All posts by Little M.S. Runner

Forty-something, married with two kids and two dogs. Trying hard to live every day to the fullest with multiple sclerosis, impaired vision, and deafness. Couldn't make it without my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Multiple Sclerosis, Photos, Running

Sleeping Bear Training Week 3

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I’m a few days late posting my week 3 training update, but it’s for good reason. We took a family vacation to Chicago to explore and catch a Cubs game. I might post about that later this week. It was super fun and super exhausting.

So, for week 3 I did not do any strength training, but that wasn’t exactly a conscious decision. I had been stepping back from it when I was having shoulder issues (which are almost completely healed now) and it’s hard to get back in the habit. I did all my planned runs, however, so I’m proud of that. Monday I ran 4 regular miles. Wednesday I ran 2.58 miles of hill repeats. There are two streets in my neighborhood that are on decent inclines, so I just ran up those streets, walked down, and kept repeating until I had reached my planned 2.5 miles (I went a bit over because I was running up the hill when I hit my mark).

Then Saturday I ran my long run of 8 miles. It was a beautiful day, and at 7 am it was perfect weather. Sixty degrees with a slight breeze. I ran the same paved trail as the week before, and that was really nice. I don’t know how far this trail goes, so I’m kind of excited to see a little bit more of it each time I add more to my long run.

I am still absolutely loving having the freedom to head out my front door and run down these trails. For this 8 mile run I was able to remember to take it slow and steady. There was a point when my left knee started giving me mild pain, but I just slowed up a bit more and it went away. One of the things I’ve learned through regular long distance running is that it’s not only OKAY to go slow, it’s advisable. Pay attention to your body and it will let you know when you are pushing too hard. My first year of running I had lots of minor injuries to my knees and hips and ended up in physical therapy for it. It was all because I was trying to run too fast on all my training runs. So now I slow down, enjoy the scenery at a slower pace. Or as Martinus Evans calls it, “sexy pace”.

Week 4 is halfway over already due to our trip, but we did so much walking in Chicago I don’t think the hiccup in training is going to make any difference. I’m going to just keep moving forward. I’ll let y’all know how it goes!

Multiple Sclerosis, Photos, Running

Sleeping Bear Half Marathon Training Week #2

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Week 2 of my half marathon training! I had a bit of trouble this week dealing with an injured shoulder, but I’m on the mend. I am scheduled to have an ultrasound soon, but in the meantime I’ve been gentle with the arm and have been doing most of the exercises that the doctor recommended. I believe all of that is helping a great deal. I actually woke up this morning not in need of pain medication. The pain level is down to a 2 or 3, which is a phenomenal improvement, and I’m almost embarrassed to be showing up for the ultrasound nearly pain free. Hopefully they are still able to see the root cause of the issue.

But on to the training update!
>Monday – 27 minute Fitbod workout, quadriceps and glutes
>Tuesday – No workout, I went to the doctor to check out my shoulder
>Wednesday – 3 mile run, but no arm pumping lol
>Thursday – No workout, infusion day wipes me out
>Friday – No workout, I think I was still wiped out from the week, and chose to rest.
>Saturday – Ran 7 miles on a trail I pass all the time and have wanted to run but was scared to venture out on my own. I just didn’t know how far it went, or if it was a smooth path away from traffic. After I was assured by both my son and husband that it was safe for me to run, I set out to try it out with this week’s long run and I am so glad I did! The path was smooth, shaded in several spots but not secluded, and beautiful. Yes, there is a street on one side, but it wasn’t terribly busy as far as cars go. The only traffic I really had to watch out for was other runners, walkers, dogs, and bikers. I can’t tell you how exciting it is for me to find safe, barrier-free areas to run on that are near my house. No transportation needed but my two legs. I love it.

I just had to get a shot of my view of the trail because it was so beautiful. This was on my way back so the street is to my left and the trees and fence are on my right. I believe I passed a small lake or pond on the right as well but I don’t know if that’s in this photo.

To recap, I ran a total of 10 miles and did one strength workout. Week three isn’t going to look a whole lot better but my legs and lungs are still holding up to the running so I have no complaints. I’m looking forward to an 8 mile run next Saturday because I’ll get to see a little more of the “new” trail. I may just keep running that trail throughout this training to see how far it goes! Until next time…

Multiple Sclerosis, Running

2024 Sleeping Bear Half Marathon training Week #1

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Running post coming up! I’m planning to run a bodacious half marathon in early October. A race in a beautiful part of Michigan, and one with lots of hills. I’m really looking forward to it. I have a training plan in place, and this past week was the first week. I had a lot of fun doing weekly training recaps when I trained for my marathons, and it really served a secondary purpose of keeping me accountable to staying with the plan, even when life and injuries tried to get in the way.

And, as if right on cue, life is already attempting to get in the way of my training plan. I have good reason to believe that I have injured the rotator cuff on my right shoulder doing mountain climbers two weeks ago. The pain was subtle at first but has been steadily growing to a level that is not acceptable to me. In short, it hurts like hell. I’m currently resting my arm as much as possible and medicating with over-the-counter ibuprofen until I can get in to see a medical professional. However, I’ve been assured that running should not bother it, so I’m going to continue with my training plan with just minor alterations to the strength training portions.

So, for your entertainment, here is last week’s update…

Sleeping Bear Half Marathon Training Week #1:
Monday: Strength training! 43 minute Fitbod workout: Quadriceps, chest, shoulders, triceps, abs, and lower back
Tuesday: 3 miles running
Wednesday: 20 minute Fitbod workout: Back, abs, and lower back
Thursday: 2.5 miles of running up and walking down hills
Friday: Cross training was planned but not completed
Saturday: 7 mile run was planned but also not completed

Notes regarding this week’s training. This was the week I expected to have more fatigue, because my monthly infusion was coming up the following week. When I looked at that, I was not surprised that I was dragging hard by Friday and was not discouraged to be unable to cross train or run 7 miles. The days I did complete i gave 100% effort and on the days I didn’t, I gave myself grace and permission to enjoy that necessary rest.

Also I’m noting that my strength training on Monday involved a lot of arms and that’s probably what contributed to the drastic increase in shoulder pain that I began to experience later in the week (not the mountain climbers from two weeks prior). Hindsight, huh? I’m actually grateful to have uncovered that information ahead of time so I can pass it along to my doctor when I meet with her in the morning!

Overall, it was a decent start to my training, even if I wasn’t able to stick to it all the way. If there’s one thing I learned from training for my marathons, it’s that life is always going to get in the way, but the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Progress is progress. And this week was progress, so I am content with how it went. No complaints here! Keep moving forward…

Family, Food, Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Music, Photos, Running

Trail Town 10k Report

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I ran a 10k on Saturday that I only half-heartedly trained for, but I had a blast. The weather was threatening thunderstorms all week, so the days leading up to it I wasn’t sure whether to be excited or bummed or nervous. The whole time I waffled between all these emotions I was kicking myself for not securing a guide runner for myself. The race was in my hometown, and 100% on trails I’ve trained on with a friend, so I just didn’t think I would need a guide. But adding rain to the mix would change the game a bit. I can’t see puddles well, or fallen branches. Also, my cochlear implants are not waterproof, and I did not want to have to remove them and run completely deaf.

I reached out to Facebook the day before, for encouragement and advice. My Facebook friends did not disappoint. I made a plan to wear my waterproof rain hat, and bring ziploc baggies to hold my cochlear processors if the hat didn’t keep them dry. With everyone’s encouragement, and the added benefit of having my husband present for the entirety of the race, I felt confident that I could do this.

The morning of the race I had a dream I was running a half marathon, and I was killing it. Seriously kicking ass and having fun. So that was my mindset when my Garmin watch buzzed at 7:30 am. I opened my eyes and said to myself, let’s do this! I looked at the sky and the morning’s weather forecast and was pleased to see that they only expected rain up until 9 or so. No storms! I was pleased at that, for sure, but my stomach was still in knots. I was excited and nervous, as usual. My husband and I got in the truck to head to the race and I just kept focusing on my breathing, hoping to settle my stomach. As we pulled out of our neighborhood Led Zeppelin’s Kashmir came on the radio (one of my favorites) and Mike and I looked at each other with impish smiles. I said, “This is my good luck running song.” In my head I was saying “Let’s f**king go. You’ve got this.”

As predicted, it did rain for the first couple miles of the race but then it cleared up for the remainder. There are lots of wooden bridges on our local trails, and they can get pretty slick when they are wet, so I did a lot of walking on the bridges. I normally run with intermittent 30 second walk breaks, Jeff Galloway style (if you know, you know), and my Garmin watch alerts me with vibrations when it’s time to run or walk. The problem is that I didn’t verify my watch was on the correct setting before starting the race, and about a half mile into the race I realized I wasn’t getting my alerts. It was still on the walk setting. I was feeling pretty strong with the running though, and knew I would have to do all the walking over the bridges, so I decided to go with it. I would just run the whole thing, with the exception of walking on the bridges.

My last-minute strategy worked out wonderfully and I felt strong the whole race. My left leg was of course threatening to drag towards the end, but not in the way it has in the past. Certainly not as bad as the last 10k, where for the last mile I needed to maintain a constant clutch on my guide runner’s arm to keep from falling. That was the Rivertown 10k in April, and I forgot to post about it, but it was a really fun race. In spite of the leg trouble at the end. Shout out to my guide and friend Mandy for making that race way more awesome than it should have been.

I finished this race with both hands held high and a smile on my face. I searched the crowd for Mike but I couldn’t find him so I just walked unsteadily toward a clearing, and then kept walking sort of in circles to keep from falling. I was unsteady, for sure, but I was able to stay upright this time, without any assistance. I may be getting stronger, folks! As I completed a circle and was facing the finish line, I saw Mike walking towards me. He had been on the other side, so I had a 50/50 chance of seeing him, I guess. We hugged, and then walked over to the pavilion to get a banana and granola bar. A race employee came over and asked me how it went, and I blabbed that I think this was my new favorite race. And even now, I think that’s true. I know I can run those trails for free, but it’s a whole different experience when you are surrounded by other runners, you are cheering each other on, and you get a pretty sweet medal at the end.

And of course, a free banana.

Riding home post race with my medal and my favorite chauffeur, my husband Mike.

Friends, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

Heat Wave

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We’re having some hot days here in Michigan. And since we have all these lakes, that heat comes with humidity. Heat is one thing, but add in the humidity and it’s downright miserable. Ask anyone from Michigan or Florida, they’ll be happy to tell you. I stepped outside one day last week and immediately started sweating. Last week it was in the 90s, this week it’s looking to be a teensy bit cooler. It was 79 degrees Fahrenheit at 9:00 this morning, and I think reached 87. It’s one of those things we Michiganders love to complain about. It unifies us, makes us feel like we all have something in common.

But I didn’t come on here to complain about the heat. Not really. I wanted to share how the heat affects me as someone living with multiple sclerosis. This is one of the things I remember the doctors and therapists warning me about when I was first diagnosed. “Keep your core temperature down” they said, “be careful not to get overheated”. I didn’t know at the time how important that advice was, but almost 15 years with the disease and I have a thorough understanding now. My body doesn’t handle extreme temperatures well, either cold or heat. While extreme cold causes me more pain, mostly in my legs, the extreme heat is more debilitating overall. When I get overheated I often feel physically ill. My legs move more slowly, as if I’m hiking through thick mud. I’m more fatigued, and not in the cyclical way I’ve talked about with my Tysabri infusions, but more of a general moving slow. All day, every day. All summer I will need to give myself grace and know that I’ll just be doing everything a lot more slowly. Even running.

Which brings me to today’s example. I’m trying to maintain some level of fitness throughout this fatigue, but with this heat outside it’s forced me to do my running on the treadmill. And when I say running, I really mean mostly walking. It’s been a struggle. Today my plan was to try 5 miles. With two fans blowing on me at full speed and a wet handkerchief wrapped around my neck, I stepped onto my basement treadmill wearing my lightweight running shorts and sport bra. I was able to do some very slow running for portions of my run, but I mostly had to walk, and as I approached the 3rd mile I knew I wasn’t going to make it to 5. I stopped at 3 and called it good. It’s hard to complain about “only” going 3 miles out of 5 when you still remember the days of needing a walker to get around.

I think the heat also affects my already poor balance. I’ve been a lot more tipsy lately. Last night I was at a gathering with my friends and when I stood up from the couch, I almost fell over as I started to walk. Everyone gasped because I think they saw me falling but none of them could get up in time to catch me. Thankfully, I was able to catch my balance and I never went down, but I definitely tried to be more careful going forward, moving more slowly and cautiously.

That walker that I had to use back in 2013 is still in storage and has been for over 10 years. Every day I am thankful I am able to get myself out of bed (even if it’s much later in the morning than I would prefer). I know how beneficial the running and walking is for my M.S. so I just need to keep doing it. Consistency trumps volume, and some days I won’t go the distance I had hoped, but that’s okay. I am still moving. With as hot as it has been outside, that’s no small miracle.

Multiple Sclerosis, Running

High Fatigue Days

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Hi there, folks. I’m still here. Working behind the scenes. Doing lots of resting. I get infusions every 4 weeks of a disease modifying drug called Tysabri. I figured out a long time ago that my energy slowly declines throughout those 4 weeks, and by that fourth week I’m often fatiguing pretty hard. I won’t tell you how many years it took me to come to that realization, but let’s just say my friends and family figured it out well before I did. They saw the trend, while I just panicked every time that fatigue level rose. It was a terrible cycle.

This month my “fatigue week” was pretty gnarly. I had set a goal to run every day in the month of June but that proved quickly to be too much. I overdid it. I was barely moving. Sleeping a lot. Zoning out when I wasn’t sleepy. So I’ve been scaling back and listening to my body, resting when my body is refusing to move. I always have some level of fatigue but am usually able to manage it by taking lots of breaks, dividing work into smaller pieces, that sort of thing. But these past few days the fatigue was constant and it was rough. I had my infusion today, so I’m anticipating I’ll get some energy back soon and will be able to resume my regular household duties as well as all the things I do for fun (running, writing, crocheting, reading).

Don’t get me wrong here. I’m really grateful that I have this M.S. medication that works for me, keeps me from relapsing, and somehow helps relieve me of some of my fatigue. It’s not designed to do that, but a lot of people on the same medication share similar experience of a raised level of fatigue as the monthly infusion wears off. Meaning when the medicine is fresh in our system we feel less fatigued. I won’t go so far as to say it gives me energy, because that’s just not true. It’s just that when you constantly struggle with fatigue, the absence of it can mimic having energy, if that makes sense. I may be overexplaining, this, whatever. My brain is tired. Anyway, I’ve been on it for 13 years and pray it continues to work well for me. In the 14 years I’ve lived with this disease, they’ve come out with a ton more disease modifying drugs like the one I’m on, but from what I hear they also come with some crummy side effects. No thank you. I’ll stick with my Tysabri.

It’s all good. It’s always frustrating, these regular seasons of fatigue, but I always bounce back. No, that’s not true. It’s not bouncing back. It’s more of a slow ease back. I do not bounce around here. I gradually come back to a manageable level of energy. Meaning after today’s infusion, I’ll soon have the energy to manage life again. For another 3 weeks or so until it wears off again. Lather, rinse, repeat.

That is all for today. I’m working on a couple other blog posts and hope to have at least one of them ready for publishing this week. Once my brain is fully back online. Until then… peace out, party people.

Hobbies, Photos

Frogging projects

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You guys. I’m so sad. I’ve been working on crocheting a tote bag a saw months ago on the Lion Brand Yarn website. The pattern said it was easy, but at several points throughout the pattern I was very unsure if I was doing it correctly. I finished the bag portion, all but the straps, and I knew it was wrong. I carefully compared it to the photo and it’s obvious to me that the straps were going on the wrong side. If I were to go ahead with the straps we would end up with a very strange looking tote bag. One that would not fit flat against your body the way it should. So I made the painful decision to frog it. Frogging, that means I ripped out all the stitches. Rip it, rip it, get it? Sounds kind of like a frog. I didn’t make that up. It’s a thing, I promise. Just look it up. It’s a great way for us crocheters and knitters to make light of having to completely undo our hard work and start over.

This is what the bag is supposed to look like.
And this is what I had to frog. The handles were going on the wrong sides!

So today I’ll be starting fresh with the tote bag, and hopefully this time the pattern will make more sense to me, having gone through it once already. That first run was just for practice, I guess! I suppose it’s fine, because I wasn’t really happy with how the base of the bag turned out anyway. It was kind of lumpy and uneven. I find that with crochet patterns it’s difficult for me to visualize how the pattern fits into the finished product, so having gone through it once already should help. This second try I’ll try to relax a bit and not rush through it. Wish me luck!

Anxiety, Disability, Domestic Engineer, Faith, Family, Running, Stories, Writing

I need a new driver

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I made a note awhile back to write this post but felt stuck and left it hanging. I’ve been struggling to find my groove with writing lately. Today being the first of June, I set a goal for myself to write at least 30 minutes and run at least 2 miles a day for the entire month. Y’all, there are so many parallels between writing and running, it’s uncanny. Warming up is crucial to both. I haven’t run yet today, but I did some writing, and in the practice of writing I already feel like I’m finding my “voice” again.

Anyway, back to the subject of this post, needing a new driver. Let me explain. Healing from CPTSD has been an amazing and difficult journey, and I am so grateful to be on the other side of it. HOWEVER, it came with some downsides. I believe my constant level of anxiety was the reason I did the things I did every day. The anxiety is why I had my routines. It’s why I couldn’t leave the laundry unfolded for too long, it’s why I had to plan the meals. My routines were driven by my anxiety.

With anxiety no longer driving the car, my routines were off-roading. Wee!! It was kind of fun for awhile, liberating even. But now I’m sort of getting back to reality and realizing I need some level of routine. Because I don’t live alone, and people count on me. So if anxiety isn’t driving the routines, what is? That’s a really good question, and I think the answer had to come after a lot of soul searching. I realized that I really like having a clean home. It feels very satisfying to have laundry and dishes that are not only clean, but put away. I am able to relax when we have food in the kitchen and I have a plan for meals I can feed my family. Having this order in my home gives me a really peaceful feeling. So I’ve been reintroducing my routines bit by bit, but only after making sure it’s because I want them there, and they make sense.

This change may not be noticeable to anyone else. On the outside it looks the same to my family. The difference now is that when I have my fatigue days and can’t keep up with my routines, I am able to say to myself, “just rest, that can wait.” Or better yet, I can ask my family members to help. I don’t feel that shame and guilt that I did before. I am able to have grace for myself and this body I live in. It’s a *wonderful* thing.

This is a matter of self-care, which the culture talks a lot about and I sort of cringe at, but I do agree you need to take care of yourself first. Well, second. Jesus first, then take care of you. I am better able to take care of family now because I take care of my needs first. Only now I feel like I’m doing that because I want to, not because some invisible force told me I should. My stepmom used to say “don’t should on yourself”, and I love that saying. “Should” is a terrible driver. You may be getting things done that way, but you do it with the added baggage of guilt and shame. Find a new driver, one who gives you grace and patience. You might find, as I did, that the new driver looks a lot like you!

Health, Running

Big Toe Trouble

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I’m sure I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve been having some pain in my right big toe. It’s been going on for about a year and a half, and I had first noticed it after I had (stupidly) run for 30 minutes barefoot on the treadmill. I read a book and it sounded interesting, okay? As a matter of fact, it felt awesome doing it. It was the following day when I first noticed the pain.

I thought that it was a running injury and I talked to my primary doctor about it, and he said it was turf toe, and gave me exercises to do. Which I didn’t really do, but whatever. The pain wasn’t constant, and I was still able to run with it, so I forgot about it.

Until a couple months ago, I decided to get it checked out for real, and went back to my primary, who referred me to a podiatrist. So a few weeks ago I saw this podiatrist and she had x-rays done (right there at the office, super convenient!). The good news is that it is not a running injury. The barefoot running likely just severely irritated what was already there. And that’s the bad news – what’s already there is arthritis. It’s bad news because it’s irreversible, but there are lots of things I can do for it. I’m avoiding walking barefoot. I’m wearing only good quality shoes. And when the stabbing pain is just too much (like today when it woke me at 4 am), I have a prescription compound cream I can rub on it, and that helps take the edge off.

So. Arthritis in my toe. Certainly not fun, but I’m glad to at least know what it is I’m dealing with. It’s not keeping me from running, though at times the stabbing will flare and force me to slow down and walk until it eases up. Just praying it stays that way, because I have plans to keep running for years to come. In fact, I have a 10k next month and a half marathon in October. The 10k is nothing special as it’s in my hometown and on local trails, so I’m really just paying for the accountability to keep training, and for the participation medal. The half marathon though, is an out of towner that I’ll be running with my new guide, Allison. It looks like a really beautiful course – “up north” in Michigan everything is beautiful – so I’m pretty excited about it.

That’s all the news for today. Tons of topics to write about, but so far the stories are all still in my head. I hope to get back in the habit of regular writing so I can get some of those stories out for y’all to read. Baby steps. Fresh starts. Every day is a new day. Shalom…

Deafness, Disability, Exercise, Family, Friends, Low vision, Multiple Sclerosis, Photos, Running, Stories, Visually Impaired

Running with Guides

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A few months ago I signed up for a new-to-me 10k. The entire race event is set up to raise funds and awareness for pulmonary hypertension (PH) and multiple sclerosis (MS), and it offered multiple distance options. The name of the 10k distance was “Melinda’s 10k”, which is my full name so you know I just HAD to sign up. I did not look at the course map, and I had no friends who were running it but I wasn’t worried about it. I would wear my DeafBlind vest and be extra careful, and it would be fine. I signed up, and then forgot all about it.

A month ago I received a message from United in Stride, which is an online database that helps pair blind runners with guides. The company was founded in 2015, so it hasn’t been around for long, but I do believe it’s growing. I signed up with them several years ago, when I realized I was getting serious about running, but at that time there weren’t any guide runners in my area so I just forgot about it. Then comes this message from Allison, who wants to know if I need a guide runner for any upcoming races. At first I told her no, because I had forgotten about Melinda’s 10k, but then immediately came back and said yes, actually I do have a race I need a guide for. She was immediately on board! Not only that, she was eager to run a couple training runs with me, which was a great way for us to get to know each other ahead of the race, and for us to practice running side by side.

Me & Allison before the race. Lots of sun! All smiles.

We ran this race together, and it was a good thing I had her with me. For several reasons, much of the course we were the only ones in sight (or at least in my sight): it was a small-town race, not a lot of 10k participants, not a lot of spectators, and I’m pretty slow so I hang at the back of the “pack”. There were several spots in the course where I could have easily made a wrong turn and gotten lost. I was super grateful to have her with me. I had been hoping to beat my previous 10k PR (personal record) from 2020, but that wasn’t meant to be. Not only was it really warm this day, but my fatigue this past month was pretty gnarly and prevented me from doing the amount of training I needed. I was happy to finish though, and I wasn’t too far off my goal, so I’ve got something to work towards for the next one.

Me & Allison after the race, holding up our medals. Still smiling!

The best part about this for me, what I’m really excited about, is that it opens up more options for racing. Up until now I’ve only ever entertained the idea of running races local to me, where I could easily get a ride from my family or friends, and not have to worry about inconveniencing them. The couple I have done outside of our area, my family and friends graciously took me to because they knew they were important to me, but I’ve run out of those bucket list type races. Now I just want to keep racing for the fun of it. It’s hard to ask someone to bring you to an out-of-town race when there’s nothing in it for them but standing around waiting for you to drag your sweaty ass over the finish line (thank you a million times over to my dear husband who does this without complaint, and is always more than willing to hug me and hold me up at the end, despite my level of stink).

So. All that to say, I am stoked to have yet another running buddy. Allison and I have been talking about what other races we could run together, and I love her enthusiasm. I’m old enough to be her mom, which took some getting used to at first, but I think her energy helps to motivate me so it’s a great thing. She made us matching bracelets that say “Unstoppable”, and I’m looking forward to wearing mine at all our future races.

The finisher’s medal and the bead bracelet Allison made for me.

As I was writing this it occurred to me that I don’t think I ever posted about my race from last month, so I’ll get that one started for you too. It will be another great opportunity to talk about my invaluable guide runners. I couldn’t do this crazy stuff without them!