Category Archives: Food

Food

Beer Nuggets

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I have had an aversion to sand and flour for as long as I can remember. I love to bake, so I have always avoided recipes that call for rolling and kneading. If I had to touch the flour with my hands, it was a deal breaker. Drop cookies and batter breads were the lanes I stayed in.

This changed in 2020, after a trip to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula when I stepped into the sand and surprised myself by uttering, “oh, that feels nice”. I know, I was just as shocked as you. Ever since then, I’ve been playing around with recipes that were formerly taboo. Cinnamon rolls, pizza dough, breadsticks, and my latest favorite: calzones.

I made calzones for the family last week, but my pizza dough recipe was more than we needed, so I left it in the fridge to use later. A day later my sister texted me and my husband with a picture of a menu item that strongly resembled a treat she had made for us many years ago: beer nuggets. Now, this wasn’t her invention. This was something my husband had told her about, and she recreated it for us. His stepbrother went to college in Dekalb, Illinois, and this is where they were born (according to a quick internet search I spent no energy in verifying). All I remember is that he would talk about these beer nuggets as if they were the best thing since sliced bread. So when we received this text I started asking if there was a recipe, because as we all know I’m an expert with dough and can make these sorts of things now. Apparently, it’s just deep fried pizza dough. Which I had in my fridge!! Hot diggity dog, we’re having beer nuggets for dinner, folks. No beer required. I think they just call them that because I’m sure in a college town like Dekalb the nuggets were always consumed with beer.

So, lacking only one ingredient for this dish – a crap ton of vegetable oil – I sent the hubster to the store. I filled a pot half-full with the oil and started heating it up while I fashioned my dough into nuggets. Once my oil was up to 350, I started dropping the little guys into the oil and watched them cook. This was so much fun! I wasn’t sure how long to keep them in but I kept watch on the color (what I could see) and followed my gut instinct before pulling one out to check for doneness. The first one was a teensy bit underdone, but no worries, I’ll just leave the rest in a bit longer.

Easy peasy, within minutes I had a dozen beer nuggets hot and ready for consumption. I prepared a simple green salad because seriously, we can’t just eat pizza dough and call that a meal, can we? Warmed up some leftover pizza sauce from calzone night and announced, “Time for dinner!”

These beer nuggets were so easy to make and turned out so delicious, in the following days my brain went down some rabbit holes. What more can I do with this newfound super power? What else can I fry? I’ll be honest, I didn’t have to go far down the rabbit hole to arrive at my next planned adventure: fried donut holes. Stay tuned!!

Books, Exercise, Food, Hobbies, Photos, Running

New Shoes and Push-ups

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Fair warning: Today I’m gonna talk about running. I’m not obsessed or anything. It’s just a hobby I’ve become quite passionate about. Not an obsession. Seriously.

I get emails from our local running store about sales and new items. I recently received a notification that the particular model of running shoe I wear, Saucony Kinvara, were on sale. It had been many years since I had been fitted for shoes so I was more than overdue. Also, one of my current pair of running shoes (I rotate between 2 pair) has well over 300 miles on them and need to be retired.

My tiny left foot.

Now, I have been wearing a size 7.5 normal shoe, and an 8 in running shoes. It’s always good to go up half a size with running shoes because your feet swell. I ran for years in a 7.5 and it caused so many blisters. However, at this trip to the store they sized my feet and it turns out I am now an 8, but only the right foot. The left foot is a 6.5. I took pictures because I couldn’t believe this fact, but it’s true. I went home with a fresh pair of size 8.5 running shoes.

My new shoes, newly laced for maximum comfort

After getting some fresh orthotic inserts to accommodate my pronation, I was good to go. Or so I thought. I went on a long run last weekend and halfway through my run the top of my left foot was feeling some serious pain. Yikes. I’ve experienced this before. I forgot to relace my new shoes. See, there are different methods for lacing your shoes. If your shoes are hurting you – try changing up the lacing. It can make a world of difference. I’ve learned so much about this through trial and error and it’s quite fascinating. I always thought running was a simple sport. Just throw on some sneakers and go. Nope. There is so much more to it. But, I always love the learning, and seeing myself improve with every tweak in my training and gear.

Back in May I was part of a challenge to do 100 push-ups every day. I only joined because my sister said they could be any variation of push-ups in any increment. You could tailor it to fit your fitness level. So I did. I started out the month doing 10 countertop push-ups at a time, 10 times throughout the day. And when that got too easy I increased the number of reps and then moved to a lower surface. I finished the month being able to do 5 sets of 20 push-ups using my fireplace cabinet. When the month ended I vowed to continue the daily habit, and I’m now at 3 sets of 33 at the fireplace. I’m hoping to progress to using the ottoman, and eventually I want to be able to do your traditional on the floor push-ups.

The thing that has amazed me though, is that since doing this daily habit, my run pace has increased significantly, without much increased effort on my part. Also, I can sense that my core is stronger. I notice when I’m walking up and down my stairs that my balance is somewhat better. Now, none of this is concrete. I could just be imagining the improvements. Heck, maybe my Garmin is old and not accurately tracking my speed. I don’t know, but I do think the push-ups are helping in more ways than I had anticipated. And it always feels good to feel stronger.

I have been training for a 10k at the end of this month, and am really hoping to be able to beat my 10k PR that I set in 2020, when I ran a virtual race with my sister. I’ve run several 10ks since, and none of them have been close to catching that time of 1 hour, 18 minutes, so I’m trying to keep my expectations realistic. But I do think this core strengthening with my daily push-ups will help. Fingers crossed!

That is all for now. I still have some books to recap (I think?) and I’m working steadily on writing my memoir, so like I said I’m not obsessed with the running. Just passionate. Reading and writing help to keep me balanced. Oh, and food. I think it’s time for lunch 🙂

Family, Food, Photos, Stories

I made a pizza!

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You guys, I’m so proud of myself. Tonight I made a pizza from scratch. I know that doesn’t sound like a huge deal but for me it kind of is because I’ve been intimidated by any recipe involving yeast and historically have avoided having to touch flour. Cuz flour has always given me the heebie jeebies. Until the spring of 2020, when I had a miraculous moment on the shore of Lake Superior when I stepped into the sand and immediately said, to my utter shock, “this feels nice!” Ever since, sand and flour and sugar no longer bother me.

But back to the pizza. Nothing special, I put ham and onion on half and extra cheese on the other. It could use work, more sauce next time for sure, but the FamSquad agreed it was good and they would eat it again. I was surprised at how easy and inexpensive it was to make and will be sure to add it to our meal rotation. Next to tacos, pizza is my favorite food, so I’m definitely excited that I can whip one up easily whenever I’m craving it!

Look at this, isn’t it pretty?!

My first 100% homemade pizza
Family, Food, Kids, Photos

Milestones (and sweets)

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My son turned 18 on Saturday. Our firstborn, our baby boy. This kid. Not a kid anymore. He’s dressed up in this photo because Saturday was also the night of his senior prom. I got a teensy bit emotional as we watched him drive off to meet his friends. The end of an era, as they say. I wanted to do something really special for his birthday. Traditionally I’ll make a cheesecake because he LOVES cheesecake. But, I had a recipe for copycat Crumbl chocolate chip cookies that I had been wanting to try, so I threw that in as an extra. I spent all day Friday baking, which wore me out of course, but it was worth it. The cookies were an instant hit. The cheesecake had to wait to be enjoyed, so we didn’t dig into that until Sunday, after his official birthday dinner (a family tradition). At the time of this writing, it has been less than 24 hours since we cut into that cake, and it’s almost gone! And here I was worried we wouldn’t eat it all before it went bad.

Copycat Crumbl Cookies – chocolate chip
My world famous cheesecake
Extra creamy, and perfect crust

This age, 18, is a strange one. He vacillates between moments of maturity and goofing off. One minute he’s reviewing his work schedule, and almost in the next breath he’s making jokes about cheesecake for breakfast. I both love and hate that he hasn’t grown up too much yet. I think he feels ready to leave the nest, and I’m sure he’ll do great when he does, but I’m thankful that I still have a little more time yet. Four more days of high school, a quick summer, and then he’ll be off to college.

Happy birthday, Luke. Mom and Dad are so proud of you.

Family, Food, Friends

It was a forking Feast!

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I’m getting ready to go back to bed for a nap but wanted to hop on here real quick to humble brag about a meal I made last weekend. I had bought a pork tenderloin on sale – mostly because it was such a good sale and I couldn’t pass that up. We don’t eat a lot of pork around here because I have never been able to cook it well, so it’s usually dry and tasteless. I have *never* made pork tenderloin so it was completely foreign to me. However, I saw this sale while preparing my grocery order online and did a quick search for what to do with a pork tenderloin, found an easy and tempting recipe for a spice rub, and went ahead and bought the meat.

I also had a bunch of russet potatoes I had leftover from Easter. I had ordered a 5 pound bag, they were out of stock so they gave me a 10 pound bag. I had commented that I didn’t know what I was going to do with all those potatoes. This led to a discussion with my mother-in-law about all the wonderful things you can do with potatoes – au gratin, scalloped, cheesy, etc. – and that conversation was still rolling around in my head a week later.

This is when I had the bright idea to make a Sunday feast for my family. Pork tenderloin with au gratin potatoes. I was so excited! I would prepare the potatoes early so all I would need to do is put them in the oven. I would take my sweet time preparing the tenderloin, trimming the fat and applying the spice rub. It was going to be great.

“But so much food, Mel. So much. And you have picky eaters, they may not like pork and potatoes. Maybe you should invite a friend or two to join you, to help you eat this feast.”

And that is exactly what I did. I invited a few friends over, friends who were safe and kind people who would not mind if the pork and potatoes were terrible and we ended up resorting to frozen burritos instead. But you know what happened? It turned out amazing. Yep. It smelled so good in my house I wished I could have taken a picture, but since that was obviously not possible I was thrilled there were people on their way over to smell it for themselves. And we had a wonderful time. It was informal and relaxed and everyone ate and enjoyed themselves – even my family of picky eaters.

Y’all, I have always had such a low view of myself in this area, of cooking and hosting, this day was a major confidence booster for sure. It was a memorable day and I’m so proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and trying something new. I’ve always marveled at others who get such joy out of feeding other people and now I feel like I’m starting to “get” it. It makes me more eager to keep trying, and I look forward to more feasts. What should I make next?

Domestic Engineer, Family, Food, Stories

Converting Thoughts

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Many years ago I had an epiphany about laundry. All the time, laundry. It always needed to be done and I used to grumble under my breath how much “I hate doing laundry”. And then one day I decided to stop saying that, and to replace it with, “I enjoy having my clothes folded and placed where they belong.” Every time I started to hear myself say I hate to do laundry, I would stop myself and replace it with why I liked it when it was done. I’m sure this bright idea did not just appear out of nowhere, it was probably from a podcast or a book. But it doesn’t matter, wherever it came from, it stuck with me.

Fast forward all these years later and I still have negative statements that need replacing. Cooking, for example. I have always said I hate cooking. I’m not good at it. I’m a terrible cook. But when I think more on it, none of that is really true. I may resemble Amelia Bedelia in the kitchen sometimes, but for the most part I can follow directions and make a decent dish. And I don’t really hate it. I just don’t like being rushed to put meals on the table. So over time, I’ve started trying to look at this differently. I do as much prep work ahead of time so that I don’t have to feel rushed putting a meal together. I take shortcuts when I can (although this is where my inner Amelia Bedelia shows herself). I’m growing more realistic about my energy levels and what I’m capable of doing, and I avoid those tasks that are not for me. And best of all? I thoroughly enjoy eating. Like, way more than I love having my clothes folded and put away. Food is awesome. And when I pull off a delicious dish? That’s just the best reward.

Converting these negative messages into positive ones has been a really slow process but I like what I’m left with. There’s a lot less tension in my shoulders and in my spirit and I sleep well at night. I *think* I’m less irritable around my family and quicker to let things roll off my back. I have courage to try new things, and my family – bless their hearts – are super gracious about it as long as I don’t throw too many new things at them at once.

Last week I had defrosted a bunch of chicken breasts and I divided it up to make stir fry but had two breasts left over so I found a recipe online – with a video! – showing me how easy it was to just season it, bake it, then slice it up to use in salads. So I did it, and it was so delicious I couldn’t believe I had made it. It felt silly but I was proud of myself. Anytime I can make something from scratch I feel like a boss. *Pats self on the back.*

Baking has always been easy for me. Cooking, not so much. Cooking has always been a bit intimidating but the more I succeed at new things the easier it gets. If I keep this up and get really good at it, they won’t just be saying at my funeral, “she made a really delicious cheesecake.” One can hope, anyway!

So I’m working on changing the way I think about my daily tasks, and I really think it’s helping. Waking up with a feeling of dread and overwhelm used to be a daily thing. It’s happening less and less these days. I’m starting to wake up and look at the day as an opportunity with wide open potential. What can I make today? What are the most important things that need to be done? How badly do I want that laundry put away? If it’s bothering me, I do something about it. Otherwise, I let it go.

Take the laundry for instance. No really, take the laundry! Just kidding, I’ll get to it this weekend. It’s been sitting long enough.

Books, Domestic Engineer, Food, Marriage, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

Recovery from fatigue, and running

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I had my monthly infusion today! Also, it’s my 26th wedding anniversary. I was telling my infusion nurse that I should probably be more excited about the latter, but it’s hard to feel like celebrating when you can barely move your legs. So celebration will just have to wait until my energy returns. Thankfully my husband is very understanding, and also not super into these types of annual celebrations anyway. He’s just happy to be able to spend any time with me, and it doesn’t have to be on the exact day. What can I say? We just aren’t romantic people. It works for us.

When I came home from my infusion I considered all the things that need to be done: laundry, cleaning bathrooms, clerical household tasks – told them all they can wait – and then ate a robust and delicious salad and took a solid nap. The weather was beautiful today and I really wanted to go for a run but that has to wait too. Because the effects from the infusion aren’t immediate. I’m hoping I feel up for running tomorrow. Even if it’s at a turtle’s pace, that’s fine because that happens to be my specialty.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading to keep me occupied while dealing with this damn fatigue. I have a really hard time sitting still, so reading makes me feel like I’m “doing” something, even if I’m not always fully comprehending what I’m reading. I finished a couple books this past week and am onto a few more. One of the books was about running – Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor – and I absolutely loved hearing about what goes through her head while training for and running major races. I’m a big fan of all of the female professional runners and have read several others’ memoirs. I was surprised that I actually felt a kinship with Deena as I read her stories of dealing with fatigue and injury. I felt like I’ve learned a lot of those same lessons while dealing with MS, and maybe that’s why I’ve come to love running so much. Even though I’ll never be considered fast, the challenge of running with MS will always drive me. I have a 10k coming up in June that I definitely need to start getting ready for, and I’m hoping to run a half marathon in the fall. Reading Deena’s book brought back my own memories of training, and I realized how much I miss it. I’m just praying that my health and legs can remain stable and allow me to continue.

Deep thoughts, Disability, Domestic Engineer, Dreams, Food, Health, Kids, Marriage, Multiple Sclerosis, Parenting, Running, Stories, Writing

Velvet Hammers

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This morning I was up with the kids getting ready for school, as usual. I even stayed up after they left and worked on some grocery lists for my husband to pick up later in the week. By 10 I was exhausted so I ate a small something and went back to bed. Slept a solid 2 hours. Well, I woke up part way through but was so groggy and my legs felt like cement, so I went back to sleep for a bit longer. I had a dream where I was in an office, chatting with a coworker. She was talking about having been journaling, and how it turned into a blog post. At my request, she shared her blog with me and then I told her how much I missed writing. It was an oddly normal interaction. Usually my dreams are much stranger.

It’s true though. I miss writing. I also miss working, but not in the way I used to. Not anymore with the delusions that I will someday be able to work. Especially not after this latest wave of fatigue. This one hit hard on a Wednesday, eight days before my infusion. Have you ever heard the term, “velvet hammer”? I remember hearing it when I was young. My dad used to use it in reference to the effects of Nyquil. It’s a soft but effective blow that knocks you on your feet and prevents you from getting up. That’s the way fatigue has been acting this past week. It hits, knocks me out for awhile, I sleep, I get up and do necessary things super slowly, and then it hits again. Thankfully it hasn’t been constant, but it’s frustratingly unpredictable. This is a reminder to myself that I cannot hold a job. I can’t be counted on for much. Every commitment is always a maybe with me. My family counts on me for food and clean towels, but not a whole lot more. They can see when I’m fatiguing and hold back on the requests. I’m thankful for that.

We hosted Easter dinner yesterday for my in-laws and I was so grateful to be able to have them in my home and to feed them a delicious meal, but I’m paying for it today. It’s the price of living life.

The thing is, I do recognize I have choices. I could choose to say no to all the social functions, and I sometimes do. I can say no to the dinners with friends and family, weekly prayer and Bible studies and then I would likely not have such debilitating fatigue. But I don’t want to miss out on living my life. I don’t want to miss out on interactions with my friends and family. So if this is the price I have to pay, so be it. I’ll ride this horrific roller coaster and suffer the lows to experience the highs.

An email came through this morning from an MS newsletter asking “what is your biggest hurdle?” Fatigue. Hands down, fatigue is my biggest hurdle. All the other damage MS has caused? Vision loss, hearing loss, cognitive dysfunction. I can deal with that, I can still find a way to be me. The fatigue, however, takes me out of my body and mind and leaves me a shell of who I was. Hate is a strong word but it applies here. I hate what fatigue takes away from me. The ability to do the things I want to do. Care for my family, laugh with my friends, write for my soul. It’s as if I’m in a waking coma. When I was super sick in 2013 and sleeping 20 hours a day? It didn’t really bother me because I wasn’t conscious. It was everyone around me whose hearts were breaking. But with fatigue, I am fully aware that life is happening all around me, and I’m unable to be a part of it. That’s hard, folks.

I realize this post is dark. It definitely took a turn, and I don’t want to bring you down. But this is my blog, after all, so if you can’t deal, feel free to move along. It’s fine. I won’t be hurt. I think I’m just trying to get back to authentic writing and this felt like something worth sharing. From journal to blog. Weird, I know, but it worked for the lady in my dream. The whole point of my blog is to give you a glimpse of my life with M.S. (and running, which is kind of still happening, more on that another time) and the real truth is that I have bad days but I also have good days, and I’ll try to keep talking about both. MS has altered my life 180 degrees from where I thought it would be, but I’ve been able to find joy and strength in so many unexpected ways. So stay tuned, if you dare, and I hope to share more of those things too. Soon. But for now, I might go back for nap #2…

Cochlear implant, Exercise, Family, Food, Health, Kids, Photos, Running, Stories

Goals, and a bit of honesty

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So. For the month of March I had attempted to go without sugar. The processed stuff of course; I did not abstain from eating fruit. Girl needs her fiber, you know? I made it 3 weeks, and here’s why. It really didn’t seem to make that big of a difference! I had been warned that I would go through a brief period of withdrawal, headaches, mood swings, etc. I had none of that. I expected to lose some weight. That didn’t happen either. My conclusion? Maybe I don’t really eat that much sugar. So after 3 weeks of this mild deprivation, I gave up the experiment. And again, nothing really changed. The only thing I really learned is to be more aware of what foods contain added sugars and how much. And I will continue to try and avoid those things as much as possible, but I don’t think I’ll go completely cold turkey again. I love donuts too much.

My new goal, for the month of April, is to complete some sort of exercise every single day. I’m 5 days in, and I’ve only missed one day, but I got right back on track the next day. This missed day was Friday. I just couldn’t will myself to do anything, I was so tired. However, upon reflection I realized the reason I was so tired was because on Thursday I went for a run during the day, and that night I went swing dancing and then to karaoke. So couple a late night with two forms of exercise, and I think I earned that pass for Friday. It’s my game, so I’m going to allow it. Moving on.

Today I ran two miles to the convenience store to buy myself a belated birthday donut (my birthday was in March, the no sugar month, which in hindsight was not very well thought out). While on the way I decided I would also buy donuts for my kids and then just walk the 2 miles back. I did not feel like running while holding a bag of donuts. So I completed 4 miles, half running, half walking. Decent workout. My legs will thank me tomorrow. And the kids were pleasantly surprised about the treats.

So, I need to be real honest here. I went most of the winter without much running. I didn’t do much strength training either. However, I have been slowly starting to get back to the gym for strength training, and I occasionally get out there for a run. Michigan has really been struggling to let spring in, because even when the temps are reasonable, the wind brings them right back down. One, I don’t like wind because my cochlear implants make it extremely loud and that’s just annoying. Two, it’s cold man!! Running helps my body warm up in most places, but my face and fingers and toes still end up chilled to the bone and it just makes me grumpy. It does not make for enjoyable running. Of course, I’m still grateful to be able to run but I seem to remember having more joy with it, and I can’t seem to find that yet. I need a race on my calendar to get excited about. I’m working on it. All my runs have been short, 2-3 miles, and that doesn’t really get me out of my neighborhood. I want to be free! I want to explore the trails! Get me away from the road, I want to run by some people walking their adorable dogs! I’m reminiscing my marathon training days, and longing for that feeling again. Not that I have plans to run another marathon anytime soon. A half, maybe. We’ll see. I definitely want to do more 5ks and 10ks, but only if they involve fun swag. I’ll never win these races, and I can run at home for free, so good swag is a must for me.

So yeah, goals. Limiting sugar and exercising regularly are two things I’ve really been working at to keep myself as healthy as possible. It’s what I’ve gotta do to fight disease progression, and I think it’s going pretty well. Most days I feel pretty good. I still tire super quickly and take a long time to recover, but at least I’m having those moments where I’m able to be more present with the people I love. These are good things. While I’ll never say I’m thankful to have M.S., I’m always grateful for what I’ve learned from the challenges it throws at me every day.

Daily Snippets, Deep thoughts, Exercise, Faith, Food, God speaks, Health, Multiple Sclerosis

Hibernation

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Okay, as I’m reviewing my new list of habits, I’m rethinking one, and that’s daily exercise. Let me explain. I know it’s good for me, I know it helps my energy levels. BUT – when it’s on my list to be done daily, and I don’t do it for whatever reason? I place guilt on myself, and that’s a crummy feeling. When I reviewed my habit list this morning, they all looked positive and worth doing except when it came to “exercise”. I almost cringed at it. Ew. It’s cold outside, my body hurts, and I have so much cleaning and decluttering I need to get done inside my house. And then I started thinking about bears.

Well, not right at first. I started thinking about the cold, and the season of winter, and then the animals that hibernate over the winter. Like bears! Bears hibernate in the winter, right? It’s a fascinating process they go through, and when they are preparing for the long hibernation, after they’ve consumed all the food and water they can find, they become increasingly lethargic and rest for almost 22 hours per day (source: https://bear.org/bear-facts/5-stages-of-activity-and-hibernation/). I’m fascinated by this and found myself going down a bit of a rabbit hole to learn more but that’s not your concern. The point I was coming to is that bears go through a season of hibernation, of excessive rest and that’s just part of their life. They aren’t waking up in the spring and saying to each other, “man, I feel like such a lazy bum, I’ve done absolutely nothing for the last three months.” No, they just get up, stretch their legs, and move on to the next phase.

Now I’m thinking, why can’t that be true for me? I realize that bears do it for very good reason. They don’t live in heated homes or have ways to store food and water for later. It’s a survival mechanism, and it works for them. But I’m also not talking about preparing for 100% hibernation. I’m still human, after all. I’m just saying maybe I need to be kinder on myself, knowing that my body has a much harder time during these colder months, and maybe an extended rest may be good for it? It’s worth a shot, right?

I’m just thinking out loud here so forgive my rambling thoughts. I think what it really comes down to is that I’m trying to be more mindful of how I spend my time each day. I’m trying to be intentional with my minutes, and I’m trying to stay more tuned in to where the Holy Spirit might be leading me. And I feel like He is telling me to give myself a break in this area, at least for a season. It scares me a bit. I wonder if this is just a deeply rooted part of me making elaborate excuses. Or what if I go too long without running or strength training and I never get back to it? And why am I posting this here on the blog? Wouldn’t this be better kept to myself in a personal journal? Maybe. Or maybe someone needs to hear this, that I struggle with creating and keeping good habits, and my thoughts go to weird places like hibernating bears. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just feeling a little bit of courage to let you in on my mental processing today.

The conclusion I’m coming to is that I’m removing daily exercise from my habit list, for this season. I will still try to stay active, in and around my house, but I’m no longer making it a “rule”. When my body says rest, I’ll rest. When it says go slow, I’ll go slow. And if it says move, I believe I’ll be ready to move! Now this mama bear is off to roast some pecans 😉