Category Archives: Family

Daily Snippets, Family, Funny story, Multiple Sclerosis, Photos

Grooming the garden

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Okay, it’s not a garden. I just use that word for alliteration’s sake. The boys are away at a baseball game and the girls opted to stay home. When Natalie asked if she could go next door to help her friend pull weeds, it reminded me that I had been wanting to trim the front bushes. And since it’s evening, and the sun sets on the back of the house, I decided now was a good time. But halfway through she came back over to help me finish up, so I had to get a photo! Cuz that’s a good way to help make the memory stick.

Speaking of memory, and as a sidenote, I met with my neurologist earlier this week. She addressed my concerns and asked if I had anything else to discuss or ask about. I said no. Later that day, it occurred to me that there was one concern I forgot to mention: the fact that I occasionally have trouble with my short term memory. Ha! The irony there, l tell ya. Can’t take me anywhere, is what I say.

Anyhoo, hope y’all are enjoying the summer so far. Stay cool!

Disability, Family, Friends, Multiple Sclerosis

Hot Mess

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85 degree summer heat.

Baseball tournament.

M.S.

Tingly hands debut.

Nerve pain.

Broken A/C freak out.

Sunburn won’t let me cool down.

Feeling helpless.

How does this not bother everyone else the way it does me?

What is wrong with me?

Oh yeah…. M.S.

Crying in the shower, snot running down the drain.

A good night’s sleep tried to help.

Literally dragged my foot to the bathroom the next morning (I did say “tried”).

I sat and waited in the physical therapy office for a half hour before checking in with the receptionist to see what the hold-up was. She was quite obviously unaware of the time of day, and had forgotten to let the therapist know I had arrived. It goes on from there, my bad luck, but I’m tired of hashing it out, those dumb details, so I’ll attempt brevity. I missed my ride, they tried to get me a new one, but I took a ride from a friend instead. Because I didn’t want to risk unleashing my emotions on a complete stranger. I came really close to doing that already at the therapist’s office, after discovering I had missed my originally scheduled ride. My husband reassured me that this was just a minor bump in the road, which I should have already known of course, but he knew I needed to hear it (He still amazes me, coming up with the right thing to say).

This was not my typical Monday. I don’t usually have to be anywhere, or talk to anyone but my family. So it was hard to do in the wake of a rough-on-me weekend. I just didn’t have the tools necessary to cope with minor hiccups like delayed appointments and missed rides. I spouted my frustration on Facebook and received lots of encouragement in return, but I felt a little shameful doing it. Because I like to be the positive one. I guess today I just decided it wasn’t worth the effort. Because it was going to take a lot of effort.

But those positive words helped, and the ride from a friend, and then a good nap in my own bed (with working air conditioning!). The kids were with grandpa for most of the day so my only interruption was the dog barking at who knows what. It was nice. And then I grabbed a beer, turned on some Led Zeppelin, and started chopping vegetables for dinner. I managed to relax. Truly relax.

I have more doctors to see this week and then I start some physical therapy next week. I’d bore you with the physical therapy details if I could remember them. So you’re in luck, cuz I have a terrible memory.

Peace out, readers. I hope you take some time this week to relax. Really, truly relax. It can only do you good.

 

Family, Kids, Photos

Birthday Boy

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The night before my son turned 10, he asked me to take his picture of his last day as a 9 year old, and put it on Facebook. Turns out, he had done the same thing the year before when he was turning 9. I had forgotten all about it, but maybe he hadn’t. Or maybe it’s just a thing with him, that he really enjoys the anticipation of special days like birthdays and holidays. He’s going to be one of those people who grow up to celebrate their birthday all month, simply because they are adults and they CAN. I love birthdays, and I have friends who love birthdays and we all agree that it’s cool to make it as big or as little a thing as you want. Because LIFE, people, we’re celebrating life.

So, speaking of celebration… on the exact day of Luke’s 10th birthday (the day after the above photo was taken) we all went to FunTyme to ride go-karts. Because we had so much fun on Mother’s Day, we figured, why not? Only this time Natalie rode with Dad, so Mom got to fly solo. They made sure I knew where the traffic light was located this time, as well as which position each color was so I would be sure to come in when the light turned red.

Dad beat the pants off all of us, and I was in 2nd place for several laps, until I hit the bump. There’s a decent bump coming over the bridge that I had learned to brace myself for each time. Only I was a second too late on this particular lap and I got jostled pretty good. Jostled so much that my right cochlear earpiece fell off. Well, flew off is probably more accurate. Oh, I was internally freaking, let me assure you. I calmly pulled the kart to the side and stopped, while flagging the operator to come over and help me find the earpiece. It was nowhere near the kart and I was starting to worry that I or someone else had run over it. The second operator came running and helped search the track a little further from where we were standing. He found it right away and held it up with a big smile. At least I imagine he was smiling… I couldn’t see that far, of course. Oh man, I wanted to hug that kid. I realize that the cochlear implant company can easily replace the earpiece, but I have no idea if my warranty covers it, and I didn’t want to have to make that call (with only the left year operational, of course).

Me: Hi, my right earpiece isn’t working.

AB: Can you tell me what’s going on with it?

Me: Well, it won’t stay on my ear anymore, because it’s… uh… sort of smashed to smithereens.

AB: Uh…

The earpiece showed no signs of damage and it worked fine, right off the bat. I was extremely relieved and grateful and we all had a good laugh at my expense. I’m still loving this go-kart thing though, and I think now I’ve got the two most valuable lessons under my belt: 1) know where the lights are and 2) don’t wear your earpieces while driving. The cars are so loud, hearing isn’t so useful to me then anyway.

But back to the birthday celebrations. After the racing, we let Luke hit some balls in the batting cages while Natalie practiced her cartwheels in the grass nearby. After that we all went to Chipotle for some yummy tacos and burritos. None of us had eaten there before, and we were quite pleased. Luke’s favorite restaurant has always been Taco Bell, but someone had told him that Chipotle was like Taco Bell, only better, so of course he had to try it.

Our last stop of the night was for ice cream. Because my son can eat ice cream all day long, and he will if you let him. It’s no coincidence that that’s all I craved when I was pregnant with him. TEN whole years ago. Can’t believe it, my baby boy is ten. Happy birthday, Luke.

Family, Kids, Motherhood, Photos

Best Mother’s Day ever

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I had only asked for one thing on Mother’s Day. Well, it started out as one thing. First I wanted one whole day where I didn’t have to wash dishes or cook. And a day with no fighting or tension. Then I said it would be nice to walk around downtown and stop for pie or ice cream. Oh and wouldn’t it be nice if we could do a little shopping and find that perfect side table I’ve been wanting for the living room? It was starting to feel like I was asking for too much, but I tried to be gracious and easygoing about it. The way I saw it, I was giving them options to choose from.

But no, my husband is such a giver that he managed to fit all that and more into the day! He managed to throw in something I had been wanting to do for a long time now…. drive a go-kart! I don’t get to drive real cars anymore, and I still miss it from time to time. It’s mainly the independence that I miss, but I’m gradually regaining that sense of independence with help from friends and public transportation. But just driving for the sake of driving, that’s something I always loved and still sometimes miss. So being allowed to drive around a figure eight for a few minutes was absolutely exhilarating! I’m requesting we make it a Mother’s Day tradition, since it’s something all four of us can enjoy together. And this year was made especially memorable because I got to go around the track an extra two laps! Mike was explaining to the operator after I blew past the red light the first time, that I was colorblind, and just couldn’t see that the light had changed from green to red. He had no explanation for the second time around though, as he didn’t really want to tell the guy the real story – that I couldn’t even see the lights. Ha! Next time I’ll be sure my passenger is aware of her task of letting me know when it’s time to come in.

After go-karting we came back home and took some serious naps. Then Luke grilled up some brats and we sat out on the deck and ate them along with potato salad and coleslaw. Of course we had to finish a delicious backyard meal with dessert, so afterwards we went for ice cream. I’ll have you know I took a break from counting calories this weekend. I ate a hot fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream, peanut butter, and pecans and it was so yummy I didn’t want it to end. You ever have one of those? Where you literally cherish every bite? That was me yesterday. So good.

When we got back home I napped again while the kids had fun playing ball out back with dad.

Overall it was one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. I love hanging out with my family, and even more so when it’s doing things we ALL enjoy.

We have more festivities coming up this week between Luke’s baseball games starting, his 10th birthday shenanigans, and the 2017 MS Walk. So I have my literal to-do list and then I have the one floating around in my brain, taunting me and stressing me out. I have to figure out what to do about the latter, because it’s all worry over things I can’t control, and I haven’t really mastered the whole letting go thing. One day at a time, I suppose. I’m a planner so often I find myself looking too far into the future and I just need to stop that.

Today is Monday. It’s going to be a good day. Not nearly as good as yesterday, of course, but I can still hold onto those wonderful feelings. Yes, that’s what I’ll do.

Daily Snippets, Family, Food, Friends, Kids, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

Might as well call it the May Update…

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Last month I published ONE blog post, and as it’s already the 10th of May, I guess I’m off to another slow start. Lest you think my silence is a bad sign, I’m poking my head out to let you know all is well. To prove it, I will now proceed with semi-coherent ranting about what I’ve been up to. What fun, yes??

So last Friday we ran another 5k race, my son and I. He absolutely killed his time from the year before, but since he had not really been training for it his recovery was pretty rough. He’s feeling better now, but the weekend he was in rare form, complaining of sore legs, not wanting to move around. I hadn’t done a lot of training either, and my finish time reflected that, but my legs felt okay after so I’m not sorry. I stayed on my feet the entire time and that’s my one true goal when I run, so I’m happy. My daughter ran the one mile race that’s not timed, and her goal was to finish, and girl, did she finish. She cramped up a little towards the end, but she was determined to not give up, and we are super proud of her for that. Both my kids are serious fighters.

I’ve been filling my weeks judiciously with shopping trips with friends, playing fetch with the dog, and going to various doctor appointments. I saw a dermatologist (Did I blog about that? I seem to remember) and discovered I do not have acne, but rosacea. Which was still possibly triggered by my round of steroids, but treated much differently. I’m also seeing my primary doctor soon in regards to what I’m calling “significant” joint pain in my right hip and knee. I suspect it’s just my osteoarthritis acting up and hoping it’s nothing more serious. We shall see.

I decided back in November to stop eating meat. It’s going fairly well, and I do feel better. I still eat some fish and some beef (the ground beef we buy from a local farmer) but only when other options aren’t readily available. I don’t have a great explanation for the change, other than the fact that I really, really love vegetables and grains and I’m disgusted by what I’ve read about the way meat is processed in this country. So my appetite for foods I used to love is pretty much gone. Like last night, I made chili dogs for the family and I totally thought I was going to eat one too. But then I just couldn’t do it. So I made myself a spinach salad, and it was delicious.

Also, somewhere between November and April I realized I had gotten a little too uptight about food, and it was spilling out onto my family members. I’m not sure how to correct that really, but I’m trying to loosen up. Geesh, that’s the story of my life, trying to loosen up. I’ll get there, eventually. Won’t I?

My son is turning 10 in one week, and he is beyond excited. I remember turning 10… double digits was a big deal. He is just as excited, and we will be throwing him a party right here at the house. I’m a little nervous about the dog, and the noise, but I think we’ll get through it. Just praying for good weather so they can all play outside for most of it. My only major responsibility for this party is making a cheesecake, which I can do days in advance and I love that. Piling too many responsibilities into one day doesn’t work very well for me, so I love when I can spread things out throughout the week.

We have an MS Walk coming up here in May, and I’m excited for that as well. I haven’t participated in one since just after I was diagnosed 7 years ago. I had decided this was a good year to get back on that wagon and pull my friends and family together to show me some support. Selfish? Maybe, but I’m not sorry. This girl is learning to step out a little and ask for the things she wants. And I want a gang of people I love walking with me on a beautiful morning in May.

I think that’s enough rambling for now, don’t you think? I pray you all have a blessed Wednesday and are able to soak in some sunshine!

Cochlear implant, Daily Snippets, Family, Kids, Photos

Accidental game night?

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The children both happen to be grounded from screens tonight, and when they got bored with pretending not to be jumproping in the living room – oh the temptations children must overcome – I suggested they play a board game. They seemed genuinely pleased with my suggestion and ran downstairs to pick one out. Checkers, it is!

They are playing nicely while I watch from my cozy recliner, coffee and crochet in hand(s). This feels so nice and peaceful I might have to make it a regular, mandated activity around here!

Disability, Family, Kids, Motherhood, Multiple Sclerosis, Visually Impaired

One big whiny post

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Um… This week is starting out kind of rough. First of all, my monthly infusion is due, which means the last batch in my system is running out, which means I’m fatigued. I don’t know why it does this to me, because it certainly doesn’t flood me with energy when I get the infusion, but there’s no denying it. And knowing it’s coming doesn’t make it any easier. It still sucks, every time. It’s disruptive and discouraging and a constant reminder that yes, I am still disabled. The fatigue is debilitating, and there’s not much I can do to fight it. This angers me.

Also, I’ve been feeling lately, and especially yesterday, that my vision has grown worse. It’s so subtle that it’s hard to say for sure, but yesterday I was absolutely sure that the fog in my field of vision has closed in a bit more. This angers me too, and scares the effing poop out of me. I fear losing all my vision, I fear not being able to see my family’s smiling faces or the sun rising in the morning. There are so many beautiful things to see in this world and I don’t want to miss out on seeing any of them. 

So we are working on getting in to see my Neuro Ophthalmologist, and in the meantime I am trying ro enjoy what I still have and holding fast to my faith in Christ. He brought me through my darkest times and I don’t expect him to leave anytime soon.

The problem with all this, of course, is that life around here doesn’t stop to cater to my issues. The people still need to eat, laundry still needs to be washed, and the dog still needs oodles of attention. Last night my daughter spent the evening puking her guts out, and I was happy to clean up after her. Because I’ve got a tough gut and I can’t see the puke anyway. They point to where it lands, I take care of it. Cuz I’m still the mom, after all. And I’m thankful to still be able to be here for my kids, even with MS.

Some days (nay, weeks) I just don’t have the energy to be cheery in spite of the mess. This is one of those weeks. And it’s only Tuesday! Pray for my survival, would you please?

Deep thoughts, Family, God speaks, Holidays, Kids, Memories, Miracles do happen

The light in the darkness

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It’s Christmas Eve, and we’re all ready for Christmas morning with the kids. Breakfast fixings are ready in the fridge, gifts are surrounding the tree.
We went to church tonight and were reminded that Jesus came to be a light in the darkness. Then we drove around looking at Christmas lights, a tradition we’ve been doing since before the kids were even born.
And do you know, my 9 year old son made the connection between the sermon at church (which I thought he was sleeping through) and the decorative lights everyone puts up at Christmas? I don’t know for certain the origin of Christmas lights, but I think my son might be on to something. The lights we put up at Christmas are a representation, a reminder, that Jesus is the light in the darkness. That just blew my mind, to hear something so wise coming from his mouth. I was pretty impressed. And for sure, I will remember that connection and from now on our annual tradition of driving around looking at lights will hold much greater meaning for me.
Merry Christmas, and may you find the light in the darkness.
Family, Holidays, Memories
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I remember when we were kids (back before the internet) when you would take the Toys R Us ad and circle all the things you wanted for Christmas? Times have changed. Now my kids make lists – very specific lists – or they guide me through finding the exact items on Amazon. “Google it Mom, it’s a real thing. Just pull it up on your phone.” he says, of the bungee chair he wants for Christmas. It’s true, it’s a real thing.

I don’t remember every Christmas in great detail, but there are a few I can recall fondly. I remember the year I got a Cabbage Patch doll. When I woke up Christmas morning and looked under the tree, I knew it was there because they came in these distinctly shaped boxes. So unless you repackaged it, it was a dead giveaway. My best Christmas memories though are the times spent with my family. Waking up to Christmas breakfast, running around my Grandma’s house with all my cousins, knealing around the Christmas tree with my brother and sister. Just being together. That was the biggest gift. And I hope those are the memories our kids hold onto as well. Because that’s the stuff that lasts. Everything else wears out, fades away.

Of course Christmas is not all about the presents. We now, as parents, love to give gifts to our kids, and every year we manage to go a little bit overboard. Hopefully we are not creating spoiled children by doing so. Christmas is the celebration of Christ’s birth, so we think a lot about God this time of year, when we maybe wouldn’t have otherwise. And I believe God is the biggest gift giver. He loves to give us good things the same way we love to give our kids good things. And maybe He runs the risk of spoiling us, but He does it anyway, doesn’t He? As much as the commercialization of this holiday busts my buttons (lol), I can reconcile it in my spirit by remembering who we are modeling our lives after. It may sound pathetic, but I do feel that by giving to others – our kids, our extended family, friends, neighbors, etc. – we are modeling a bit of Jesus’ character. He gave His life, the ultimate gift. So would it be wrong to say we are honoring Him by giving to others? Maybe? Maybe. I don’t know…

 

 

Daily Snippets, Family, Food, Holidays

Pre-Thanksgiving Prep

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So Thanksgiving is almost here. We host, so that means we have a certain level of preparing that needs to be done. I keep it at a low level though, cuz I fail miserably at hosting if it try too hard.  We roast the turkey, we make the mashed potatoes, the corn, the stuffing, and everybody else brings the rest. I don’t decorate, though I do have a fall themed tablecloth I hope to remember to bring out for the occasion. I don’t even clean the house beyond what I do normally. Anything to minimize my stress and anxiety is worth it if it means everyone has a good time and we can enjoy each other’s company. Planning ahead helps me to both budget my energy and to make sure everything is ready. And if it’s not, I have to decide that’s okay too. Half the battle is changing my perspective. My family all knows this about me, thankfully, so that takes the pressure off. They see what needs to be done and fill in the cracks accordingly.

One thing I am striving for today though, is to clean out the fridge to make room for the turkey day leftovers. Which means I am working on using up our every day leftovers. In other words, I’m eating whatever I can. It’s a slight departure from my daily smoothies but my gut doesn’t seem to be bothered by it, yay! This morning I had scrambled eggs with red onion, red bell pepper, and feta. It was scrumptious, and I was able to rid the fridge of four containers. Still have lots of cleaning out to do but that was a fun way to get it started. Well not as much fun as it was tasty, I guess. You know what I mean, right?

I have a sick kid home with me today so I’ve taken plenty of breaks to tend to her needs, but overall it’s been a relaxing yet productive day so far. The best kind, if you ask me!