Lately I have found myself saying that I feel like I’m that shy 1st grader, newly transplanted to a new town, new school, new kids to befriend. I am certainly not that shy girl anymore. If this whole plunge into deafness and visual impairment has taught me anything, it’s how to talk to new people (doctors, nurses, receptionists, etc.). But still that 1st grader rears her frizzy toothless head every now and then. I’m slowly making new friends here in this new town, in this new neighborhood, but not all that gracefully. I feel like I’m stumbling and tripping as I do it. It makes for awkward moments, but either no one notices or they are comforted to learn they are not alone. I just hope it’s the latter.
What do you think? Am I too old to be feeling this way? Does it matter?
Category Archives: Daily Snippets
Can we talk about my coffee maker?
Did I mention my husband bought me a Keurig for Christmas? He did. A red one! And it was such a surprise. He also bought me a new set of knives, but that wasn’t so much a secret because he bought it with our shared Amazon Prime account and I get all the notifications. But I digress. I have a Keurig, and I am loving it just as much as I thought I would. It was one of those things you drool over at other people’s houses, but figure you probably wouldn’t love it as much as you think you would, and just chalk the drooling up to good old fashioned envy. Which is why I never went out and bought one for myself.
But don’t you know? I DO love it! Well, as much as you can “love” an inanimate object. When people say they love their Keurigs, you figure it’s just that shiny new car smell that will eventually wear off. And maybe it is, but I’m really enjoying this single cup brewer. And with the reusable K-cup my son bought for me (at the hubby’s suggestion of course), I’m not even spending more money on K-cups or worrying about polluting the planet with the one-time use, non-recyclable cups. Nope. I grind my coffee beans, and fill my own k-cups, and it makes one delicious cup of coffee at a time. So I’m finding that I’m actually drinking less coffee! Quality over quantity, folks. That, and I can switch it up. If it’s too late in the day for leaded, I can brew a cup of decaf. If I’m more in the mood for tea, I can make that. I can even make hot cocoa for the kids. It’s a win all around.
So, I realize it’s only been 3 weeks which is not nearly enough time for the new car smell to wear off, but I really don’t see it happening any time soon. It’s a really wonderful gift. I heart you, red Keurig. Now go make me a cup of coffee 🙂
One is silver and the other’s gold
There’s a song that my daughter sings in Girl Scouts that I remember singing when I was a Brownie Scout in elementary school.
Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver and the other’s gold.
I’m sure there’s more to it, but that’s all I remember. It’s ok though, that short bit holds all the meaning I need.
I have several dear friends who I’ve known for a long time. Decades even. These dear friends are women who I know I can always call when I need them, and even when I don’t. Sometimes it’s just fun to chat. These are the friends who came through for me and my family during our darkest days, and they helped shoulder the burden of our most challenging struggles. Every day I am thankful for these friends.
Then there are the newer friends, most whom I’ve met post disability and deafness. They only know the newer version, yet my disability is not an issue. It’s just a characteristic, and a minor one at that. These are friends from my support groups, from our new neighborhood, and from our new home town. These new friendships are both scary and exciting (I keep saying I feel like I’m the new kid in grade school all over again). These friends are people I’m really enjoying spending time with and getting to know better. Every day I am thankful for these friends.
Silver and gold, I’ve got em all. In abundance even! But most importantly, I am learning from all of them how to be a good friend. Learnin’ from the best 🙂
Buh-bye you crazy clown
I finished reading that art of tidying book. It was a library book so if I’m going to follow her plan I’ll have to do it from memory or find the resources elsewhere. I suppose it doesn’t really matter, because I only plan to follow it loosely anyway.
Following it loosely means I’ll declutter when I get the inkling and have the energy. What that means is that when I come across something I forgot I had that does not – to use her terminology – “spark joy” I will quickly discard of it and happily move on with my life.
For example, tonight I said goodbye to that clown blanket I mentioned on Tuesday, along with a quilt I was given after volunteering at a children’s grief camp (the dog ripped it months ago, and I don’t fix things sooo, you know). I’ve included a picture of the clown blanket below. (One of my best friends has a serious clown phobia, so… my sincere apologies Tracy!). My grandma was in a clown ministry so I think that’s why she made these blankets. It kind of looks like he’s waving goodbye, doesn’t it? You bet I waved right back, with the same silly smile even.
Today was a good day.
Permission to purge
“To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.”
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Kondo, Marie
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KK0PICK
I am loving loving loving this book and what it is teaching me. I am gaining some really fresh insight about what things to keep, what to discard, and why. I have done a great deal of de-cluttering around the house that turned out making our move to this new home much easier. I started the purging process long before we even knew we would be moving, but I’m so glad I did. The packing and unpacking would have been a major cluster****. However, I am still frustrated on a fairly regular basis as I come across things that lack a home and/or take up space. But this woman who has mastered the art I strive for has given a beautiful explanation for my frustration. Why am I so irritated? Because these things don’t bring me joy. They have served their purpose and it’s okay to let them go.
It’s okay! Goodbye to the labelmaker that no longer connects to my computer. I made plenty of labels with it. I can say goodbye to that tailored green jacket. I wore it when it fit post-pregnancy and I don’t plan to be that heavy again. I can even say goodbye to the clown afghan my grandmother crocheted for me when I was a little girl. I enjoyed it, loved it nearly to pieces, but it’s time to let it go. The memories will remain. Ah, this is such a freeing feeling for me. I can discard things and forget about feeling guilty. I can’t wait to get to it.
But for now, I’m honestly still recovering from having the kids home for Christmas break, so I’m tired. And it’s flipping cold, so that doesn’t help. My legs are not cooperating, because the extreme temperatures and MS do not get along. So well just have to table this discussion for later. Such is my life, and we keep moving on. Walk on, my friends, walk on.
Hot booties n stuff
And just like that, a week went by with no writing. I was super fatigued last week, but I received my Tysabri infusion for MS on Friday and I’m already feeling better. I have big plans to catch up and regroup starting tomorrow. And bonus! Since the kids are on winter break they can help keep me on my toes, so to speak.
Speaking of my toes, this cold weather seems especially troublesome for them this year. When my feet get even a smidge chilly, it causes severe nerve pain that radiates from my toes to my upper calves. Makes walking frustrating, but not impossible. I rest a lot. Wear many pairs of socks. Sometimes wear the microwavable Hot Booties my mom sent me last year. I’m getting a lot of crocheting done as an unexpected upside! 🙂
Share this funny moment with me
I was letting the dog out. Or in, I can’t remember which. But I had apparently been standing too close to the door, the one which tends to close on its own, and when I turned around to step away, I found myself stuck to the door. It had quite literally reached out and grabbed a hold of my belt loop.
Thankfully I had a friend there to capture the moment 😉
Conversations in my head
Me #1: “Crap. I forgot the salt and pepper.”
Me #2: “That’s ok, you’ve got red onion. And cheeeeese.”
Me #1: “It’s good, but that does not make it ok. I’ll just have to try again tomorrow.”
Me #2: Whatever. This omelet is delicious!”
I’m on a little omelet kick lately. I wonder how long it will last?
Notes under the door
When I have my cochlear implants on I can hear and understand a good majority of things, but when they are off I hear nothing. It’s true I had lost the majority of my hearing before I was implanted, but the surgeries removed what small level of hearing I had left. It’s just one of the very slight downsides to getting cochlear implants, no sweat. But what that means is that I am 100% deaf when I’m not wearing the earpieces, which is mainly when I’m sleeping and showering.
My kids understand this new reality and have adapted. If they wake in the middle of the night and need their mom, they use sign language. If that’s not sufficient, they get an earpiece and battery from my charger on the nightstand and hand it to me to put on.
And as you can see from the photo, when I’m in the shower and they want to tell me they are going outside to play with a neighbor, they leave a note under the bathroom door!
Kids who live with a deaf parent learn to be creative. My kids are so smart and resilient and I couldn’t be prouder!
One day at a time doesn’t always work
You’ve heard people say it, “just take it one day at a time”. It’s a way to give reassurance when life overwhelms you. And generally, I would say it helps, to break big things into smaller things.
But not always. I hate to admit it, but MS fatigue really kicks my butt sometimes. This past week or so has been yet another of those times. I struggle. Not only with keeping up with my routines caring for the house and feeding the family, but also with the most basic of self-care tasks like making a sandwich or taking a shower. It’s just utterly draining.
So here is what I decided to do with today: rather than one enormous day at a time, I took it 15 itty bitty minutes at a time. I just set a timer and when time was up, I examined how I was feeling. Some times I felt good enough to go another 15, and other times I determined I needed to rest – but only for the allotted 15 minutes.
You know what? It worked well! It helped keep me from retreating into a slump or getting distracted and losing track of time. And best of all, I stayed to feel useful again, in spite of the fatigue.
Little M.S. Runner 