All posts by Little M.S. Runner

Forty-something, married with two kids and two dogs. Trying hard to live every day to the fullest with multiple sclerosis, impaired vision, and deafness. Couldn't make it without my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Holidays, Kids, Thankfulness Challenge

Thankful Challenge, Day 2

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Just so there is no confusion, I started this on November 1st, so it will always look like I’m one day behind.

Day 2! My daughter woke up and I said “Good morning! It’s Monday!”. And she replied, “Yay! We get to go to school!”

Now, that’s a perspective I like to see. They GET to go to school. It’s a privilege. And my children are truly blessed to be at the school they attend, for many reasons. One, the principal is a good friend of ours from way back before we had kids. And because we know her and like her, we are confident that she does an amazing job. That and it doesn’t hurt that she has known and loved our kids since they were born.

The school is particularly special because it is an IB World School. I encourage you to visit the site, but what it basically means is that they are held to a higher standard of academic and social learning. And because Chinese is the language of choice, they are taught half the day in Chinese.

My kids are learning how to read and write, but they are also learning some crucial life skills. They are learning how to be problem solvers and work productively with kids who come from a variety of different backgrounds. They are challenged daily to realize their potential and work towards it.

But aside from all that, I am grateful to live in a country, in a city, where public school is available. I know that is not a privilege every community has, but one that is so important to our future. Cue Whitney Houston…

Family, Holidays, Thankfulness Challenge

Thanking God, one day at a time

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A friend on Facebook mentioned she would be spending the entire month of November taking daily pause to recognize what she is thankful for. I think that’s a great idea. Thanksgiving is, after all, at the end of this month. It is also one of my favorite holidays.

So today, the 2nd of November, I will share what I am thankful for by way of telling you what my husband and I discussed on the way home from church today.

Okay, #1 is the fact that we can even have a conversation while we are in the car. But that’s not the thing. The thing we were discussing was that last fall was such a scary time for us. In fact, I don’t remember much of it. I lost my hearing and then shortly after started losing my vision and got very sick. I was what you call “checked out”. I was falling asleep at all hours of the day, I couldn’t remember where I was, or why I was there. I was in and out of the hospital as they tested me for everything under the sun. They were looking at some very serious diseases, some even fatal. This went on from mid-August until some time in January. My husband feared that this would remain a permanent state for me, awake for four hours a day, and not quite conscious even then. My mom and perhaps many others feared that I was dying.

But what a difference from last fall to this one. I am back! I still have a terrible memory, but for the most part I am here. I am present, living every moment as if it is a gift, because it is. It is such an amazing gift to have my mind back, and to be able to hug my children and tuck them into bed each night. To lovingly and thoughtfully prepare meals for my family, and to sit around the table, fully awake, is tremendous. It’s been almost a year from the last time I fell asleep sitting in the living room and had to go to bed before dinner with my family. Not a day goes by where I don’t thank God for that.

Tell me, what are you thankful for this season?

Holidays

All Hallows’ Eve

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Nothing like coming in at the last minute on this one. Today is Halloween. We Americans celebrate with costumes, candy, devil worship.

Wait, what??

I’m sorry, no. Where did this holiday come from anyway? What exactly are we celebrating? The truth here is that today’s Halloween is an American tradition born out of a hodge-podge of several other traditions. However, it started with the Catholics in Ireland honoring the saints who had passed on. The word, Halloween, came from All Hallows’ Eve, the night preceding All Saints’ Day, which occurs on November 1st. It’s a fascinating history, how it came to be what it is today, and I encourage you to read about it here.  As it turns out, it was never about celebrating or worshiping the devil.

I had an interesting conversation with my son at the bus stop this morning. A friend from school had told him that Halloween celebrates the devil. Which I sort of agreed with (not having read that article yet), but followed it up with the All Saints’ Day connection. Because that’s all I could remember about it’s history. I reminded him that I have never been a fan of Halloween and I have always been reluctant to participate. He then asked me, “why do we pass out candy then?”

Good question! I told him about when we first moved into this house, the house my husband grew up in, and the neighborhood he spent every Halloween soliciting for free candy (this was 7 years before we had children). I told him about our ongoing, bitter disagreement about passing out candy, and how after many weeks (years, actually) I eventually gave in for the sake of our marriage and because I do understand that he was just wanting to give back to kids what he was given when he was a kid. He has fond memories of the tradition.

As a preacher’s kid, I grew up knowing about the basic origins of Halloween, and we were allowed to go trick-or-treating, but it was never a big deal. It was certainly never my favorite holiday, and it never will be. I was glad for growing up with that knowledge, so I am pleased to see that my kids are interested in hearing it. I don’t think it spoils their fun in any way. We still let them participate in the activities put on by the school and community, and we let them dress up and beg for candy. We draw the line at gory or frightening costumes, but they’ve never wanted to be anything but princesses and super heroes, so that’s never been an issue.

After this weekend it will all be over and we can move on to the next holiday with controversial origins, Thanksgiving!

Food

Problems, sort of

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I was really looking forward to having leftover homemade chicken noodle soup for lunch, but when I got back from dropping the kids at the bus stop, I couldn’t keep myself from crawling right back into bed. So I woke up after 11 am, made some coffee, and reheated the leftover pancakes and sausage I had also been trying to finish off. So I guess the plan for this afternoon is to wait until I get hungry again so I can enjoy more leftovers. Okay, I know that’s not really much of a plan. Just telling you what’s gonna happen, that’s all.

And in case you wondered…

4 Ingredient Chicken Noodle Soup

Parenting

On breathing, counting, and alliteration

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We’ve been working hard on some behavioral changes here at the Richmond house lately. The problem started small, but very quickly spiraled out of control. Our son was having trouble at school getting along with other kids and following directions during class. But it wasn’t just him. Our daughter was coming home with notes from the teacher for not following directions, and my husband and I were getting very frustrated, and having a hard time controlling our tempers.

Now, you can blame the root of the issue, which I believe is that Mike and I both have hot tempers. He has a short fuse, while I am more of a stewing crockpot. Both are just as ugly and destructive. So we have passed this dangerous temper combo onto our children, leaving us with a house full of hotheads. However, naming the root of the issue does nothing to solve the problem.

After much prayer and discussion, we are learning in a very real way that change starts with us. Just as one person’s anger spreads to the other family members and spirals out of control, one person’s calm and positive attitude can also spread to each other and diffuse a brewing conflict. I am learning to make the conscious decision to react in a certain way when I feel those feathers of fury getting ruffled (pardon the alliteration). I am learning how to breathe, count under my breath if needed, and smile. It’s nearly impossible to yell or scream when you are smiling. I would argue that it’s also nearly impossible to remember to breathe, but with trial and error and lots of opportunities to practice, I am getting there. I do feel like things are changing around here, for the better. Slowly, but surely.

This morning was a prime example. I woke up at 8:08 this morning. About 11 minutes after the bus would have arrived at the stop to pick up the kids for school. I’ll admit, I said “Shit!”, but then I quickly got up, put my ear on, and went to get the children. Luke was already dressed (apparently out of the habit of waking me up to get them to the bus stop), so I quickly woke up Natalie and urged her to dress quickly. While I made sure the kids were ready, Mike was scurrying to get ready for work, and by 8:25 everyone was headed out the door and on there way. As I watched them drive away, it occurred to me that through the entire process from start to finish, from bedrooms to backpacks (I know, I just did it again), no one yelled.

That, my friends, is a miracle. And I am convinced that yelling is an ineffective, horrible habit (sorry!). It only serves to make the yeller feel better for a split second and it teaches our kids nothing about controlling their own tempers. What it does teach them is that it is okay to lose control and disrespect others, not to mention gives them practice at tuning us out.

So this morning was a victory, but it’s just a start. We still have many years of parenting ahead of us, and who knows how many more potential conflicts. We are learning new strategies and honing healthy habits (I couldn’t resist) and habits take time and persistence. We must start each new day with the resolve to make the right choices and take responsibility for our behavior.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”
Maya Angelou

Why Yelling Is a Waste of Time and Energy

Kids

You can never get it back

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Oh dear. Natalie erased everything from the marker board in our kitchen in order to draw a picture. I explained why she should not have done that, because whatever she erased is lost forever, and it may have been important information, but assured her(sheepishly) “I love your picture!” And she nodded all serious-like, said “ok”, and went back to her table. She returned with a clean marker board. She had erased her drawing. I made a sad face because I said  “I loved that picture”… she giggled at that and then paused for a few seconds… then BURST into tears. Because I was right. It’s gone forever 😦

Friends, God speaks, Miracles do happen

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine

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I started this post last night, but it was while I had the television on, so I was distracted. I scrapped it, because when you want to share an important message, “distracted” is a crappy mindset to be in. This morning I’m trying to go with “honest” and “clear minded”. Here goes…

I saw Jesus yesterday. Not literally, of course, but real enough. I hesitate to write publicly about this because I want to be respectful of others’ privacy and personal lives, but I hope she will understand the underlying desire to share the powerful message her life is speaking. Who is she? She is a dear friend from my church. Someone who I felt a connection to from the beginning, because when we met two short years ago, she was having difficulty walking, as I do many days. It looked like MS, though doctors were still working on a diagnosis at the time. After many months of waiting for more testing to be done, a diagnosis was made.

My friend has ALS. Also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, ALS is a debilitating, incurable, fatal neurological disease. The nerves that tell her body to do the most basic and necessary functions are quickly dying. In a very short amount of time she has had to deal with loss after loss after loss. She is dependent on her husband and countless others for everything: eating, bathing, dressing, sleeping. Not only that, but she is an extrovert. Being stuck at home has to be one of the hardest changes for her. Amongst all the rest.

But rest assured, there is a positive message here. You see, I never leave her house feeling sorry for her. In fact, I always leave feeling more blessed and amazed. Not because she is a great woman, though she is amazing, but because I see something – someone – shining through her. When I see her, I see Jesus in those sparkling eyes. She is living in one of the most tragic of situations, and she still wears a smile and true light in her eyes. She is confident that this is not the end for her. She is looking forward to an eternity with her Savior. When her physical body breathes it’s last labored breath, she will be in heaven, dancing with her Jesus.

This is a woman who has devoted her life to serving Christ by mentoring others, and she hasn’t let ALS stop her. She continues to mentor others from her wheelchair using the telephone, computer, and voice commands. She still accepts visitors at her home, even though it may be uncomfortable for some to see her in her present state. Her body is dying, but her spirit is still very much alive. Of course, she has her bad days, but she lets herself have them and moves on. Every day is a gift, and she knows this with all of her heart. She chooses to life live to the fullest, every day, with all she’s got. And it may look to the human eye like that’s not much, but I know the opposite is true. She has Jesus living within her, giving her strength and peace and courage and hope. By letting Him shine through her, she is a true inspiration.

My hope here is a sort of “pay it forward” wish. I know that Christ’s strength and power is made perfect in our weakness. It’s true for my friend, and I want it to be true of me. I was dealt a crappy hand this past year, but I am determined to make the best of it. With strength I didn’t know I had, I am overcoming. I am 100% confident that that strength comes from knowing Jesus, and I want everyone to know Him too. So I suppose that’s the message. I’m not an evangelist. I’m not trying to be pushy. After all, you could have stopped reading this at any point, and you still can. But if you’ve made it this far, let me ask you this: have you met Jesus? Do you want to? I know He wants to meet you, and I would be glad to introduce you 🙂

Cochlear implant, Deafness, Miracles do happen

Today was a good day

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I feel like someone should throw me a party, or buy me a congratulatory latte. I did get a high five from my audiologist and a fist bump from my husband. Why? Because at my last appointment I scored 21% speech recognition and today it was a whopping 79%! And that’s after only four months with one ear! Imagine how much better it will get with time and possibly a second ear implanted!

This is so exciting, to put a quantitative figure on the improvement until today I had only speculated was happening. Praise God!