the potential to move. However, she did great. She loved meeting other dogs, but her favorite part was laying at our feet in the stands. It was a great day for baseball, and a great day spent with family and friends, even the furry ones. Hands down would do it again.

Daily Snippets, Food, Friends, Multiple Sclerosis

(Final) Daily Post #12 – December 16, 2025

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I might still continue daily posting, but I’m no longer going to call them daily. I don’t like the pressure, ha!

Today was a slow moving day, fatigue was in the background all day long but I was able to take care of the dirty dishes. Small victories. I also had a couple really great conversations and connections with friends, and that is an even bigger win, in my book. I have been blessed with some pretty incredible friends.

Tomorrow will be a food day. I have to order groceries for the husband to pick up, as well as get started on making yummy Christmas treats. And I may throw some vacuuming in there just for funsies. We’ll see. Have a great night folks!

Bible Study Fellowship, Cochlear implant, Daily Snippets, Disability, Friends, Kids, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Visually Impaired

Daily Post #7 – December 11, 2024

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It’s bedtime, folks, and I almost forgot to post! My head is all squirrely today. Trying to set up new phone and learn necessary features is such fun. I mean, not really. It’s exhausting, but I’m getting there. I had some trouble last night getting it properly connected to my cochlear implants via Bluetooth, but I handed it over to my daughter and she was able to get it working. Teenagers, you gotta love ’em!

Today was a fun day filled with great conversation with beautiful people. First, at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) and then later with two of my besties. Three days in a row spending time with awesome women. I am feeling super blessed this week.

Tomorrow and Friday the plan is to wind down and regroup. I have an early morning online meeting with someone from the kids’ school – nothing major, just some routine business to take care of. Hopefully it will be quick and painless lol I had thought about going to the gym afterwards but I decided to postpone that for Friday or Saturday because not being home much for three days in a row leaves me wondering what is needing my attention. The kitchen, fridge, our personal finances. All of it needs some TLC so that’s what I’m looking at. I’m sure you’ll enjoy reading all about that after the fact, right?

I’m enjoying these quick daily updates. One thing I should mention before I go – just to keep it M.S. related for all those who may be curious – setting up this new phone, finding all the features, reading the screen, etc. is utterly exhausting on my eyes. It’s legit work, for real. I find I need to take super frequent breaks to rest my eyes. When they start acting all stabby and bouncing around, I know I’ve overdone it. It’s slow work, and I’m really trying hard to stay thankful that I still have some vision and it’s remained stable all these years.

And that is all, I’ll let you go now. Sleep well, my friends!

Daily Snippets, Family, Food, Friends, Low vision

Daily Post #5 – December 9, 2024

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I almost forgot my daily post! So, I’m sitting here at my desk, sans cochlear implants (so in the silence) and with my face 10 inches from the screen because I already took my contacts out. Basically, I’m going to make this quick. Today entailed some prayer in my living room with another mom from our school (we do this every other week but normally there are more than just the two of us), then a wonderful brunch with a friend I hadn’t seen since May. We had so much catching up to do and we’ve already planned the next meetup for next month. Then a quick stop at the lab to get my repeat blood work done. Hopefully they get it right this time. Then a stop at Starbucks for a mocha hazelnut latte – 2 pumps mocha, 4 pumps hazelnut. I took a solid nap, and then woke up to find my husband had successfully procured our new phones and service. We are now 4 for 4 an iPhone family which I am honestly not handling well at the moment. Nothing against iPhone, it’s just something new. And I am having significant trouble finding things on the phone and seeing the screens to log in to my various necessary apps, it’s just an exercise in extreme frustration. Both my kids have helped me with this, but a lot of it I need to just figure out on my own. It’s a very slow and somewhat painful process with low vision. I’m reassured by iPhone users that it will be worth the switch, so we’ll see. I hope it is.

That is all. You get one big run-on paragraph and I’m off to bed. We’ll talk again tomorrow!

Coffee, Daily Snippets, Driving, Exercise, Family, Friends, Holidays, Kids, Piper, Punky

Daily Post #3 – December 7, 2024

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Long and crazy day. The original plan was for the whole family to go pick out and cut down this year’s Christmas tree. And that was going to be it, a nice relaxing day.

We ended up doing a lot more than that. To start off, a friend texted first thing in the morning inviting me to join her at the gym. I said absolutely yes, since I had missed the day before and had been itching to go back. I got reacquainted with the elliptical – I hadn’t used one in over 15 years, when I was pregnant with my daughter – and learned very quickly that the elliptical is an efficient way to work out the upper leg muscles. OOF! I’ll definitely be coming back to those. Then, with jell-o legs we went over to the 30 minute circuit and got full body strength workouts in. I was so exhausted after but it felt really good to be moving my body again. And, it’s a nice change-up from running, which can get dull at times. We finished at the gym with chair massages and then went for coffee to do some real catching up. It was a fine morning.

L to R: Mike, Luke, Natalie (leading our golden retriever, Punky) walking toward the trees to search for the one we’ll take home.

Once home and showered, I went with Mike and the kids – and Punky! – to pick out our Christmas tree. That was a blast, as always. It’s a nice tradition we’ve kept through the years and I will miss it when it’s gone.

Natalie kneeling in the snow with our golden retriever, Punky.

So with the tree procured and placed in the living room, we decided to head back out for a special mission. My daughter’s cell phone was broken and needing replacement. Since we all have had our phones awhile and are outside of the contract, we figured now we be a good time to shop for new cell phones/plans. So we spent the entire afternoon driving to various service centers, price shopping. We finally settled on one, and tried to get it all set up, but ran into a snafu so we’re hoping to get that completed in the next day or so. Oddly enough, none of us got frustrated with each other during this whole ordeal. We actually just enjoyed hanging out together. I was extremely grateful for that. And!! For a good portion of the outing my daughter drove! She just recently got her learner’s permit so she’s learning. She kind of hates it, it really stresses her out, but I think she’s doing a great job and will hate it less as she gets more practice.

All in all, it was a pretty incredible day and I’m so thankful for my friends and family, and thankful to have a warm bed to come home to. I’ll be sleeping well tonight.

Bible Study Fellowship, Decluttering, Domestic Engineer, Food, Friends

What’s cooking?

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I am not the best at cooking. I’ve never enjoyed it, and that has always deterred me from trying. I think for most, cooking is a learned skill that rarely comes naturally. You get better with practice. However, I do like to bake, and I do like to make food for people if it makes them happy. Food = love, right?

I recently attended a weekend retreat with the women in my church, and I brought a pan of homemade rice krispie treats. I love rice krispie treats, and homemade are not only the best tasting, they are fairly simple and quick to make. And they are gluten free! Which made the handful of ladies from my church who are strictly gluten free, very happy.

But also, I’ve been on a weird kick lately of trying new things in my kitchen. It started when I saw a recipe for homemade granola. I eat granola pretty regularly, but I really shudder at the price of it in the stores. So when I saw that I had all the ingredients for this recipe, I jumped at the chance. And you know what? It was so easy, so delicious, and plentiful! I am going to save so much money on granola.

That got me thinking… if I can save money by making my own granola, maybe I can save on making my own yogurt too? My all-in-one Ninja cooker has a yogurt function, and I’ve always been a bit curious. So I tried that out too. Only the recipe I found used the dehydrate function, but it worked just the same. I learned about straining yogurt, and am now the proud owner of cheesecloth. I’m 46 and I’m still building my homemaker arsenal.

Which leads me to another thing that’s been on my mind lately – decluttering. Maybe it is time to get rid of that 25 year old crockpot? I’ve been watching new episodes of Hoarders on Hulu, and while watching the show doesn’t result in me getting much done in my house, it does keep my mind on the topic. I need to be ruthless about getting rid of the things I never use. Really. Because having to sort through drawers and piles to find what I need is not fun, and often deters me from starting joyful projects in the first place. So that’s going on my goal list for the next season. Tossing stuff.

So, while I’m over here being Miss Susie Homemaker it’s been a nice distraction from the mess that was our Presidential election. Woah baby. I was conflicted going into it, and am grieved coming out of it. I’m just hearing so many of my friends and loved ones who are hurting and scared. I think most of us could admit we didn’t have great options to choose from, so there are people on both sides who are conflicted. And then there are people like myself, who don’t really align much with either side and just want to see our country healed from all the fighting.

We are studying the book of Revelation in BSF this year, and this book was so timely for this election season. I’m blown away at how much it relates, especially given the fact that it’s an international study, not limited to the U.S. I sit in my discussion group each week with people of many colors, backgrounds, and faith histories, and I am encouraged. Encouraged that we can all come together in agreement that God still has dominion over all. We have hope in our Creator that one day He will make all things new. No more division, no more hate. And we can trust Him in all things. Time and time again He has used crummy situations to grow and teach people, and He will do it again. Because His character is one of a good and redemptive God and that fact will never change.

So I guess this post took a turn for the serious, and I apologize if that was too much for you. Go grab a cup of coffee and do some coloring. Take good care of yourself and then go out and help someone else. It will do your heart good, I promise.

Books, Coffee, Disability, Domestic Engineer, Exercise, Faith, Family, Food, Friends, God speaks, Health, Kids, Marriage, Stories

My very brief “75 Hard” journey and what I learned

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I don’t know if any of you have heard of “75 Hard” but it’s this bazonkers challenge that some guy made up a few years ago, and it seems to have quite the following.

The challenge is this: For 75 consecutive days you must complete the following tasks:
1) Drink one gallon of water
2) Follow a diet of your choosing, no cheat days!
3) Read 10 pages of a nonfiction book
4) Complete two non-consecutive 45-minute workouts, 1 of which must be outdoors
5) Take a progress picture

If you miss any of the tasks even once, you have to start all over again on Day One. Oof.

A good friend of mine completed this challenge a couple years ago, and she is now working the challenge once again. When she did it the first time, I seriously gave it some thought but never did anything with it. This second time I felt compelled to hop on and give it a shot.

Now a couple of these things were easy for me. I have been intermittent fasting since March of 2023 so following a diet wasn’t a big deal. I would just be more intentional about sticking with my chosen eating and fasting “windows”. No problem.

Reading 10 pages of nonfiction? I’m a huge reader, and 90% of what I enjoy reading is nonfiction. Again, no problem.

Taking a progress picture is a simple enough task, and thankfully no one would have to see it but me, so the trick was just to remember to do it. Easy peasy.

It’s the gallon of water and 2 daily exercises that were the real challenge for me. I don’t mind drinking water, but I prefer coffee, and that doesn’t count. So I just had to be intentional about sipping from and refilling my water bottle throughout the day. I even bought myself a larger bottle (half gallon) so I would only need to refill once during the day. However, since I had just been coming off training for the Sleeping Bear half marathon, I was already in the habit of daily hydrating so this wasn’t a huge deal.

For the exercising I was doing an outdoor walk and indoor Fitbod workout each day. That was going very well, and with all the water I was drinking, my muscles were recovering well every day. I would feel a bit of soreness but it never stuck around for long. I was feeling really good!

Y’all, I lasted 8 days. That 9th day I had a super busy day morning to night. Doctor appointment for me, orthodontist for both kids, and having to use paratransit to get everywhere means every trip takes awhile and has zero flexibility. But that wasn’t what killed the challenge for me. I had been out of town the weekend prior and the day before I came back, my husband left for a 3 day work trip. So on that bonkers day with all the appointments, that evening I just wanted to spend time with my husband. I had to make a decision – stay home and complete my workouts (because all the appointments prevented me from getting them done earlier) or ride with my husband to take our daughter to her horse riding lesson. I chose the latter, ending my 75 Hard challenge streak, and I have no regrets.

I may try again some other time, but I don’t know. I strongly felt like God had been leading me to that challenge, so I had to really ponder why. I think He was trying to show me how much my daily life had been lacking in discipline. And while 75 Hard was very much an all or nothing thing, installing discipline into your life doesn’t have to be that way. The key is to be intentional. So now I’ve been thinking a lot more about how I can maintain that intentionality but in a way that fits with my impairments and my daily life. I’m being humbled here. I need to cut out a lot of things in my life for awhile that were distracting me. I would spend hours on Facebook or Netflix or the stupid coloring app on my phone, and before I knew it, I had lost most of the day. Since I’m not working, I don’t have anyone telling me what or when things need to be done. I am the boss of my life, and I had been doing a shoddy job of it.

So I decided to make my own list:
1) Read 10 pages of a book
2) Exercise for 30 minutes
3) Drink a half gallon of water
4) Pray/study the Bible for 30 minutes
5) Write for 30 minutes

The times listed are just minimums of course. I just list them that way so I have measurable goals. I found a habit tracking app so I can keep the list in front of me and check things off as I go. It will be satisfying to see streaks of habits, but I’m allowing myself the ability to skip days if necessary. Some days my body and mind need rest, and I’m going to honor that. But I’m working really hard to not slip back into bad habits. While binging on Netflix seems like it would be restful, it’s really not. And it’s discouraging when you come off of a session of 6 episodes of Reba and realize you’ve lost your whole day, and you still need to put away that laundry you washed last Tuesday, and you have no idea what you are going to feed your people for dinner.

So yeah. I’m working on some healthy habits. I was gonna say “new” healthy habits, but then caught myself. These are not new. I’m working on some healthy habits – again. And I should say, it feels pretty damn good.

Moving forward!