All posts by Little M.S. Runner

Forty-something, married with two kids and two dogs. Trying hard to live every day to the fullest with multiple sclerosis, impaired vision, and deafness. Couldn't make it without my Savior, Jesus Christ.
Daily Snippets, Funny story, Photos

Obsessions

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I have some things I obsess about.  Some are the kind that only last for a season, and others never go away. My newest and latest (but perhaps shortest) obsession is with LuLaRoe leggings. They really are fantastic. They are the most comfortable leggings I have ever worn, and I love wearing the three pair that I own. But I refuse to stock up on more, as they come in lots of crazy patterns I just don’t have the love for, and they cost $25 a pair. Of the three I own, I only paid full price for one. I would maybe be more tempted to go hog wild with these if summer weren’t on the way. I just can’t stomach wearing leggings in the summer. My calves need to breathe, y’all.

And that brings me to my next obsession: Wonder Woman. I’ve been a fan since I was in kindergarten. She is a symbol of major female bad-assery, she’s got awesome hair, and a pretty fun theme song (I could sing and dance it for you!). My sister and I have always IMG_6081shared in this appreciation, and over the years have used the image and logo as a genuine reminder of not only the strength we each possess and the unique struggles we have each survived, but the joy we choose to hold onto in spite of all that. So, guess what we did? We got some matching Wonder Woman tattoos to make it super official. We chose to get them on our legs because she is a runner and I am becoming one. My calf is on the left… see how the calf segue makes sense now? A little? Anyway, I think they are awesome, don’t you?

So I have Wonder Woman coffee mugs, a water bottle, a tattoo, and also a mixer. I ordered the decals awhile ago but I just put them on this past weekend. I think it looks pretty awesom2016-05-27 20.15.55e, and makes baking a lot more fun. I’m not quite sure what the white arrow on the top was supposed to be for, but maybe I could do some internet research and find out. It’s entirely possible that it wasn’t supposed to go on the mixer at all, and that it was just some random decal included with zero purpose. But oh well.

My other longstanding obsession is paisley. I just can’t resist it. Every time I see something covered in a paisley pattern my heart sort of skips a beat and I smile all over. I get ridiculous giddy, and it makes me feel like a kid in a candy store. Seriousl2016-05-21 15.15.03y. A couple weeks ago I saw a woman at Panera Bread walking around in a flowy pair of pants covered in black and white paisley and I could not stop staring. She probably thought I was some kind of a freak. I probably am; I took this picture of my daughter, with the pants in the background, hoping to get a better look at them, but you really can’t see them all that well. It’s a cute picture of my goofy girl though!

I don’t really know where this obsession with paisley comes from, but I have a guess. I remember loving to play dress up with my mom’s bandanas when I was a kid. You know the ones you see bikers wear around their heads? Who knows why she had a collection of them, but now I have my o10372983_10152407071016897_5426072431133990275_own collection of them and I can’t seem to let them go. One of them I think I actually stole from her, and it’s by far my favorite. It’s a sage green color, with paisley of course, and it’s been used so many times it’s super soft and cozy. It makes me happy just to touch it. And maybe that’s the one that started it all, I don’t know. I just know that I am a sucker for paisley. I put it everywhere I can, my phone, my keychain, my purses, my clothes. Heck, I even have a giant splash of it tattooed on my arm. It’s a wonder I didn’t name my daughter Paisley. Oh geez, why didn’t I think of it then? What a missed opportunity. Maybe I’ll save it for our next dog.

So I downloaded the eBay app a couple days ago to search specifically for paisley LuLaRoe leggings and found that they are surprisingly popular. I mean, we’re talking 200% markup popular. I told you I didn’t want to spend $25 for a pair of leggings, didn’t I? But how about a pair of paisley leggings? Would you pay $75 for those?? No. No, no, no, no. I will not go so far. I mean, they are beautiful, yes, but they are still just a pair of leggings. It took some dragging folks, but I managed to move on. I gave up the search. I did not, however, give up the app. I figured while I had it on my phone I may as well search for some new summer clothes, which I kind of need anyway. It’s amazing all the brand new clothing you can find for super dirt cheap on eBay. This is not a new obsession folks. This is an obsession revisited. When I worked in an office, almost my entire wardrobe was obtained through eBay. It was a lot of fun then, and it’s a lot of fun now. But I still have to be careful not to get too carried away. A stay at home mom only needs so many pair of shorts, right?

Sorry for all that rambling. I’m done now! Tell me, do you have a unique obsession or quirk that everyone knows you for?

Daily Snippets, Family

Moving forward then

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Whew! Made it to the weekend, just barely. I’ve been dragging the last several days, struggling to keep up with the mundane but necessary tasks. But the dragging is thankfully still movement in the right direction, and it’s all just gonna be fine.

My daughter is all done with soccer and now Girl Scouts, at least until meetings start up again in September. My son is in baseball, and that will continue through most of the summer. This is the first year I’m actually really looking forward to the school year ending, because even though the kids are home full time with me, the activities slow down and for us as a family it feels as if we can breathe a little easier. Summer activities are a must, of course, but the schedule is a lot more flexible. And, no more 7 am alarm clocks buzzing, yay!

Along with the dragging I was feeling quite down, emotionally speaking. I get this way every once in awhile, and I usually just wait it out until the feeling passes. But this time it was lingering for many days, longer than I was comfortable with. So you know what I did? I called my mom. She helped talk some sense into me, helped me straighten out all the gunk in my brain. And after I hung up the phone, I realized I really did feel so much better. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought to call her sooner, but I’m so grateful to have her, and to be able to get in touch with her when I need her.

So today was looking like just an okay day, but then it turned out much better than I expected.

Daily Snippets, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

World MS Day 2016

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Today is World MS Day. From their webpage:

For World MS Day 2016 we’re celebrating all the ways that people affected by MS maintain independence and get on with their lives.

By sharing examples of independence from lots of different countries, we want to inspire people to challenge perceptions of what people with MS can do.

I’ve shared lots on the blog here about my struggles and victories with MS. While I’ve struggled with losing aspects of my independence, I am determined not to let MS get the best of me. This year I stepped out of my comfort zone and became a runner. You can read about my 1st race HERE. This has been a life changing experience for me in so many ways, and I’m thankful for every day I am still able to run. So today, I guess, I am celebrating running as my way of maintaining independence and getting on with my life, in spite of MS.

These are some things I’m thankful for today: an air conditioned home, freshly ground coffee, and a body that moves when I tell it to. What about you? What are you thankful for today? Do you have struggles you are overcoming? Toot your own horn here so we can all celebrate together!

Multiple Sclerosis

MS Confessions

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Today for most of the day I was feeling unwell. Not outright sick, not even on the verge of sick, just unwell. It’s hard to describe, but I was feeling a little more off-balance than usual, borderline dizzy, and I was getting short of breath after singing only one or two songs at church. I just felt like something wasn’t right. And while this sort of strange feeling would typically go unnoticed or ignored by the average person, I was feeling a little uneasy about it. MS is not a controlling factor in my life every day, but when it does hit, it can hit hard.That uneasy feeling I was having was quickly veering towards an all out fear that I could easily go back to where I was in the fall of 2013 – sleeping 20 hours a day, not knowing what was going on the other 4. We’ll never know what really caused all that, but since it accompanied the loss of vision – which was caused by the MS – it’s probably safe to say MS was the culprit.

So I guess this is just a confession that sometimes I do still  get scared. I really don’t want MS to steal any more life from me than it already has. I know there is no cure, so it will always be around, but I can’t dwell there. I can only take this one day at a time. Today was just a slow day. But I rested as best I could, spent quality time with my family, and will go to bed tonight thanking God for allowing me another day on this earth. We must enjoy the moments we are given. Make those memories, and hold onto them. Seize the day.

carpe_diem

Daily Snippets, Food, Friends, Running

Four miles and then some pie

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So! This morning I decided to join the kids at the bus stop (I haven’t been, because it had been cold, and I can see the bus stop from our kitchen window). While there, I was chatting with some of the other moms and one of them mentioned that she gets up at 4:30 am. She was talking about something else, I can’t remember what, I was just stuck on that little piece of information. She gets up at 4:30 am, voluntarily, and says it with a smile on her face. It’s a choice she makes. It sounds like she does it in order to have time to exercise, run or whatever, before the rest of the family is awake. I so admire that, and I’ve always sort of fantasized – yes, fantasized – about becoming a super-duper early riser like that, but I’ve never managed to make it happen. And now I could, but why? I have ALL DAY now to exercise, meditate, relax and have alone time. No real sense in getting up early now. But maybe when summer comes I’ll try it out. To get my “Me Time” in before the kids are awake. Maybe, we’ll see. It’s just a thought.

I’m still running, even post 5k. It’s just been such a good thing for my body and spirit, so I want to keep going, race or no race. I went on two shorter runs earlier this week but then today was the big run. I do intervals between slow and steady, because that’s suppose to help you build stamina without overworking your muscles. I think. Something like that, I forget now. Today I ran/walked just under 4 miles, which is my farthest distance yet! It felt really great, but when I got home I was ravished with hunger. And while digging in the fridge for leftovers to reheat, I found there were still two pieces of Ema’s homemade rhubarb pie left from last Friday. Did you know leftovers should never be kept for more than a week? So you eat it or throw it out. And throwing out a delicious homemade rhubarb pie was not even an option to consider, so of course I had to eat it. And it was soooo yummy, I have no regrets.

I’m happy it’s Friday. It appears that warmer, spring weather has finally arrived in Michigan so everyone is emerging from their cocoons. We have a busy weekend coming up, full with kids’ activities. That’s the best way to spend a weekend if you ask me. As long as you get some napping done in between 🙂

Happy Friday, y’all!

Kids, Memories, Photos

Happy Birthday to my baby boy

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Today my son, Luke, turns 9. It feels like a lifetime ago that he was born, but I still remember the day in vivid color. He certainly made a grand entrance. Shall I share the story? Don’t mind if I do…

I was at the doctor’s office for my 39 week checkup, and they determined I was suffering from preeclampsia. I guess. I still don’t know much about that, other than it has something to do with blood pressure, and it’s rather dangerous for mom and baby. So, since I was only three days shy of my due date, we decided now was the time. They wheeled me across the tunnel to the hospital, and I made a call to let my husband know – “We’re having the baby tonight; bring dinner.”

Mike showed up with gyros from Lou & Harry’s (it was the Wednesday special), and after they had me admitted and wired up with induction drugs, we ate. I can’t believe we could eat, because we were so excited, but it was nearing dinner time and we weren’t sure when we would get another chance. Food is important to us, clearly.

The drugs took a while to kick in, but once they did, I was laboring pretty good. All. Night. By morning I was exhausted and in enough pain that I was ready for epidural. When they gave me the epidural however, they missed and hit my spine. I was numb from the neck down. When they asked me to sit up, I toppled over, unable to move. Looking back, and after all the crap I’ve been through since, this doesn’t seem all that big. But at the time, we were new to medical emergencies and we were terrified. Nurses and doctors flooded into the room, pushing Mike to the back. They pointed to a closet and told him to put on some scrubs. He was scared, but I don’t think he ever lost eye contact with me. From what I remember of course. Time changes things.

We were rushed to an operating room, which happened to be right next door. Luke’s heart rate had quickly dropped, most likely due to the stress coming from my body, and it was imperative that they get him out as soon as possible. So I ended up delivering him via emergency C-section. He was fine. I was fine. Everyone was healthy. A C-section is not what most mothers hope for, but when the result is a healthy, happy baby, you don’t complain. And especially not after seven years of infertility.

So Luke was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received, one I thought for a long time I would never get. He is growing and changing all the time, but he’ll always be my baby boy. He’s my trickster, and often thinks he’s funny when he’s not, but he has guts and you have to give him some credit for that. He is smart, energetic, thoughtful, kind, and funny, but I love his heart most of all. He is a sweet kid and he makes me proud to be his momma.

Happy birthday Luke! Mom and Dad love you immensely. Here’s to many more happy years.

Luke 9 Birthday

Cochlear implant, Family, Food, Kids, Miracles do happen, Motherhood, Running

Anniveraries and magic…

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May 9, 2014 I received my first cochlear implant (right ear).
May 8,2015 I received my second cochlear implant (left ear).
Both days were the Friday before Mother’s Day. Being given the gift of hearing again was a pretty awesome Mother’s Day gift.

May 6, 2016 I ran my first 5k. It was also the Friday before Mother’s Day. Running it with my son, and in the presence of beloved family and friends was an even better gift yet.

I’ve decided that the Friday before Mother’s Day will now always be an anniversary to be celebrated. Whether it’s celebrating the gift of CI hearing, or the accomplishment of running a race, or whatever, each year I will set aside time to remember, reflect upon, and be thankful for what I have been given.

But really, can I just say how amazing this weekend was? Kicking butt at the 5k Friday, then having a super chill day with the kids on Saturday, and then this morning, on Mother’s DAY, my husband and children got up early so they could make breakfast for me before church. And not just those canned cinnamon rolls you throw in the oven, which was the only thing I had requested. While the kids put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher, my selfless husband whipped up some fried eggs and perfectly cooked bacon. He had even run to the store that morning to buy orange juice. And then, after I was finished eating, they all showered me with cards and gifts and chocolate (of course).

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We finished the day with a drive to take Grandma for a late lunch at IHOP, which was super duper yummy (I can’t get enough of those Belgian waffles). We visited and had a good time, and then drove home, exhausted but happy.

Oh, and I almost forgot – to top it off, on Friday we received an offer on our house! The old house we moved out of last August, affectionately called The Cottage, is hopefully getting closer to being out of our hands, and that will be such a relief. We are crossing our fingers and praying that everything goes smoothly. We shall know more in the coming days.

This weekend was the best weekend I’ve had in I don’t remember how long. It feels almost magical, as cheesy as that sounds. And of course, by saying that I totally ruined the magic, but whatever. Have a magical night, everyone!

 

 

Family, Health, Multiple Sclerosis, Running

Our first 5K

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The Mason State Bank 5k Run 2016:
Mindy – Age 38 – 39:42
Luke – Age 8 – 31:07

People, people. My son’s and my first 5k was a huge success. I achieved my goals and then some. And Luke, not knowing at all what to expect, ran an amazing race. He said aside from the day he was born, which of course he doesn’t remember, this was the Best. Day. Ever. He was over the moon excited, and is already talking about his next 5k. I think we have ourselves another runner in the family.

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What an amazing experience this was. I had no doubt that I would finish the race, and without much walking even. So there was no surprise there. The best part about this race though, was that I felt immensely supported by my family and friends. My brother and sister, who are both rock star runners and have been such motivation to me personally, were both there. My sister-in-law, my two nephews, my father-in-law, a couple dear friends even. All of them came. I even had one friend who told me just hours before the race that she was going to run it too! And even those who couldn’t make it wished me well beforehand and I truly felt them there in spirit. And while my husband was not there at the end (he was helping our daughter start her one mile race), he was there to give me good luck kiss at the starting line. He’s been my biggest fan through this whole process. He helped me find good running gear, like breathable shorts and shirts, and decent running shoes (my slip-on Sketchers were laughable for distance running). Just hearing him say how proud he is of me helps to keep me going. After all, I’m doing this for him and the kids. I want to be healthy, and I want to be around for them as long as I can.

The actual race was fairly uneventful. I think I must have been a little nervous, but I held onto my cookies (mostly). It really helped having a friend running beside me (at least until I left her in the dust after the first mile lol). I kept a good pace the whole time, and only tripped on my toes once, but recovered gracefully with a skip and kept on plugging away. At mile 2 (I think) my sister was waiting to take a picture, and then joined in and jogged beside me for awhile. That was nice because when you feel sluggish, like a tortoise crawling through molasses, it’s nice to have a distraction. My sister is one tough broad and she is an enthusiastic supporter. It was really, really, fun to run beside her, even if it was only for a portion of the race.

The final stretch of the race was up a major hill, and when I got to the top I was not only taxed, but couldn’t see where the finish line was. I knew it was near the end because of all the people standing around (and the smell of food from the local vendors) but the actual finish was just far enough out of my visual field that I wasn’t sure. So I decided to walk just then, to rest my legs and give myself time to gain a better awareness of my surroundings. After a few steps though, I looked to my right and I could see what I assumed to be the finish line, so I started running again. As I ran I started to recognize the banner reading “FINISH” and I started to get a smidge emotional. Not wanting to be a bawling mess at the end, I covered my face and tried to breathe as slowly as possible. As I crossed the line I saw my brother and Luke running towards me to congratulate me and bring me a water bottle. And, of course, to make sure I made it safely to a sitting position. My left leg was genuinely out of commission for a good 10 minutes. I did manage to withhold most of the tears, and just enjoyed the moment. I did it. I ran a 5k, all the way. And I can’t wait to do it again.

 

Cochlear implant, Family, Health, Hearing Loss, Housekeeping, Multiple Sclerosis, Music

Oh, the days

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There are some days that I feel the need to  emotionally crawl back into my safe little cave. I kind of know why this happens ever so often, and I know it always passes eventually, so I’m not worried about it. I am thankful on days like these that I’m not responsible for anything urgent or super-important. Not exactly. My responsibilities involve feeding the people and keeping things clean-ish and supplies stocked. I generally give those responsibilities my 100% effort, but I’m sure we would all survive even if I gave half that.  So on days like these when I can only muster 70%, we’re doing just fine. I’m not sure anyone will even notice. In fact, when it means processed, frozen burritos for dinner instead of my homemade beef stew, the kids are actually thankful for my slacker status. They love those burritos.

My 5k race is coming up in three whole days! I don’t think I’m nervous. It’s my first race ever, so I don’t have many expectations. If I finish on my feet I’ll be happy. I heard a song awhile back come up on my Pandora station and while it’s not the best tempo for running, the lyrics gave me some motivation. Don’t judge; it was a song by Eminem. I’m trying to hit “like” on songs that sound good to my new ears, and my musical tastes have changed quite drastically. Everything just sounds so different to me now. So I guess New Mindy enjoys some Eminem and can tolerate the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anyhoo, the song that caught my ears is called “Till I Collapse”, and after reading the lyrics online, I can honestly apply a lot of the sentiment to my philosophy on this running thing. Of course Mr. Mathers was surely rapping about something else entirely, but the nice thing about music is you can make it what you want. What it means to you is just that – what it means to you. Here is the chorus to the song:

“‘Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak
And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that **** out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse”

What’s kind of funny to me is that the fear that kept me from running at first was the fear of falling flat on my face. And if I do, I do. Whatever. In the song he talks about inner strength, but my strength does not come from within. My strength comes from God. He gives me the strength I need, when I need it. So when I feel like quitting, that is where I turn.  I will look to my Savior to keep me going. He has never failed me, never left my side, and together we will run this race!

Marriage

17 Years and counting

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Today was my 17th wedding anniversary. I don’t really have much to say about the matter. My brain feels a little fried right now. But we had a really good weekend together. The kids were at Grandma’s for the weekend so it was nice to be able to relax and get some adult conversation in now and then.

I think what’s worth saying right now is that I am more in love with my husband than I was 17 years ago. Well, maybe not more, but different. Richer, fuller, a more complete love. Not so much “in love” but simply “love”. Both the feeling and the choice. A love that’s proved itself over and over. “For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” We meant every word of our wedding vows, and if you need proof, just look at what we have been through over the years, and what we have endured – together – and you’ll see how true that is. I did a lot of reflecting and remembering this weekend, recalling memories of our early years together, and it was nice, but I wouldn’t ever consider going back. What we had 17 years ago was special, but it has evolved into something even better. It really just keeps getting better.

I am especially thankful today for my husband. He makes me laugh like no one else can, he can read my thoughts and moods (he often knows me better than I do), he calls me out on my bullshit, and above all, he has my back. I don’t know where I would be without him. Mike, if you read this far – I love you more!