I decided this morning that I want to do a daily post and see how long I can keep it up. Just a recap, no editing or fussing over wording or details, just stream of consciousness, talk about my day, and call it good.
So, day 1 here, December 5, 2024 started off around midnight, 1 am, waking up with a migraine. I took various pain medications throughout the night and eventually it was calmed enough to let me sleep. Hubby putting pressure on my forehead and holding my hand didn’t hurt either. I tend to get very panicky when I get these migraines, so if nothing else his gentle presence kept me from spiraling into a panic attack.
When I woke up in the morning (kids had a snow day so I was able to sleep in a little) I still had the shadow of the migraine so I took a 600 mg Motrin so that I could be comfortable for my infusion later in the morning. I had also had night sweats, which I found interesting. I haven’t had a migraine or night sweats in some time so it makes me wonder why they made a reappearance on the same night. Oh well. Onward.
I got my infusion and had zero issues with the IV – yay! – so that was a relief. I had some issues with my pickup ride running late due to the roads, but the ride home went fine and I survived it all. I’ve been having frustrations with Spec-tran because they are short on drivers and the people scheduling their routes clearly don’t know how to read a map, so getting anywhere on time can be a gamble. I’m still so thankful for that service, but I also still really miss being able to drive myself places.
This next update is long, so settle in:
About a month or so ago I met with a woman from Michigan’s Bureau of Services for Blind People (BSBP) to talk about training for using a white cane, and various other O&M (orientation and mobility) training. This is new information, y’all. I’ve considered using a white cane, off and on, for as long as I’ve had low vision, and I just decided it was finally time. The majority of the time I’m out and about I do fine, but there are the handful of times where I’m out in public, in unfamiliar places, and I feel completely unsafe. Super anxious. And when I realized how much anxiety I was feeling so often, I determined that maybe I could do something about it. I’ll be honest, I was absolutely conflicted about the idea of using a cane, because it can draw a certain attention to myself (mainly fawning, which I loathe), but in the end, after much prayer and pondering, I decided to take that step. So I met with a woman from the BSBP and we are working on getting me approved for services. After talking with her for a good length of time, I was so encouraged at all the ways they can help. Ways that I didn’t even realize I could use the help. Ways I’ve adapted over time, muscled my way through, and now I’m just tired. So tired.
I have a white cane that a friend gave me to use several years ago. She is blind herself and this was one she no longer used. We are around the same height so she figured it would suit me well. And it absolutely does, but I still need proper training. I did watch some YouTube videos to learn what I could, and I’m comfortable using it, but I know training is still needed in order to get the most benefit out of it.
You guys, it’s a game changer! I took it with me on a women’s retreat and used it while we were shopping in downtown Saugatuck. Outdoor walking, lots of cracks and bumps on the sidewalk. But with the cane informing me of what was to come, I was able to walk with my head up, not staring down just past my feet. I was even able to engage in conversation with the other women and that was probably my favorite part.
I had to make it fun, so I named the cane. Casey. Casey Cane. And she is now my companion for special outings. I take her to the gym with me and she is very useful for riding the bus. When I’m holding Casey, the bus driver doesn’t rush to leave. They actually wait until I’m seated before they start moving the bus again. It’s wonderful!
Another benefit to having Casey is that when walking in crowded areas, people aren’t expecting me to get out of their way if they are walking towards me. I’ve been in busy areas before where people nearly plowed through me, and it’s quite scary because I really can’t see them coming until they are very close.
The problem with my disability is that I look completely fine to strangers. In society, we have unspoken expectations on others. So it helps that they can see Casey and know that it means I can’t see well and likely need more space and time. I have said before it would be so much easier if I just had a sign on my shirt that says, “Deaf/Blind” much like the running vest I wear. So rather than wear a bright orange Deaf/Blind vest on outings, I’m going with something a little less obnoxious, a white cane.
Oh, and the best part? ZERO people have made a fuss over it. No fawning, whatsoever. They just carry on like it’s been there all along. I absolutely love it.
Since this is just a daily recap, I’ll finish off with the dish I prepared for dinner. Chicken and broccoli alfredo. I used a rotisserie chicken, and it was my first time breaking down a chicken, so I was pretty nervous about that. Since I couldn’t really see what I was doing it was all done by feel. I felt like I did okay, but one of my husband’s first bites was a piece of gristle or bone or something. Ack! That just ruins the whole dish you know? But my portion was tasty, so hopefully that was the only piece I missed. I made the alfredo sauce from scratch because it’s super easy, and storebought alfredo is crap. Overall I thought it was a yummy dish, and my son agreed, so I’ll keep the recipe for a repeat down the road and hopefully I can do better with the chicken next time. I put notes on how it went in my recipe app (Plan to Eat), because I know I’ll forget this information.
And that’s all for my recap. I’m pretty spent from the day and looking forward to tomorrow. I have to get some lab work done because they ordered the wrong test on a crucial item last time. But I’ll leave you there because I can talk about that in tomorrow’s daily update. How about that? Good night, and we’ll talk tomorrow!
