Deafness, Dreams, Hearing Loss, Miracles do happen, Music

I guess R.E.M. is still my favorite band

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I had several vivid dreams last night and all of them were filled with the music of R.E.M., which is ironic and weird but also really awesome because I was able to hear and enjoy the music with working, human ears. In one dream I was actually chatting with Michael Stipe so that was an added bonus. He was his strange self but also very laid back and easy to talk to. Which was nice because even in my dreams I suffer from a little social anxiety. Ha!

Those types of dreams are so refreshing and a blessing to my heart. I consider them a gift from God and I am thankful for them. I’ve been deaf for a solid five years now but I will never lose my love for music.

Cochlear implant, Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

2018 Squirt Gun 5k Fun Run

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I ran a 5k last night with my friend and neighbor, Theresa. We had talked awhile ago about running a Color Run together, but it didn’t look like they had one coming back to our town. So I found us another fun run, on what I thought would be an easy course. It was set on a local high school’s cross country course, so I suppose I should have known. It was fine, really, just an added challenge. Everyone got their own squirt gun, and there were stations along the course where you could fill up, or get shot at, or both. I was all about squirting the little kids at first, but after the first half mile or so I just wanted to focus on running.

This was a different run for me because it wasn’t on pavement, and I wasn’t wearing my cochlear implants (they aren’t waterproof). So running deaf and on uneven terrain (that I couldn’t always see) proved to be quite the challenge. However, it was great having Theresa running right next to me, to alert me to upcoming obstacles and steer me in the right direction. Towards the end, as my legs were growing rather tired and we were making our way through the woods, I tripped on a fairly large root (or something) and Theresa caught me just before my face hit the ground. It was a very impressive catch! It was kind of scary for me though, not because of the falling, but because of the way my right leg responded to the falling. In the past I’ve been able to catch my balance, but this time my right leg – my “good” leg – completely gave out on me. Theresa had to lift me up to standing and then help me move my right leg to a stable standing position, and then after a minute or so I felt ready enough to get back into the motion of running. Of course I was still unsure of my footing and really not trusting either one of my legs, so Theresa kept a good hold on me as we continued the race.

I’m still sort of replaying the whole experience in my head in slow motion. I have been working really hard to be able to run this 10k in October and I don’t want this experience to keep me from that. I want to use this as a learning experience and maybe a reminder of how important it is to get my legs as strong as possible. I can’t know for sure if this body will allow me to run 6.2 miles in a row but I’m gonna keep pushing the boundaries and let it tell me when it can’t go any further.

Sidenote: On the way home, Theresa suggested stopping for a beer, so we ended the night with a cold glass of Guinness each! I think I’ve found another kindred spirit 🙂

Daily Snippets

It’s always a good time to nap.

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Well, I haven’t hit the wall just yet. I did some lifting this morning at CrossFit, and then spent the rest of the morning doing bookkeeping, i.e. paying bills for our family and the church. And now it’s 2 pm and I’m zonked. My son read my post yesterday and he votes for the option to rest, so I might do that. And then get back to the things. Early afternoon is a perfect time for napping, wouldn’t you say?

Daily Snippets, Disability, Faith, Friends, Funny story, Kids, Running

Running out of gas

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I think this week I’ve been approaching a wall. Lately I’ve been doing really well, energy wise, but this week I’ve noticed myself dragging quite a bit more. I am not the Energizer Bunny. Monday I slept until 11:11. That’s about 4 hours later than usual. Every day I debate whether to push myself or to take the hint and rest. I feel like I’ve found an okay balance between the two options, but I still have that nagging feeling that I need a major reset. Each night I go to bed hoping that night’s sleep will be the reset button. Maybe tonight! We’ll see.

Oh! I’m running a fun 5k on Friday night. It’s not chip timed, so it’s not exactly competitive. However, everyone will have squirt guns so it should be fun. I’m a smidge nervous because I won’t be able to wear my cochlear implants, but I’ll be running with a friend so I’ll have her to keep an eye out for me in case anyone is shouting at me to move aside or something.

I’m still seeing a counselor for my anxiety and she’s still really helping me. I don’t go as frequently now but I still have her suggestions to take with me throughout each day, and I’m constantly analyzing my inner thoughts to retrace how I got to each state of anxiety, and that’s actually really helping. I tell myself a lot of lies, apparently. So it’s good to be working that out. I’m taking every thought captive, just like that Bible verse in 2 Corinthians. Make each thought obedient to Christ, as in make sure it’s truth!

I am making a LOT of new friends at our church, and that’s been exciting. It’s nerve-wracking at first, because it feels scary to put myself out there and introduce myself to new people who didn’t know me prior to my hearing and vision loss. It doesn’t help that I keep introducing myself to people I’ve already met. The handful of people I’ve done that with don’t seem to mind. They just smile, shake my hand and say “we’ve already met, but that’s ok!” I’m leading a Financial Peace University class in September so I’ll have even more opportunities to re-introduce myself to people! Keeps life interesting, I guess.

Summer is half over, I know, but I’m just now getting the hang of it, I believe. We have a couple trips planned in the next month or so, stuff the kids can look forward to, but with enough down time in between to recover from all the fun we’ll be having. And then before you know it the kids will be back in school. Our son is starting middle school this year so he’ll be on an earlier schedule than his sister. He’ll have to be at the bus stop by 6:30, so we’ll have to get him used to waking up super early. I have been joking with him that he’s on his own here, that no way I’m getting up that early, but we all know I am too much of a control freak to let him fly without any supervision. So I’ll have to start getting used to being up early, if only to supervise for awhile.

Well, I have CrossFit in the morning so I need to sign off for now. Good night bloggy people!

Cochlear implant, Hearing Loss, Music

Fingernails on a chalkboard

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“Like fingernails on a chalkboard”… this phrase dates me, I suppose. They don’t use chalkboards anymore, do they? But if you know the phrase, you’ll understand when I say that listening to most music now, with my cochlear implants, is an experience much like listening to someone scraping their fingernails on a chalkboard. It’s just that unpleasant. But I still, after five years, desperately miss music. So I’ve been trying to visit different genres than what I was used to, in hopes that something might bring me the same joy. What I’ve found so far that sounds good to me is plain piano music, drums, some hip-hop, and techno. Anything with a lot of different instruments or voices or a combination of both is just too much for my processors to handle. However, if it’s a familiar song and I can pick out the melody, it’s tolerable and somewhat enjoyable. So a lot of R.E.M. songs are still enjoyable to me and invoke good memories. They have been a favorite of mine since high school when I first heard the “Out of Time” album, and though many songs on the album are too grinding to listen to, just as many are pleasant and bring back happy memories. Actually, I could say that about several of their albums.

And then ironically, one band I used to hate actually sounds better to me now, and that’s the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Weird phenomenon, I know. I still stubbornly refuse to like them.

I’m loving the Pandora app for helping me branch out and find new music. If I hear a song that I really like, I’ll start up a station using that as a base, and it introduces me to all kinds of new, yet similar, songs. Current example (now playing): I find many of The White Stripes songs work well for my processors. They use clean beats that don’t get muddled around with the vocals, from what I can tell. Also Daft Punk, Stanton Warriors, DJ Krush. These are artists I have never heard of, and that probably most of my friends have never heard of, but that doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s music and it sounds good to me and brings me joy. That’s why God gave us music, right? I like to believe that’s why, anyway.

Books, Daily Snippets, Funny story

Reading in my sleep

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I read most of my books on the Kindle app because i can change the coloring so that its easier to see. Sometimes I’ll check out a large print book at the library, just because I miss holding a real book, turning the pages as I go. Swiping left on a screen just isn’t the same, you know?

Last night, as I do most nights, I read from my Kindle in bed. This morning I slept so hard I slept through two alarms and missed my chance to run before the heat of the sun showed up. So I slept pretty hard. I must have been pretty tired. Want to know how I know? I opened up my book just now and the bookmark was in a totally different chapter, far past where I remember reading. So I guess I did quite a bit of reading in my sleep last night.

I’ll be swiping right for awhile, until I find a familiar page…

Daily Snippets, Family, Photos, Piper

Piper gets a bath

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The kids kept telling me that Piper needs a bath, so we made that happen! Since it was super hot out, and Mike already had the hose out, we thought it would be a good idea to just hose her down in the backyard. She wasn’t sure at first what was happening but she settled into it fairly quickly. I don’t know if you can tell in this photo, but she’s smiling big. With a ball in her mouth.

Daily Snippets

A new woman

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I am sure I never mentioned that my phone had been dying for quite some time. I have loads of patience so I let it go longer than probably most people would have. However, my husband noticed my frustration, logged my complaints, and surprised me by ordering a new one!! I am now the elated owner of a Samsung Galaxy Note 5, which is two generations up from what I was using. Yes, it’s still an older version but I don’t care, folks. Its new to me and it works and that’s all that matters. A bonus is that it has more visual accessibility features so everything is easier to read. High contrast, large print, color management. And it’s in all the programs, not just a select few. I am one happy lady right here. My daily productivity is going to go through the roof, and I won’t know what to do with myself! I might have to reinstall Farmville just to keep myself busy 😉

Daily Snippets, Disability, Domestic Engineer, Food, Housekeeping, Multiple Sclerosis, Nonsense

Another random, lame update

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It’s Wednesday. I had a great visit with my neurologist this morning. It was nice to be able to tell her about all of the positive changes I’ve been making and my lack of MS symptoms. However, I did bring up my concerns with brain fog. A friend shared a really great article the other day about this, and it very eloquently listed what people with chronic illness experience. Sadly, it’s not just limited to people with MS. I am walking great, I have no fatigue, no pain (unless you count the occasional headache), and I’m overall feeling really fantastic. However, every day, throughout the days, I have issues with short term memory loss and cognitive function. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked up the stairs and forgotten why I was there. I will often use a wrong word or name when talking with people, and not realize it. Sometimes even, I’ll forget what I’m talking about mid-sentence. And friends and family will encourage me that this is just a normal part of aging and that they experience it too. Which is nice, and appreciated for sure, but I really don’t believe that they experience this phenomenon with the frequency I do. So I told my neurologist about this and she said it may or not be MS, but there are ways to check, starting with testing my blood to see if some of my levels are out of whack. If that’s the case, I suppose it’s a simple fix with supplements. If not, there is always the option of memory testing and exercises. I had no idea that sort of thing existed, so it gave me some hope that this is a problem that has been addressed by the medical community, and I’m not coming in with some sort of weird cognitive mystery.

In other news, I slacked on laundry for one measly day and it magically piled up and threatened to take over my bedroom. I folded (and put away!) five loads of laundry today and now I would love to nap but I need to stay awake so I can answer questions for my grocery shopper, and then be up when she delivers my groceries. I LOVE grocery delivery, people. Love it.

So I think I’m going to make a glass of sweet tea and read a book or do some crocheting while I wait.

Family, Food, Housekeeping, Running

What’s Going On?!?!

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So, sooo much you guys. It feels like it’s all going a little too fast for me and I can’t believe I’m keeping up. Am I keeping up? I guess I am. I mean, I’m still here, aren’t I? Let’s break this down for my right brain, okay?

  1. The son is in baseball. The hubby is coaching the baseball. Sometimes the girls go and watch. I love the game of baseball. I used to really love watching. I’m learning to enjoy it differently now. I can’t see the plays, but I can share in the cheering and I get to converse with the other parents when I ask what happened, or who did what on the field.
  2. The girl was in a dance. Ballet, to be more specific. She performed in a recital and she nailed it. She was stunning and graceful and she brought some people to tears. And when I picked her up afterwards she ran to me, beaming with pride. I had not seen that level of joy coming from her in quite awhile. It was truly magical.
  3. And then she got sick. She woke up the next day with a super high temperature, that just wouldn’t go away. We took her to the doctor, received a semi-firm diagnosis and a prescription for antibiotics, and now it’s just the waiting game. She has little energy which is fine because her body needs the rest in order to heal and fight, and I’m happy to be waiting on her hand and foot. Because after all, she will always be my baby girl.
  4. I’ve been running. A lot. And apparently I’m becoming one who loves to run. Seriously. I woke up this morning at 5:30, couldn’t fall back asleep. All I could think about was getting outside and running while the sun rose. So guess what? I did! And it was wonderful. A bit of a chill still left in the air, birds chirping to greet the day, and the sunrise. Oh how I love a good sunrise. It was a really great way to start the day.
  5. I’m still seeing a therapist. I tried to get out of going by pretending all was fine already, but she reminded me of a few comments I had made that made it pretty clear I could still use the help. The depression is gone, and I am grateful for that. The anxiety, however, is a bit more challenging. Challenging, but not impossible to overcome. The therapist is giving me tools and I’m using them, and it’s helping. I still think everyone should see a therapist at least once in their life. It’s just been extremely USEFUL.
  6. I’ve been working at developing daily habits. Intentionally. As in, deciding what I want to be sure to do every day, and then keeping track to be sure I’m doing it. There are so many awesome apps for my phone for stuff like this, it took a few days to decide on just one. My list of daily habits is currently: taking medicine, devotional, prayer, meditation, exercise, and laundry. Because laundry always needs to be done, but in taking a different approach to it, I find I dread it less. It’s just become something I do every day, so it doesn’t build up, and if I miss a day, I just pick up the next day where I left off. This seems so trivial to be blogging about laundry but it feels like a huge victory in my little world, so there. I’m trying to work this mindshift magic with vacuuming but it hasn’t quite worked yet.
  7. I’m doing a lot of crocheting. I finished an afghan for my oldest nephew and started one for my oldest niece. I’m going to make one for each of the nieces and nephews, oldest to youngest. There are twelve total, assuming my youngest sister is done having babies. So, one down, eleven to go. The blanket I make is a very relaxing pattern and works up really nice. I just hope the cousins appreciate having something warm and cozy and handmade with love by their Aunt Mindy.
  8. Food. I still eat it, I just don’t think about it constantly. I think this is a positive development for me. I’m finding so many other things to focus my time and energy on, and in between I eat yummy food. So there. Life is good.

Deaf and half-blind runner with multiple sclerosis