I so badly want to tell you all about this marathon, but it’s 9 days post-race and I am still processing. The mental fatigue is real. I have really struggled to put pen to paper and that is why I decided to just give you this brief update and save the full rundown for another time. So for now I will leave you with this:
This race marked a 10 year anniversary and celebration of how far I’ve come since becoming permanently disabled. I have healed in so many ways mentally, emotionally, and physically over these past 10 years. I didn’t realize it when I signed up for this race, but it has served as a symbol of that healing. Completing this marathon marked a tangible victory representing a thousand little intangible victories that have happened over the past decade. I am truly grateful to all of the family and friends who have supported me through everything. All the difficult moments where I didn’t know if I could stand, literally and figuratively. I would not be here today without them. Drawing from my faith in Jesus Christ and the support from so many others, I was able to complete this second round of marathon training and ultimately, the epic 26.2 mile race at the end.
My husband and kids, and my fabulous cousin and guide runner Zack. I’m in a wheelchair because you get special treatment if you can’t stand up at the finish 😉
Now my only real goal for this second marathon was to beat my first marathon time, which was 6 hours and 59 minutes. I had trained for and run a half marathon at the end of May, so I took that into account when deciding where to jump into a marathon training plan. My official marathon training then began in June and I trained for an additional four and a half months. In that time I ran and walked 306.2 miles for a total time of 76 hours, 17 minutes, and 7 seconds. As for the race itself? I finished my last 26.2 miles in 6 hours, 20 minutes, and 4.8 seconds. And if you are having a difficult time wrapping your head around all that? Now you know why I’m still processing 9 days later. It was so much work and I doubted myself from start to finish, but I stuck with it and I completed my goal. No, I crushed my goal. Obliterated it. I am proud of myself for completing this monumental challenge and I may do it again someday, but for now I’m going to hunker down and rest. An aggravating part of me is really itching for the next big goal but I’m giving myself the time I know I need in order to decompress and recharge.
Thank you for following along with me on this marathon running journey. It has been truly unforgettable. Good night and God bless.
And above we have your girl, Flat Marathon Mel. This is basically what I’ll be wearing tomorrow. Unless I change my mind on the way and switch out accessories. I’m going by the forecast so we’ll see if the weather cooperates. It’s looking to be around 50 degrees and dry. The rule of thumb is to dress for 20 degrees warmer because your body heats up while you’re running. I’ve always followed this rile and it works, but it does feel a little like torture in the beginning when you are standing in the cold feeling drastically underdressed. But I know my body, and I heat up quite a bit, maybe more than 20 degrees, so I believe the tank and shorts should be perfect.
I seem to have forgotten why I signed up for this race so I’ll be spending the rest of the night reminding myself. It’s gonna be fun. It’s gonna be worth it. And God has and will give me the strength to keep going when it gets hard. This race represents all of the ways Jesus has healed me physically, mentally, and emotionally over the past 10 years. This one isn’t about proving i can do it. This one is about enjoying the growth process and celebrating the outcomes. This race for me is about proclaiming victory. We can do hard things when Jesus Christ is our strength.
Lord Jesus, please be with me extra close tonight as I pretend to sleep and tomorrow as I pound the pavement for 6 or 7 hours. May you get all the glory for this one. I couldn’t do it without you.
And also thanks to my cousin Zack, who agreed to be my guide runner without hesitation! He enthusiastically agreed and I’m looking forward to our extended time together. This is such a unique opportunity to share. It’s truly a gift, and I’m excited.
I’m getting ready! Working through my list. This isn’t all of it, but it’s a good portion. I still need to fill my hydration backpack and have hubby drive me to the store to get some protein bars.
Physically I’m feeling ready but a little worried that I haven’t done any walking or running in the last few days. I did walk to the bus stop Tuesday, and I count some of my housework as cross training , so I haven’t been a total slug. I’m packing myself and getting lots of rest too. Eating all the foods. Eggs, bread, fruit smoothies, sweet potatoes, stuff like that. Carb loading is probably my favorite part of this!
I do believe I’m ready to kick some ass ay this race. Not in the sense that I’ll be fast, I’ll still be a back of the pack runner, but I don’t compete with others. I compete internally and I’m confident I’m ready to beat my first marathon time of 6 hours 59 minutes.
Tomorrow we’ll go pick up race packets and then I’ll get another picture for you with the complete set up. Now let’s do this!
Let’s shake it up and start with the stats. This week I traveled a total of 9.51 miles on my feet and my banked marathon training miles are up to 499.2. If I had just gone for another short walk or run I could have hit 500! Oh well. This week.
So I had leg day at the gym on Sunday with my daughter. She’s been joining me at the gym, which has been a nice change. On weekdays we go after she gets home from school, so we have to walk to the bus stop to take the public bus. Unless we feel like walking the 2.5 miles, which on Tuesday we did not. So I counted the distance walking to and from the bus stop (0.7 mile each way) in my weekly miles because, hey, I used my legs so I figure it counts. If you disagree you can take it up with the manager. We were planning to go again to the gym on Thursday, but it was raining and neither of us felt like walking in that, so we skipped that day.
I’ve been doing my long runs on Saturday, but I had planned on volunteering for a local race Saturday morning. Sunday we had plans with family, so I knew that wasn’t going to be an option. So, I made sure to get my long run of 6 miles in on Friday instead. The weather has been cooling down here in Michigan, finally, so I was able to get my run done in the late afternoon, just before dinner time. It was a tad warm, but nothing like the hot summer days. I don’t miss those one bit. I loved this 6 mile run. I keep saying this, but I felt strong. Fast, even. And when I saw my overall average pace at the end, I realized it wasn’t just an illusion. I was speedy, relatively speaking. I’m not fast compared to a lot of other runners, but this was definitely the fastest I’ve been since I first started running. And the best part is that I wasn’t struggling to breathe, my knees weren’t screaming at me, nothing. Zero issues. I was rocking that sexy pace, Martinus!
I am super excited about this race. The taper has been really nice because I feel like it’s also freed up my brain and spirit to start really engaging more with life around me. To really relax body and soul instead of feeling like a running zombie. It’s still a little weird because you feel like if you’re not running, you are possibly losing fitness, but I know that’s not the case. Millions have gone before me in this endeavor and they swear by the taper. So I’m trusting the process. I’ll do some light running this week, maybe some easy strength exercises, and then Saturday we’ll head to the race Expo to pick up my packet. We’ll hopefully meet up with my cousin Zack, who is my guide runner for this race. We were never able to meet up for a training run together but we’ve talked through everything and I’m sure we’ll do just fine. Once I’m home from the Expo I’ll pack all my stuff, lay out Flat Marathon Mel with my clothes and bib so I can start the visualizing – I’ll take a picture to share with y’all – and then I’ll start the sleepless night before the big day!
Would you like to know what’s on my packing list? In no particular order, this is what I bring for a long race (don’t let anyone tell you running is a low maintenance sport, they are either lying or in denial):
Garmin watch
Cell phone
Arm sleeves (look ridiculous but actually quite useful)
Knee strap
Bandana
Hydration vest
Running belt
Clif Bloks (salted watermelon)
Gu Roctane energy gel (sea salt chocolate)
Protein bar (brand undecided but probably Clif)
Hat
Deaf Blind safety vest
Guide vest for Zack
Contact lenses
Shoes (duh)
Socks
Sport bra
Shorts (or pants depending on the forecast)
Tank top (unless it’s below 40 degrees Fahrenheit I’m wearing a tank. The pits need to breathe)
Deodorant
Gold Bond Friction Defense (to prevent inevitable chafing)
I’m a list gal, tried and true. This list may look long and overwhelming, but it actually puts my mind at ease, because this is how I reassure myself I’m not forgetting anything. I loathe being unprepared. I just get so much anxiety thinking what I would possibly do if I went somewhere without the things I “need”. Yes, I’m addressing this with my therapist. It’s fine. I’m fine, everything’s fine!
In 7 days I’m going to be running another f**king marathon!! And it’s going to be amazing and I’m going to have so much fun. And when I cross that finish line I’ll get that medal and my family will be there to shower me with hugs and donuts (wink wink). Stay tuned, folks! It’s gettin’ real!
My visual impairment is unnoticeable to others, usually. And then there are times you are trying to box up your own leftovers and it becomes comically evident that something isn’t right. I was out for breakfast with a friend and had ordered a delicious breakfast burrito. I was only able to eat two-thirds of it because it was enormous. So naturally, I asked the server for a box to take my leftovers home. No problem, he said. Then he quickly came back and set a foil box on the table. Gone are the days where they box up your leftovers for you, which I am a-okay with. However, I struggle a bit with doing it myself. I shoveled my leftover burrito into the box and then felt around, searching for the lid. I asked my friend, where’s the lid? With an amused smile, no doubt holding back a hearty chuckle, she said, “It’s inside the foil. You put your burrito on it. May I?” She says this as she’s motioning toward the box to offer to fix it for me. The lid was a transparent plastic that sat inside the foil box, and I had just placed my food on top of it, believing I was setting it directly on the foil. Thankfully the lid was upside down, so all she had to do was flip it over with the burrito into the foil dish and all was well.
After that slight debacle, the server came back and patiently waited the 38 minutes it took me to read the receipt and pay using the handheld computer thing. Because I am now a slow reader. It takes time for me to locate and properly identify letters and numbers, especially on a white screen. I want to be sure I get it right, especially when I’m authorizing someone to remove money from my bank account.
My visual impairment is both a loss of field of vision and an atypical color blindness, so I can’t really decipher things unless they are bright and highly contrasting colors. I read an article earlier this week that the color blindness is actually a common symptom that comes along with optic neuritis, which is what I have. Optic neuritis is very common with M.S., but it usually resolves after a short time period. In my case, it never did. It showed up in September of 2013 and took up permanent residence in my life. An unwelcome guest that I continually work to make peace with. Being so visually impaired really tries my patience most days, but this morning I was able to laugh at myself. It’s exhausting and utterly ridiculous and sometimes laughing at myself is all I can do. It happens a lot, to be honest. So I’m going to try to remember and share more of the stories here when they happen and hopefully, we can laugh together.
I’m tapering folks. So scaling back on the miles has led my brain to check out a bit on other things. Or something like that. Let’s see, last week was week 17, and my long run was a measly 8 miles! Weekday obligations kept me from some of the shorter runs but I did manage to run on Thursday. I had to pick up another prescription at the pharmacy so I ran there and back for a total of 4.23 miles. When I run errands, I *literally* run errands.
Saturday I would have loved to run my 8 miles early in the day before it got too warm out, but my son was playing in a tennis tournament and I wanted to be there to watch him. It was a lot of fun watching him, but I’ll admit when the sun came out I was growing anxious about completing my 8 miler. I watched his first two matches and then had my husband take me home (the tournament was being held at a local high school) and then returned for the last match. So while the boys were finishing up with tennis, I was out hitting the pavement. I don’t remember much about this run, and I didn’t take notes afterwards, but nothing memorable happened, which is a good thing. No pain, no injuries, no real struggle at all. I’m still feeling strong.
Let me remind you, I’ve never been an athlete. I’ve never been remotely athletic. For many it comes naturally, or so it always seems to me. So this journey into running still really blows my mind. Ten years ago I was using a walker to walk from the couch to the kitchen. Now I’m running 8 miles on a hot day with ease? Little by little, I have become someone who does that. And it’s WEIRD. Because I’m still the same goofy girl inside. I just move a lot differently and am able to say yes to things that would have previously exhausted me. Hallelujah, thank you Jesus.
So week 17 recap is pretty minimal. Total weekly miles were 12.23, bringing my grand total marathon training miles to 489.69. As of today’s posting, The marathon is 10 days away and I am getting excited to slay this beast!
This week was a struggle. For reals. Not only was it my highest fatigue week, but I had appointments all week: neurology, therapy, infusion, and BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). The BSF was really the only one I was looking forward to, but with my fatigue being at such a high level, it was hard to enjoy. Can I just be really honest here? I have begun to forget why I signed up for this marathon. I’m so over it. Sure, it will be rewarding. I’ll be so glad I did it. No regrets. But I’m ready to get this thing done. So with that attitude, I was able to squeeze in some training.
Looking back, I don’t know how I managed to do this, but on Thursday afternoon – after I got home from my Tysabri infusion – I ran 2.5 miles to the local medical lab to get some blood work done, and then on the walk back home I swung by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. Marathon training, disability style. Who says running is just for the young and healthy? This is tenacity at its finest, folks. Two workouts in one day. I got ‘er done.
Friday I rested, and then Saturday I ran some more. This photo on the right here is of a place I pass on my long runs. I never think to take a picture, but as I’m winding down my marathon training, it seemed like a good idea. This is a helicopter that was used during the Vietnam war and reminds me to be thankful I live in a country where I am free to run. God bless America.
So, since I’m officially tapering in preparation for race day, Saturday’s long run was “only” 12 miles. It’s a bit surreal, still, that ten years ago I was barely walking. And now I’m what? A runner? Able to casually run 12 miles and still be smiling at the end? To be up the next day NOT feeling sore and near-death? I’m fascinated with what the human body is capable of accomplishing. Fascinated that with slow and steady progression, it learns to handle hours of pounding on pavement. I am also astonished at the healing that has happened in my toes, ankle, and knees. And, I think most of all my heart. Oh, my heart. I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I am ready to kick this marathon’s ass.
This week I traveled a total of 17.32 miles on my feet. Total marathon training miles, including the half marathon, is now 477.46. Three weeks until race day! I’m at the point of the process where I’m struggling to remember why I signed up for this, so I put a picture of myself running a race from last year on my phone’s lock screen. In the photo I’m sporting my bright orange deaf/blind vest so it’s a great reminder of my “why”. Why do I run? Put simply, because I CAN. Also, I could go on and on about how we can do hard things, and one of these weeks I might still do that, but for today we’re just going to leave it right here. I run because I can. Because God gave me the strength and led me to this place, and I’m going to honor Him by not giving up. He sustains me, truly. In life, and in running. All of it.
It’s Monday. I completed another week of marathon training. I do have a post started in my drafts folder. It has pictures but that’s about it. I’ll get to it, I promise. Last week was a big week! And my race is only 27 days away so the excitement is certainly building for me. However, my Tysabri infusion for M.S. is 3 days away, which means I am in a state of extreme fatigue right now. Mentally and physically. It hit me pretty hard over the weekend, and it was kind of a blessing that I had completed my long run earlier in the week, because I’m not sure if I would have been able to do it otherwise. So I’m hoping to be able to get that marathon update written and posted soon but I just can’t make any promises. I hope you all are healthy and well. Shalom 🙂
So. Last week I had planned to do a long run, but was unable to complete it due to knee pain. However, with a bit of a change to my run-walk intervals I *was* able to run 7 miles two days later. And that’s where this week’s recap begins. Since the 7 miles went so well, I ran a solid 90 minutes on Monday, for a total distance of 6.85 miles. I wore my knee strap and had no trouble at all with the knee. I had a fun discussion with my husband about all this running and he started to suggest that I might need to drop down to the half marathon, but then quickly pivoted because I must have flashed him a dirty look. Because I’m not out of this race yet. Sure, I’ve had some major setbacks, but each one has showed me where I needed to improve and make changes, and I do feel I’m going to be ready on race day.
This was a busy week with meetings and get togethers so I did not have a chance to get to the gym to work on my legs, but I did do a lot of lifting and vacuuming, both at my house and a friend’s, so I think that counts. Work is work, right?
Now. The big hairy deal on my mind was how I was going to make up the prior week’s long run. I had decided I would try for 20 miles instead of 22, and then start my taper. When training for long distance races, you gradually build up your mileage, but then shortly before the race you stop building and drastically lower the mileage so that on race day you are running on fresh, fully recovered legs. Normally a taper for a marathon starts 2-3 weeks before the race. My revised plan would put me at a 4 week taper, but I think that’s better than trying to push myself too hard, too close to the race. (It’s fine, everything’s fine.) I had plans to go away for the weekend with friends, so I needed to get my long run in during the week. Thursday was the only day available, and the weather looked beautiful, so I was really excited to go.
As you can see from the photos above, I was excited to be outside, running with the sunrise, and especially stoked that the bridge under the highway was clear so that I could access ALL the trails. I ran all the way to the county park and then ran back home. Injury free and feeling incredible. I finished in just under 5 hours, which means it’s well within the realm of possibility that I could run this marathon in 6.5 hours, if all goes well. I would be thrilled to do that, but I’m going to try really hard to keep my expectations low on race day. Because my biggest mistake for even the shorter races is getting too excited and starting too fast. When you do that, you spend all your energy too early and have no gas in the tank to finish strong. I want to go slow, an easy and comfortable pace, and enjoy the scenery. Because I’m probably not going to be doing another one of these for a very long time. The training is just too demanding and I’m mentally and physically ready to be done with it.
So this week I *only* had 2 runs, but for a total of 26.85 miles. That brings my marathon specific training total to 267.14, and when added to my half marathon training of 193, we have a grand total of 460.14 miles. These are just digits, folks. I can’t even really comprehend that they are miles I’ve actually spent on my feet. Praise the Lord, thank you Jesus. And in 26 more days I’ll be running 26.2 miles, how about that? Let the taper begin…
I realize all I’ve been posting are training updates. I do. I realize marathon training is challenging and can consume your life. It’s clear that’s what has happened here, but I’m comforted that the race is less than 5 weeks away and then I can rest again and resume focus on other things. But also, it’s only 5 weeks away and I don’t know if I’m going to be ready. Which I think is probably true of anyone training for a race this big. I just have to trust that what I’ve been doing is enough on race day. And where it might not be, I can make up for it with that inner grit and grace I keep tucked away for emergencies. My only goal this time is to finish faster than the first one, and I do think I’m poised to make that happen. (Because the first one was laughably SLOW, but I finished!) I’m learning so much about my body and my endurance through this training process. So without further delay, here’s this week’s recap…
Sunday – I can’t count the 6 miles I ran on Sunday because I was viewing them as “make-up” miles from the day before and already included them in last week’s totals. Whatever.
Monday – this was a gym day and I got a really good workout for my legs with the weight machines. Seated leg press, leg & calf extensions, seated leg curl, hip adduction, glutes, and a little bit of arm weights (I did not look to see what the machine was called, but it was much like rowing a boat.) This time I was able to get a ride home from the hubby since it was Labor Day and he was home from work.
Tuesday – Rest.
Wednesday – My original plan was to run on the treadmill for 90 minutes but I was having abdominal cramping, lots of GI issues, so that sort of stole my day. I did manage to walk 1.6 miles at dusk, however, so that was nice.
Thursday – I took a 2 hour morning nap and the rest of the day listened to running podcasts for motivation. I hesitate in sharing this because it isn’t in the training plan, but I think it’s important to note that sometimes you have to listen to your body when it tells you it needs the rest. I’m just afraid my body’s ultimate intention is to keep me from running this race. And running podcasts do help to motivate and educate me, so I don’t believe this was a day wasted.
Friday – This was the big day. The weather was perfect for a long run of 22 miles and I went to bed the night before fully prepared. I had my hydration pack cleaned and filled, I had my gu’s and gels in the pockets of my backpack, and all my clothes and other gear were laid out. I left around 7:30 am, just after the kids left for school. It was misty and overcast and around 60 degrees Fahrenheit. Perfect! I was having so much fun on this run. I had listened to an interview with Martinus Evans, a back of the pack supporter, and he was recommending that we run our training runs slow, and he described it as “sexy pace” which I thought was hilarious. So every time I would notice I was speeding up too much I would say to myself, “Sexy pace, Mel, sexy pace.”
I think I must have been taking the sexy pace too seriously, swinging my hips too hard maybe, because at 7.5 miles that sharp pain in my right knee appeared, fierce and unrelenting. I had decided that day not to run with my knee strap, but I had packed it so I put that on, hoping it would relieve the pain. It did not. I sat down and called my sister, a veteran runner, and asked for her advice. She encouraged me to try walking, and at least that would be time on my feet, but ultimately listen to my body. I walked for another 1.5 miles, and the pain was coming and going, but never going for very long. At 9 miles I stopped and decided I was done for the day. I made a few calls and the first lucky person to answer was my husband, who graciously left work to take me home.
I took the above photo just before I decided to call it quits. I was walking, still in pain, and so happy to see that red house because it meant the public park I had been anxious to reach was just on the other side. I don’t know if you can see the red house, but it’s to the left of the two white houses. The park on the other side is the hub of our city’s local trails and I was really looking forward to running around the lake there.
Once I got home I ate some lunch and got to taking care of my knee. I put on my compression knee brace and kept that leg elevated as much as possible. Going up and down the stairs of our two-story home was painful and slow. I sat in bed, researching what I could possibly do to make this better and avoid it happening in the future. I came across some discussion about the run-walk-run method that I use, and discovered I really wasn’t doing it right. My intervals were running for 4 minutes, walking for one. But according to Jeff Galloway, the perfecter of this method, I shouldn’t be talking walk breaks longer than 30 seconds. And based on my pace and fitness level, I needed to look at a much shorter running interval. I read a comment from another runner who said she runs 60 seconds, walks 30, and that is what has kept her from her knee pain, so I thought “why not give that a shot?”. I changed the settings on my running watch and resolved to try it, once the knee pain was gone, of course.
And do you know what? I woke up the next day with zero pain. Not in my knee or anywhere else for that matter. It was no small miracle, if you ask me. So, I decided to get out and run again. I didn’t know if I could make up the 13 miles I was short the day before, but I wanted to see how the shorter intervals would work for me, and I would pay attention to what my body was doing. I stayed around the neighborhood this time, in case the whole plan went sideways. I could not believe what a difference the shorter intervals made. Before I knew it, I had knocked out 7 miles and felt like I still had a lot of gas in the tank. I would have gone for more but the temperature was rising and I didn’t want to push it. Plus on that 7th mile I thought I felt a whisper from my knee telling me it needed a break.
Now, I’ll be honest. I’m still pretty freaked out about how far I’ve had to stray from my training plan. I feel strong, yet I still have doubts I’ll be ready for this marathon in *gulp* 34 days. Even though I’ve been running for seven years it still feels new to me. I have learned so much but there is still so much more to learn. I guess you could say my faith was in the training plan, and now I’m having to redirect the source of my faith. Sure, ultimately my faith is in God, but I am a pragmatic and I have a healthy regard for the physical world and its limitations. Read: my physical limitations. Which, to be fair, are constantly changing and amazing me. I know that God has been the one to empower me to continue building a stronger heart, stronger legs, stronger lungs. I still remember needing to use a walker to walk, and I don’t ever want to forget that. Because while I’m trusting in God to keep me going, it’s important to respect where I was and realize that’s always still a possibility. Because M.S. is a permanent part of my life, unfortunately. And if I ever need motivation to keep racing, to keep running, that is it. That is my WHY. I’m doing it now because I CAN, and that may not always be true.
For those of you following along, I ran 17.6 miles this week for a total of 240.29 miles marathon training. Add that to the 193 miles I trained for the half marathon in May and you have a total of 433.29 miles banked for the upcoming race on October 15.
Deaf and half-blind runner with multiple sclerosis
Little M.S. Runner 