This week was a struggle. For reals. Not only was it my highest fatigue week, but I had appointments all week: neurology, therapy, infusion, and BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). The BSF was really the only one I was looking forward to, but with my fatigue being at such a high level, it was hard to enjoy. Can I just be really honest here? I have begun to forget why I signed up for this marathon. I’m so over it. Sure, it will be rewarding. I’ll be so glad I did it. No regrets. But I’m ready to get this thing done. So with that attitude, I was able to squeeze in some training.
Looking back, I don’t know how I managed to do this, but on Thursday afternoon – after I got home from my Tysabri infusion – I ran 2.5 miles to the local medical lab to get some blood work done, and then on the walk back home I swung by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Marathon training, disability style. Who says running is just for the young and healthy? This is tenacity at its finest, folks. Two workouts in one day. I got ‘er done.
Friday I rested, and then Saturday I ran some more. This photo on the right here is of a place I pass on my long runs. I never think to take a picture, but as I’m winding down my marathon training, it seemed like a good idea. This is a helicopter that was used during the Vietnam war and reminds me to be thankful I live in a country where I am free to run. God bless America.
So, since I’m officially tapering in preparation for race day, Saturday’s long run was “only” 12 miles. It’s a bit surreal, still, that ten years ago I was barely walking. And now I’m what? A runner? Able to casually run 12 miles and still be smiling at the end? To be up the next day NOT feeling sore and near-death? I’m fascinated with what the human body is capable of accomplishing. Fascinated that with slow and steady progression, it learns to handle hours of pounding on pavement. I am also astonished at the healing that has happened in my toes, ankle, and knees. And, I think most of all my heart. Oh, my heart. I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I am ready to kick this marathon’s ass.
This week I traveled a total of 17.32 miles on my feet. Total marathon training miles, including the half marathon, is now 477.46. Three weeks until race day! I’m at the point of the process where I’m struggling to remember why I signed up for this, so I put a picture of myself running a race from last year on my phone’s lock screen. In the photo I’m sporting my bright orange deaf/blind vest so it’s a great reminder of my “why”. Why do I run? Put simply, because I CAN. Also, I could go on and on about how we can do hard things, and one of these weeks I might still do that, but for today we’re just going to leave it right here. I run because I can. Because God gave me the strength and led me to this place, and I’m going to honor Him by not giving up. He sustains me, truly. In life, and in running. All of it.
I realize all I’ve been posting are training updates. I do. I realize marathon training is challenging and can consume your life. It’s clear that’s what has happened here, but I’m comforted that the race is less than 5 weeks away and then I can rest again and resume focus on other things. But also, it’s only 5 weeks away and I don’t know if I’m going to be ready. Which I think is probably true of anyone training for a race this big. I just have to trust that what I’ve been doing is enough on race day. And where it might not be, I can make up for it with that inner grit and grace I keep tucked away for emergencies. My only goal this time is to finish faster than the first one, and I do think I’m poised to make that happen. (Because the first one was laughably SLOW, but I finished!) I’m learning so much about my body and my endurance through this training process. So without further delay, here’s this week’s recap…
Sunday – I can’t count the 6 miles I ran on Sunday because I was viewing them as “make-up” miles from the day before and already included them in last week’s totals. Whatever.
Monday – this was a gym day and I got a really good workout for my legs with the weight machines. Seated leg press, leg & calf extensions, seated leg curl, hip adduction, glutes, and a little bit of arm weights (I did not look to see what the machine was called, but it was much like rowing a boat.) This time I was able to get a ride home from the hubby since it was Labor Day and he was home from work.
Tuesday – Rest.
Wednesday – My original plan was to run on the treadmill for 90 minutes but I was having abdominal cramping, lots of GI issues, so that sort of stole my day. I did manage to walk 1.6 miles at dusk, however, so that was nice.
Thursday – I took a 2 hour morning nap and the rest of the day listened to running podcasts for motivation. I hesitate in sharing this because it isn’t in the training plan, but I think it’s important to note that sometimes you have to listen to your body when it tells you it needs the rest. I’m just afraid my body’s ultimate intention is to keep me from running this race. And running podcasts do help to motivate and educate me, so I don’t believe this was a day wasted.
Friday – This was the big day. The weather was perfect for a long run of 22 miles and I went to bed the night before fully prepared. I had my hydration pack cleaned and filled, I had my gu’s and gels in the pockets of my backpack, and all my clothes and other gear were laid out. I left around 7:30 am, just after the kids left for school. It was misty and overcast and around 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Perfect! I was having so much fun on this run. I had listened to an interview with Martinus Evans, a back of the pack supporter, and he was recommending that we run our training runs slow, and he described it as “sexy pace” which I thought was hilarious. So every time I would notice I was speeding up too much I would say to myself, “Sexy pace, Mel, sexy pace.”
I think I must have been taking the sexy pace too seriously, swinging my hips too hard maybe, because at 7.5 miles that sharp pain in my right knee appeared, fierce and unrelenting. I had decided that day not to run with my knee strap, but I had packed it so I put that on, hoping it would relieve the pain. It did not. I sat down and called my sister, a veteran runner, and asked for her advice. She encouraged me to try walking, and at least that would be time on my feet, but ultimately listen to my body. I walked for another 1.5 miles, and the pain was coming and going, but never going for very long. At 9 miles I stopped and decided I was done for the day. I made a few calls and the first lucky person to answer was my husband, who graciously left work to take me home.
I took the above photo just before I decided to call it quits. I was walking, still in pain, and so happy to see that red house because it meant the public park I had been anxious to reach was just on the other side. I don’t know if you can see the red house, but it’s to the left of the two white houses. The park on the other side is the hub of our city’s local trails and I was really looking forward to running around the lake there.
Once I got home I ate some lunch and got to taking care of my knee. I put on my compression knee brace and kept that leg elevated as much as possible. Going up and down the stairs of our two-story home was painful and slow. I sat in bed, researching what I could possibly do to make this better and avoid it happening in the future. I came across some discussion about the run-walk-run method that I use, and discovered I really wasn’t doing it right. My intervals were running for 4 minutes, walking for one. But according to Jeff Galloway, the perfecter of this method, I shouldn’t be talking walk breaks longer than 30 seconds. And based on my pace and fitness level, I needed to look at a much shorter running interval. I read a comment from another runner who said she runs 60 seconds, walks 30, and that is what has kept her from her knee pain, so I thought “why not give that a shot?”. I changed the settings on my running watch and resolved to try it, once the knee pain was gone, of course.
And do you know what? I woke up the next day with zero pain. Not in my knee or anywhere else for that matter. It was no small miracle, if you ask me. So, I decided to get out and run again. I didn’t know if I could make up the 13 miles I was short the day before, but I wanted to see how the shorter intervals would work for me, and I would pay attention to what my body was doing. I stayed around the neighborhood this time, in case the whole plan went sideways. I could not believe what a difference the shorter intervals made. Before I knew it, I had knocked out 7 miles and felt like I still had a lot of gas in the tank. I would have gone for more but the temperature was rising and I didn’t want to push it. Plus on that 7th mile I thought I felt a whisper from my knee telling me it needed a break.
Now, I’ll be honest. I’m still pretty freaked out about how far I’ve had to stray from my training plan. I feel strong, yet I still have doubts I’ll be ready for this marathon in *gulp* 34 days. Even though I’ve been running for seven years it still feels new to me. I have learned so much but there is still so much more to learn. I guess you could say my faith was in the training plan, and now I’m having to redirect the source of my faith. Sure, ultimately my faith is in God, but I am a pragmatic and I have a healthy regard for the physical world and its limitations. Read: my physical limitations. Which, to be fair, are constantly changing and amazing me. I know that God has been the one to empower me to continue building a stronger heart, stronger legs, stronger lungs. I still remember needing to use a walker to walk, and I don’t ever want to forget that. Because while I’m trusting in God to keep me going, it’s important to respect where I was and realize that’s always still a possibility. Because M.S. is a permanent part of my life, unfortunately. And if I ever need motivation to keep racing, to keep running, that is it. That is my WHY. I’m doing it now because I CAN, and that may not always be true.
For those of you following along, I ran 17.6 miles this week for a total of 240.29 miles marathon training. Add that to the 193 miles I trained for the half marathon in May and you have a total of 433.29 miles banked for the upcoming race on October 15.
I looked at the weather forecast for the week and rearranged my planned run and gym days to accommodate. I haven’t really been doing this officially, but it took a lot of stress out of the whole process so I think I’ll keep doing it from now on.
Sunday – 1.51 miles, 33 minute walk. It was evening, and I just felt like taking a walk around the neighborhood, and I figure that counts, so we’re throwing it in here.
Monday – 6.04 miles (84 minutes running) I got a late start Monday because of other things going on, I don’t remember. But even at 1 pm it was only 72 degrees which isn’t terrible. It was clear and sunny, beautiful weather. I forgot to wear my knee brace but I had no trouble there! My only issue on this run was pain on top of my left foot (extensor tendon) if I landed too far forward. A midfoot strike felt fine. This was only during the last mile so I think it was caused by normal swelling in my foot, making my shoe too tight (especially with the ankle brace).
Tuesday – Rest!
Me, resting on the deck after a good run. My tank says Grit & Grace
Wednesday – I ran for 70 minutes which turned out to be 5.51 miles. The weather was beautiful again and I had a great pace! I didn’t even feel like I was working hard for it, but I had negative splits, which meant I was getting faster as the miles ticked by. I started out with an average 12:41 minutes per mile and finished with an 11:58 average. This may not seem like fast times for most other runners, but for me this is downright speedy.
My legs, propped up on a chair. Photobomb courtesy of Punky, our golden retriever.
Thursday – I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned in the morning, and had my husband drop me off at the gym afterwards so I could get in a solid leg workout. I had debated taking the bus home afterwards. The closest bus stop is a half mile from our house, so I don’t utilize it much but it’s nice to have the option. Instead, I settled on walking the entire way home with a stop at the pharmacy on the way to pick up a prescription. Altogether, including the walk in and out of the pharmacy lol, it was a 2.63 mile walk.
Friday – Rest.
Saturday – I had planned to get up early to beat the heat and run 6 miles. However, once morning came my body was hollering at me to rest. So I made an executive decision to sleep instead. The rest of the day it was just too hot to run, so I decided I would do the run on Sunday morning instead.
Sunday – Remember I had planned to make up my skipped run in the morning? Well, morning came and I just couldn’t drag myself out of bed in time. I told my husband on the way to church that I had made an executive decision to sleep instead of running and he said, “didn’t you do that yesterday?” Yes, yes I supposed I did. You could say I made a consecutive executive decision, but I wouldn’t try to say that two times fast. (You can try, but it gets tricky).
Most of Sunday I was having trouble moving my legs, and I’m not sure what was up with that but it got better by evening. I knew I needed to stay on track with this plan as much as possible so I had my husband drop me off at the gym and I ran the 6 miles there. It went well, and I felt strong for most of it, but I did have to slow down a bit for the last couple of miles. Also, during the last half mile, I had the extensor tendon pain again on my left foot, so I stopped and took off the brace and loosened the laces on my shoe and that seemed to take care of it. It makes me wonder if I don’t need the ankle brace anymore, so I’ll be playing around with that this coming week.
Gym treadmill summary of my Sunday evening run
It’s encouraging to see how my body is changing and healing throughout this process. I started wearing toe spacers periodically a few weeks ago and I believe that is helping my feet to get stronger for running, which makes a big difference. I wear one while I’m running as well and that seems to help with the turf toe on my right foot. Toes are little things but they are super important. You don’t really realize how important until something goes wrong.
I’m trying to be thankful for this difficult training process and reminding myself that the challenges I’m coming against each week are opportunities to overcome *before* the race, so that by race day I’ll be ready to just enjoy it. I hope anyway. I’ve only trained for a marathon once before and I don’t remember it being this difficult. But it was certainly rewarding, so we’ll keep focusing on that aspect.
Here’s your recap: Weekly miles: 22.69 Half marathon training miles: 193 miles Full marathon training miles: 222.69 Total miles toward the marathon: 415.69 Next week I have a 22 mile long run planned, and it looks like the weather is going to cooperate, so let’s hope my body does too!
This week, again, did not go as planned. But I still made a lot of progress and I’m proud of myself for what I’ve accomplished over all these years of running. Over the past 10 years I’ve gone from barely walking to not only becoming a runner but also running ridiculously long distances. I’ve had to really bring the memories of my major MS relapses to mind in order to motivate myself to keep going, despite being unable to follow the plan to the letter. I tend to forget why I signed up for this marathon, why I committed to all this training. I wonder if I’ll be able to continue, if I’m physically capable. And then I get out there and run and I’m reminded of how strong I’ve become and how important this has become.
So here’s the recap.
Strength training: I did not have a chance to get to the gym for leg workouts, but I managed to get a lot of squats in at home in between scanning old documents. I’m on a decluttering kick since getting my hutch refurbished. Creativity wins!
Run #1: I ran on Monday, just a quick lap around the neighborhood. I went down every cul-de-sac and street, which turns out is a total distance of 2.24 miles. Handy information to have sometimes. When I returned home I hung out with the dogs on the deck, which they love. Our golden retriever, Punky, loves to lick all the salty sweat off my skin! I don’t let her, but she tries. Shown in the photo below, I was trying for a sweaty selfie but she was more interested in licking my face.
Run #2: Timing and weather and me not wanting to get out of bed early enough meant I was back on the treadmill. A planned 75 minutes for a total of 5.02 miles. On my last 10 minutes or so I decided to run through the walk interval. I was feeling strong and anxious to finish. The cool thing was that a song I had just added to my playlist that morning, Run Like a Rebel by The Score, came on just as I started my last interval. It gave me a boost of happy feelings so I finished the run on a good note.
Run #3: Welp. I was gonna run 20 miles. Really didn’t want to. My husband helped talk me up some and gladly offered to drop me off at the gym. I had learned you could change the timing on the treadmills, so I was hoping to run the whole 20 in one session, but found once I got there that you could change the timing, but the max was 99 minutes. Just like my treadmill at home. Oh well, at least they have better displays there. And way more fans blowing cool air.
I started, ran my first 99 minutes. Actually, they allow a five minute cool down, so I just sped the treadmill up and went for an even 100. Took a photo, marked my time, refilled my water bottle, pulled out my protein bar and an extra pack of gummy electrolytes, and started a second session. I started the second session feeling awesome, rocking out to my tunes, and made it 52 minutes. Out of nowhere it was as if a razor blade or sharp piece of plastic had magically appeared in my shoe. I had to stop immediately. For several embarrassing seconds I was wondering what had happened. Then it dawned on me… a blister had popped on the side of my middle toe. See, I’ve been running with my big toe buddy taped to my second toe. That buddy tape rubs against my middle toe. After 10.1 miles, I guess it was too much friction. I went to the locker rooms to inspect the damage, shoved some toilet paper in between my toes to cover the open wound, and walked gingerly back to the treadmill. I tried to walk, then slowly jog, but it was far too painful. After much internal deliberation, I decided I needed to call it quits. I called my husband to come pick me up and resolved to give my toe a break and get the miles in some other time. Again.
This time, however, I wasn’t quite as disappointed about missing the miles. Because I was paying attention to what I was actually able to do. I ran 10 miles Saturday and I still had life in me. I still had energy and strength available to keep running if it hadn’t been for the popped blister. And now I have something new to learn: how to prevent and care for blisters! Which is something I need to know. Because as my sister had shared with me (ironically, just the day before) something she heard on a running podcast: “Didn’t you think your feet were going to hurt?” Yes, yes they will. Deal with it and move on, sister. We’ve got more miles to go.
This week I ran 17.71 miles altogether. I also did a whole lot of squats, some good walking, and pulled a thigh muscle playing Pie Face (I startle way too easily). Total half marathon miles, 193. Full marathon miles, 161.98. Grand total full marathon miles to date: 354.98. We’re still moving forward folks! One step, one punch, one round at a time.
This week was interesting. I feel like I said that last week, but it’s true. They all have a little different flavor from the previous. This first photo you’ll see below is after a happy 5.08 mile run. I ran for a planned 70 minutes, and that’s the distance I ended with, in case those of you who like round numbers are annoyed. This was Tuesday, and I ran into town and turned around at 35 minutes (halfway, if you’re following). This run felt STRONG. I had no trouble with breathing or pain. My knee and ankle braces WORK! They supported my knee and ankle as they were designed to. Not only was I pain-free during the run, but I didn’t have any lingering soreness afterward.
This week I joined a local gym to take advantage of the weight machines so I can build some muscle, in my legs primarily. My son has a membership and he had been encouraging me to go, knowing I had been talking about finding ways to do some strength training to support my running. So instead of running Thursday we went together for Leg Day. I tried out all the machines and I was definitely feeling the burn the next couple of days! I think this is a good thing to incorporate into my training and will help me to increase my endurance without injuring myself. As long as I don’t push myself too hard. There’s a fine balance there, of course.
Then there is the “long run”. Which for this week, was a break from last week, so I only ran 4 miles. Also, I ran it a day early because we were taking the kids out of town for the weekend to do some exploring. Knowing I only needed to complete 4 miles, I pushed the pace a bit with this one, and it felt awesome. Again, I was feeling strong and had no issues. Look at my face though! I don’t even see any sweat. I was definitely feeling good here.
I mentioned that my family was going exploring over the weekend, and I plan to write a full post about it, but I’ll tell you we did a little bit of hiking. More than anticipated, however. I’m glad I wore my knee band, because they would have had to call a park medic to pull me out of the woods. I didn’t think to officially track our hiking, but according to my Garmin step counter, we hiked around 10 miles on Saturday. Yowza! Stay tuned, and I’ll tell you all about that later.
This week I ran a total of 9.08 miles but if you include an estimated 10 miles of hiking (which I am, cuz dammit that counts) that’s 19.08 miles in the books! 140.57 miles for this portion of the training + 193 half marathon training comes to a total 333.47 miles counting towards getting ready for this marathon. Next week’s menu includes strength training, a couple 75 minute runs and a 17 miler. Can she do it, folks? Or will she chicken out and go back to bed? Time will tell. Stay tuned!
Well, this week of training turned out to be quite interesting! I started off with a leisurely walk on Sunday and ended with a whopping 15 mile run on Friday.
My Sunday walk I saw three rabbits, and I got pictures but only one was halfway decent, so that’s what you have below. Along with a picture of yours truly, of course.
This bunny was nice enough to stand still for a photo!
Tuesday and Thursday I ran mostly up the main road and less around the neighborhood, so I didn’t see any more rabbits, but I did run into a neighbor walking with her daughter and her dog, so I stopped to chat for a bit. That was a nice cap to Thursday’s run!
Here’s me after successfully taking photos of the bunnies before they all ran away.
Now let’s talk about the long run. First of all, I had to run on Friday since we had plans on Saturday and Sunday. Secondly, I had planned to run outdoors but at 6 am Friday the forecast showed possible thunderstorms. I did not want to take the risk of getting caught in a storm, so I pivoted to running on the treadmill. I really dislike treadmill running but mostly because I get so hot. So for this run I put a box fan next to the treadmill and that made it a lot more tolerable. This week the long run called for 15 miles. My treadmill automatically resets after 99.99 minutes of activity (remember Y2K??) so I knew I was going to have to break it down into smaller increments, which actually helped mentally as well as logistically. Three sets of 5, no big deal!
It really wasn’t a big deal. I ran a strong and steady pace for most of the run. I listened to The Princess Bride audiobook for the first 10 miles (if you loved the movie, I highly recommend the book) and then listened to my 90s music station on Pandora for the last 5. The farthest distance I have run since training for my first marathon in 2021 is the half marathon, at 13.1 miles. So you can guess that my body really struggled after hitting 13 miles and I really had to fight to keep going for those last two. But, I finished, and I’m happy I did. Now I get two weeks of rest before the next long run, which will be 17 miles. Yikes!
I was so happy to have completed those miles but my body sure took a hit. I think I hadn’t consumed enough calories so I was struggling to get enough protein and carbs back in my system before showering and collapsing on the bed for a good nap. Also, I’m having considerable pain in my right foot, originating from my big toe which I’m confident I sprained during my half marathon training and a brief experiment I had with barefoot running. It only hurt for awhile after that experiment, but I believe 15 miles was sufficient enough to aggravate it again. So I’m doing all the things. Resting, Icing, Compression, Elevation. And praying that it heals quickly so I can continue with my training. If it’s not showing improvement by Monday I may call the doctor and see about getting it looked at. But I’ll cross that bridge when and if I get there.
By the way, it never did storm. I think we got a few sprinkles but no storms after all. I could have run outside, dang it! Oh well, maybe next time.
Almost forgot the mileage… This week I ran 25.11 miles for a subtotal of 97.39 miles since official marathon training started, and when you add it with my half marathon it comes to a whopping 290.39 miles. One. Step. At. A. Time.
Lest you think all I do and think about is running, here I will attempt to talk about something else. I do other things. I fold laundry, cook food occasionally, feed the dogs. Oh, and I read, I crochet, and I write. And nap a lot of the days. That’s all wildly monotonous, but sometimes exciting things creep in. This week the exciting news around here is that I am refinishing my secretary hutch. And when I say I am refinishing, I mean I chose the paint color and drawer handles, and then mostly sat back and watched while my friend did most of the work. She loves this stuff, and she’s a whiz at it. I did help with putting on the first coat of paint, since it would be covered up anyway with a second coat and wouldn’t matter if I messed it up. I have never been great at painting, even before I lost my vision. Now with a limited visual field and atypical color blindness, it’s akin to handing a six year old a paint brush and saying, “just do the best you can!”
Below is an early progress photo. We had started to paint the main unit and saw that it was coming apart in the middle. Which was fine, because it is actually two separate pieces held together by wooden dowels. So taking the top section off turned out to make it much easier to finish the painting.
I’m so excited to see the finished product and get it all loaded up and organized with my office items, but it will be a couple weeks before you’ll see that, since I’ll have to wait until the paint has fully dried and cured before I can put things on and in it. It’s going to be so worth the wait. I’ll be sure to post the before and after photos for y’all so you can see the transformation. It’s going to be magical, for real.
The other project I’m working on (again) is my memoir. This is still something I strongly feel a desire to finish, and I’m making some great baby steps towards that goal. Much of the process (perhaps all of it) is expected to be tedious so I’m not sweating the details and I’m taking my time. One of the things I’ve been struggling with is how to organize all my drafts and notes. A lot of the strategies I would have used in the past won’t work now, because I can’t read normal print, I can’t read on white paper, and I can’t see typical colors or highlighting. So I have had to come up with new strategies that work with my visual impairments, and that’s been frustrating. However, this week I was reminded of an app I use, Evernote, that allows me to move my notes into folders, and I can view it in high contrast and I have all the searching and sorting functionality I could want. So that’s been exciting for me. I’m taking some inspiration from the show “Hoarders”, when they take all the clutter out of the house and move everything to sorting tables before they decide what to put back in the house and where. So I’m moving and sorting my notes into “sorting tables” and feeling positive about the progress. With any luck, by the time I get my hutch back I’ll be ready to do some serious writing!
That’s all for now. I hope you all are having a great week! *Shalom*
Yesterday was a weird day. We had attended our nephew’s wedding the night before, and thoroughly exhausted, I slept in until 10 am. Not to mention, my monthly infusion is coming up on Thursday, so I’m already battling fatigue. Yet, I had a growing urge to purge some things that by early afternoon I was unable to ignore. My bedroom doubles as my office, until the kids are grown and move out. In the corner I have this old secretary hutch that I use as a desk. Until yesterday, the shelves were filled with my favorite books. I haven’t been able to read normal books since I lost my vision in 2013. Ten years ago. At that time, I went through a major purge of our old house and got rid of most of my books. The survivors have been staring at me night and day from this hutch’s shelves. Yesterday I was feeling an overwhelming urge to finally say goodbye.
This turned out to be a lot more difficult than I expected. Grieving has no expiration date.
As I dusted off each book I flipped through the pages, remembering the stories, but it was more than that. These were not literary classics. John Grisham, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Gilda Radner. An eclectic mix, for sure. It wasn’t the stories that I was grieving. It was the life I had pre-disability. Which is not to say I’m ungrateful for my life now. My disabilities have brought surprising blessings, and I am grateful for all of it. But you can feel more than one feeling at a time, it turns out. You can be grateful but also sad.
So that’s what yesterday was. It was a day to feel sad. I finished packing up my books and I repurposed the hutch’s shelving. I cleaned up the mess I had created and once I had everything put in order I laid down on my bed and let myself cry. That sadness had been building all afternoon and I just had to let it out. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to feel those ugly unpleasant feelings. Process, move them through, then move on.
And I did. When I had finished crying I got up, took a deep breath, and started making dinner for my family. So now it’s tomorrow and I’m so happy with my updated office area. It looks fantastic, and it’s a nice clean space now for me to work and write. I look forward to using it every day. My vision loss is permanent, and I don’t believe I’ll ever be 100% done with grieving the loss of it, but I’m thankful that these moments come less and less often, and that I can still wake up and find joy in what I do have. Peace, my friends. Shalom.
Week 2 is a wrap! I forgot to report last week that I had run a total of 12.48 miles, so there you go. This week I had two midweek runs and today’s long run of 11 miles, for a weekly total of 18.47 miles and a grand total of 30.95. We’re not counting the training I did for the half marathon, which is actually kind of relevant so I may go back and tally those miles. It’s important to understand that you don’t typically start a marathon training plan running this many miles. It really depends on your fitness level. This particular plan I’m following, I jumped in at week 8, because I had just completed the Bayshore half marathon and knew it wouldn’t be much of a stretch for me.
I had no issues with my midweek runs, and none with the 11 mile run either. But I’ll talk about my long run anyway, because isn’t that why you’re still here reading? One of the things I’ve really been struggling with is to slow down. All my reading and research from the experts says to train slow. Jeff Galloway says to run at a pace two minutes slower than usual, and that’s been challenging! Its so counter-intuitive, but running slower builds up the same endurance as running faster, but without the added risk of injury. There’s so much science behind this method so I’m doing my best to follow it.
I started this run not really wanting to. My legs in particular needed a lot of warming up, and I needed some encouragement. It was in the first quarter mile that I saw a birdie standing in my path. Then, as I approached, he hopped to a nearby rock, and then another rock, and then a branch, each time looking back at me as if to say “Let’s go! Are you coming? I know you can do this.” And then, a few seconds later, I saw a bunny cross the path right in front of me to hide under a tree. I freaking love bunnies, and we have a lot of them living in our neighborhood. Every time I see one while I’m out running, I smile and thank Jesus for that gift. So that was a nice start to my run, and in moments of boredom along the way, I thought back to my birdie and bunny friends and it helped keep me going.
When I approached 8 miles I was starting to feel fatigued, but my legs still felt strong. When the weather gets hotter, running gets harder so you just have to stay properly hydrated and slow down a bit more. Let go of those expectations and just keep moving. I was equipped with my hydration backpack, so I just kept sipping that at every walk break.
When I had two miles left to go I was really starting to struggle. I had been talking to myself since mile 8, telling myself I could do this, I wasn’t giving up, one step at a time, etc. etc. but after mile 9 my legs were starting to tell me they were done. I trudged along, not discouraged because I knew I was still building endurance no matter how slow I was going. For safety reasons, I walked most of the 11th mile. There was a lot of uneven sidewalk and I knew my legs and feet weren’t going to lift the way they needed to navigate those obstacles. So to avoid tripping and falling, I just walked. And then when I was back on the street with fewer cracks and holes, I ran again. That was reassuring to see how my legs responded to the rest (walking). A little time to rest and they were ready to get back to work!
I’m still enjoying running, especially in the early miles of these long runs, and in the later miles I have ways of keeping myself motivated. I remind myself of how far I’ve come, how much God has blessed me through this running journey. And down the road when the miles are adding up and I’m wanting to quit, I’ll read some inspirational stories and watch some Rocky movies to remind me to never give up.
So. I ran another half marathon. This is the one I was training with a friend for, only she was not able to run the race due to a foot injury. However, she was sending me cheers from home throughout the race and was surely with me in spirit! Also, the race went as well as could be expected. Would you like to hear all about it? Grab a tasty beverage and sit back.
This particular race, Bayshore, has been kind of a dream of mine ever since I heard of its existence. The race offers 3 distances, the 10k (which I ran last year), the half marathon, and the full marathon. The races are located in Traverse City, Michigan, where my dad’s family essentially called home for many years. The small city is located in northern Michigan and is home to the Old Mission Peninsula, which is flanked by the Grand Traverse Bay. My grandfather owned property on the peninsula, on the West Bay, and my cousins and I spent a week every summer there. We have so many great childhood memories from our time “up north”. We ate cherries, we hiked, we swam, we strolled along the shore searching for Petoskey stones. My husband and I honeymooned at the cottage, sharing my childhood memories and making new ones. We’ve had family reunions there. My paternal grandparents are both now buried on the peninsula. The property my grandfather owned was eventually sold and the cottage is now gone, but a big piece of my heart still lives on Old Mission. So when I learned there was a race that actually allows you to run all over the peninsula? Sign me up! I ran the 10k last year, which was satisfying but slightly disappointing because only a small portion of the race I felt like I was ON the peninsula. The half marathon distance starts at the north end of the peninsula and follows the coastline of the east bay all the way south into town. This was the race for me.
Now I want you to understand that racing for me is terrifying at moments. Not being able to see the start from far away, being unfamiliar with the terrain. It’s not like home where I’ve memorized the potholes and cracks in the roads and sidewalks. My anxiety for this race began building several days before the race. But standing in the chute among all the other runners was somewhat calming. I was finally here. And I had trained for this, I was ready to go. Until I realized I was standing near the wrong pace group, among runners way faster than me. Not to worry, I simply shuffled back until I found my people. As I stood there waiting I checked my phone and realized I had lost my Bluetooth connection to my cochlear implants. It’s a good thing because reconnecting involves taking off my hat in order to remove my left cochlear implant, remove the battery, replace the battery to make it “discoverable”, put it back on my ear, put the hat back on, etc. So I’m glad I had that time to make sure I was connected. I rely on my music playlist to keep me going throughout these long runs.
Once I was situated and connected I got back to bouncing around to keep my legs warm and as I’m bouncing I realize there’s a strange stillness all around me. It occurs to me that everyone is looking in the same direction, some with hands on their hearts. Ah! It must be the National Anthem playing. I hope I didn’t do anything disruptive or disrespectful. It wouldn’t be the first time. No worries, carry on Mel.
I wish I could remember more of the details of this race, but I’ll share with you what I do remember. Coming up the first hill, I marveled at the vineyards stretched out on each side of me, and the East Grand Traverse Bay glistening in the morning sun ahead. The road leading me forward, filled with runners. I don’t want to forget that moment. Or later, coming around a curve to an open expanse, my view filled with brilliant blue water on my left and lush green evergreens on my right. I thought about taking a picture there because it was so freaking gorgeous but it wouldn’t have done it any justice, and it would have taken away from my enjoyment of it. I would have wasted the moment fiddling with my phone, most likely unsuccessful anyway.
I continued running, soaking in the atmosphere and the majestic scenery. All the anxiety had disappeared. I was thanking God for this experience. It was incredible. I felt strong. I was at peace. It wasn’t until I was about 6 miles into the race, that I started to really feel the burn and the soreness of my legs. I still felt strong, and my legs were moving well. That’s also about the time I started to see more and more spectators. Kids giving high fives, dogs wondering why all these people are running in the street. Posters lovingly prepared: DIG DEEP – a POWER button – WORST PARADE EVER. I love these races. You think making a poster and standing at the side of the road isn’t a big deal, but it IS. Without the spectators, it’s just a grueling training run. We NEED these people.
Around the 8th mile I was starting to really struggle because the weather had warmed up quite a bit. I decided to take my shirt off during my next walk break but with the deaf/blind vest and the sweat sticking to my shirt, it took longer than I anticipated. So by the time I got reset I was running through an aid station with a gang of onlookers to my comically awkward process. It didn’t matter. There’s no shame among runners, and these people understand and have likely seen it all. In fact, later in the race I was passed by a woman carrying her shoes, running in her socks to the next aid station. You do what you have to do. So it was a bit of a chore to get that shirt off but it was so worth it to lower my temperature a few degrees. It gave me the rejuvenation I needed to keep going.
The last few miles of the race honestly felt like drudgery and I just wanted to be done but those spectators kept me going! The runners were still moving ahead of me and I just kept reminding myself what I came for, and that was to complete this race. And I did! I finished! I set a new personal record for myself, and I did not fall. Though after the finish I was struggling to walk. My left foot knew we had crossed the finish line and just refused to lift, so I hobbled along the fence line until I saw my husband and kids walking up, all smiles. They escorted me to the recovery area and found me a chair and some ice cream. It was an incredible moment, getting to share this accomplishment with my three favorite people in the world. I tear up just reliving it.
This was such a great race. It was so difficult, but I have to accept that reality because I’m signed up to run my 2nd full marathon in October. Yes, yes I did. I swore I wouldn’t run another one but it turns out I lied. I’m glad I already committed to the marathon, because I think I would have chickened out after this race. It was a sobering reminder of how difficult and painful it is to run a lot of miles, but it was also a good reminder of the immense joy I still find in running.
It’s serendipitous that my devotional this morning actually talked about how we can have joy and pain coinciding. We can feel both simultaneously, and that’s an incredibly mysterious fact of life. There will be pain. Expect it. But also we have in us what it takes to keep moving forward and find joy in the midst of it. I am so grateful that God has sustained me as I continue to run. That He has given me the inner strength to keep challenging myself and doing these ridiculous races that both terrify and thrill me.
Isaiah 40:29-31 ESV “He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Deaf and half-blind runner with multiple sclerosis
Little M.S. Runner 