Week 4 did not go as planned. Thankfully, I’m stil early in my training and can make adjustments as they are needed. Tuesday’s short run turned out to be a long walk, because I was having some abdominal cramping. Thursday’s run was relocated to the treadmill due to the high AQI (Air Quality Index) in our area. Canada is still battling wildfires and the smoke has been so far reaching it’s affected much of Michigan. So I stayed indoors to be safe, but when I got on the treadmill I was having a really hard time getting my legs going, so I ended up walking the bulk of the time just like Tuesday. These long walks didn’t exactly set me up well for Saturday’s planned 13 mile run.

I watched the AQI closely all day Friday, and I was reluctantly prepared to run 13 miles on the treadmill. However, when I woke up Saturday morning, the AQI had fallen to a safe level so I happily filled my hydration vest and headed out the door!

It took me about 3 or 4 miles to really wrap my head and heart around this run. My legs were feeling clunky and sluggish, but I persisted. I think it was at the end of my 4th mile when I really felt like I was moving smoothly and I was actually enjoying myself. I was especially happy that the trail as it goes under the highway was not flooded, which gained me access to the bridge (pictured below) and of course more scenic trail to run.

I reached my turnaround point at 6.5 miles and paused for a selfie (below). Can you see I’m still smiling? I had shared smiles with a lot of passing bikers and dog walkers by this point and was feeling pretty great.

A little farther down the trail after my halfway point I was still feeling good! I was not worried about my time, and I made a point to stop and get these pictures of the beautiful spots along the way. In the past I’ve been so driven with my training runs I was not stopping much to enjoy the scenery. I’m glad I did this day because I have them as a reminder that the long run was *mostly* good.

But then, after I hit 9ish miles I started to slow down. I noticed a sharp pain forming on the inside of my left knee. Being cautious, I walked for awhile, hoping it would calm down. It did not calm down. As I walked I weighed my options. I could walk the 3 miles home, taking shortcuts where I could, or I could call and have my husband pick me up. By 10 miles I decided I didn’t want to risk permanent injury, and I called my husband. I hate doing this. My pride hurt almost worse than my knee did.

When this sort of thing happens I panic a bit. I am 45 years old with M.S. I have only been running for 8 years. What am I thinking? Am I pushing my body past what it is capable of doing? Am I going to break myself beyond repair and have to drop out of the marathon, or worse, never be able to run again? I don’t have good answers to these questions, but I am not quitting. Not even close. I am stubborn as hell, and I will continue working towards my goal until I am forced to stop. So I’m taking this week not as a failure, but as a learning lesson. What can I do different in my training? What can I change up in my strategy that allows me to build endurance more safely? My brother suggested breaking up my long runs into two shorter runs on the same day, and I may try that on the next one. I’m researching all things “marathon training” and am eager to learn more. (If you have knowledge and suggestions, I’m all ears!)

What I wanted to share was a thought I had after passing that 4 mile mark. It’s hard to describe without sounding corny, but miles 5 through 9 felt like bliss. I felt so free and comfortable in my body, which is no small miracle. Ever since losing my hearing and vision, I have had to accept the general unease I feel on a constant basis. Not hearing well, not seeing well, this is a difficult state to be living in. It causes me a great deal of anxiety and frustration and I still struggle with that daily. So to feel so *comfortable* out on the trails, after having run that many miles, was amazing. I felt as if I was exactly where I belonged. And to think that I hated running prior to 2016, and I really only started as a “what if I could?” experiment. Running has been such a gift and miracle in my life and I hope to keep at it as long as my legs keep allowing me to.

So to recap, I ran (and/or walked) 16.49 miles this week for a grand total (including my half marathon training and race) of 251.95 miles. Week 4 is complete and I have 15 weeks to go! Stay tuned folks, and we’ll be back next week for another update from Marathon Mel 🙂