My brain is finally letting me sit and truly relax a bit so I have a hot cup of coffee next to me, my laptop, and my cozy blankets. Yes – blankets – plural. Because snuggling up in a recliner with a couple cozy afghans is one of my favorite things about the fall season.

I learned this past week that dairy and I can no longer be friends. I learned it pretty quickly with bacon, and I accepted it graciously and moved on. But dairy has been a little harder. I gave up eating meat and eggs and dairy, all at different times over the years. Over time I have reintroduced things here and there, paying close attention to how my body responds to each food. Eggs seem to be totally fine, which makes me happy because eggs are great. Some meat, as long as I don’t overdo it with quantity, is fine. Almost no effects at all. Bacon, however, wrecks me. Stabbing, crippling pain and a headache that won’t quit. Legit wrecks me and leaves me useless for almost a day. So I don’t even mess around with bacon, and I’m okay with that.

Dairy, however, was the hardest for me to give up, and I admit I’ve been flirting with it a lot the past several months. I’ll snack on some cheese here and there, but nothing serious. Then Thanksgiving came, and with it lots of leftovers from the day’s meal, including a carton of half and half, my formerly favorite coffee additive. Sooo for the last five days I’ve been indulging in coffee with half and half in it. This morning as I rolled out of bed and padded down the stairs to make my morning coffee, it occurred to me that something had changed. I have slowly been sliding back into a state of fatigue. I’m having a harder time waking up, and my legs are heavy. It’s as if my body just doesn’t want to move. Also, my face has been breaking out more than usual, even with my new rosacea treatments. I kid you not, I have a zit right now IN MY EAR LOBE.

I’m blaming all of this on the half and half. And maybe the whipped cream and pumpkin pie. Because nothing else has changed, that I can think of. I’ve been without the debilitating fatigue of M.S. for a blissful long time now, coincidentally ever since I stopped consuming dairy. For it to show up like this so quickly, I believe, is no coincidence. So, I’m dumping out the half and half. It pains me to feel like I’m wasting it, but the alternative is to drink it and keep getting sicker. I think “wasting” it might be the wise decision here.

So you could call this my official break up with dairy. No more of this on-again off-again business. We’re done. I’ll remember fondly all the late night ice cream binges and the burritos covered in melted cheese. We had some good times, but it’s time to part ways. To commemorate this day, I leave you with this haiku:

Dairy, we had fun
Now you make me sick and tired
I must say goodbye