Family, Holidailies 2014, Housekeeping, Piper

Forced relaxation

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I know, that’s sort of an oxymoron. Let me explain.

Within the past year of changes and adjustments, you could say I had grown a bit obsessive, perhaps even compulsive, about keeping our house clean and clutter-free. Which is nice, but is not without some underlying stress. Because when that order is disrupted in any way, Momma has been known to blow a gasket. So I had been working hard at not blowing gaskets, and it wasn’t really working all that well. Because the pressure is always still there, building and growing under the surface. Holding it all in proves to be very exhausting.

But now we have this puppy. This puppy that I wanted, and am determined to love the way she deserves to be loved. But this puppy is, as puppies typically are, a handful. Piper is actually rather laid back, probably more so than your typical puppy, but she still loves to chew and she is not yet potty trained. So she requires nearly constant attention. And that interferes with my previously established housekeeping routines. Which is hard for me to accept, but I have not once forgotten that having a puppy was something I chose. I signed up for this, and I am determined to make it work.

I’ve been walking around full of anxiety since we brought her home on Sunday, afraid of what would happen if she pooped in the house. Do you know she pooped in the hallway this morning and the house did not come crashing down? In fact, my vision of feces smeared all over the walls and floors – and who knows what else – did not become a reality. Everything was okay. If she poops, she poops. Clean it up and move on.

See, each new day gets a smidge better, for two reasons. One, she is learning what is acceptable here in her new home. Two, I am becoming more comfortable with imperfection. That’s a big one for me, because I thought I WAS comfortable with imperfection, but what I’ve seen of myself these past few days is that it was all a lie. It was only true on the surface. Deep down I still craved perfection, and was deeply unnerved when I didn’t have it.

That deep unnerving, that inner irritation, the precursor to every blown gasket, is slow torture, and it does no one any good. It makes for a miserable me, and then I end up taking it out on my family. They don’t deserve the miserable me. The tense, wound up, nagging woman has to go. I want my house  to be a peaceful place  to come home to. This new adjustment, this life with a new puppy, is forcing me to be okay with a little imperfection. Thanks to Piper, I think we’re headed in the right direction.

Cochlear implant, Holidailies 2014

I didn’t even study!

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Today I went to the audiologist for a special balance test, to make sure a second cochlear implant would not be detrimental. I am pleased to report that I passed my electronystagmogram with flying colors (well, actually just the one… a red dot). Also referred to as an ENG, it measures your eye movements, while you wear some pretty gnarly goggles and follow a moving red light with your eyes. But that’s not the best part. The best part is when they lay you back and blow hot and cold air, alternatively, into your ears. Meanwhile, all that is required of you is to keep your eyes open. And since you are not permitted to consume caffeine 48 hours prior to the test, this proved rather difficult for me. Thankfully the audiologist let me keep my current implant on, so I could hear her instructions. And her constant reminders to keep my eyes open.

After the test they brought me to an exam room to get my blood pressure and talk to the surgeon. The nurse asked how the test went, and I told her it went pretty well, though it was a challenge keeping my eyes open, not having been allowed to have caffeine. She didn’t realize that was a requirement for the test, and sympathized with me immediately. In fact, she was helpful enough to tell me of the coffee shop down the hall. This turned out to be extremely helpful news, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a cup of coffee so delicious. But maybe it was just that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Either way, I was extremely thankful for it.

So the conclusion of the day is that the surgeon and audiologist have both given their approval, and we are just waiting for insurance to offer theirs as well. Two out of three so far, and hopefully soon we’ll be scheduled surgery. I will say I am still a smidge nervous about getting a second implant, but am confident that this will be a good thing. I’ve heard from many other bilateral CI recipients and all of them have wonderful things to say about it. It only gets better from here!

Family, Holidailies 2014, Piper

Puppy Life

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I posted previously an announcement – by way of haiku – that we bought a puppy. This is life altering for all of us. We had cats when the kids were younger, but it was the cats who were here first, so the kids never experienced the arrival of a new pet. And for that matter, I am kind of new at this too. Bringing home a kitten is much different than bringing home a puppy. We had dogs growing up, but I’ve never been much of a “dog person”. And I’ve never had a puppy. Puppies are messy, right? They certainly aren’t potty-trained, and that gives me great anxiety. I follow her around just waiting for her to tinkle or worse all over my clean floors. Great anxiety, I tell you. But then I keep telling myself it’s okay, and these are just messes that can be cleaned up. I really need to learn to relax, and this puppy is certainly giving me opportunity to practice that.

You see, I’m learning that sometimes change is good. And so far, this change has been good. Granted, it’s only been 20 hours, but already I sense positive change. When my family is home, they are far more interested in playing with the puppy, petting the puppy, staring at the puppy, than playing video games or otherwise vegging out in front of a tv or computer screen. Everyone loves the puppy. And who wouldn’t? She’s adorable. She has these dark, soulful eyes that melt your heart. And she is bonding so quickly with us. Of course she loves Luke the best, clearly, and we are all kind of okay with that. It’s an unspoken knowing, that she belongs to him. A boy and his dog. It’s a precious thing to see. He and Natalie have chosen the name Piper, which I believe Mike and I have agreed to keep (Ruger was our first choice) simply because the kids chose it and it gives them a sense of pride and ownership.

We took Piper with us to the bus stop this morning, and the bus driver was very excited to meet our new family member. I think it broke Natalie’s heart to say goodbye, but I’m sure it will get easier as the days go on. I loved walking back to the house with her, as it removed that empty, lonely feeling I’m usually left with. And then bringing her into the house brought back the anxiety as I tried to keep an eye on her as I fixed my breakfast and coffee. I was worried she would crawl off in another room and either relieve herself – yet again – or chew up the rug. I quickly discovered I didn’t have much to worry about because she wanted to stay right by me. Until she didn’t, and walked away while I finished putting the jam on my English muffin. That’s when I found her in the living room, napping peacefully.

And there she has been, the entire time I’ve been writing this. Oh my sweet heavens, this is even better than I thought it would be.

Food, Holidailies 2014

Who knows how many knives

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Brian Regan on Goober PB&J – ““You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I’m not gonna open two jars. I can’t be opening and closing all kinds of jars. And who knows how many knives!”

Today I made PB&J sandwiches for the kids. They both wanted different flavored jam, so that made for three knives. I made myself a sandwich with the strawberry jam, which is what my son had, so I didn’t have to dirty more knives. And then when I sat down to eat it, he asked for another sandwich. And I had already put the knives in the sink. So I gave him my sandwich and headed to the kitchen to make a new something for myself. Only I was frustrated with the three dirty knives, and thought five would just be over the top, so I opted for a bologna sandwich, requiring only one additional dirty knife for the mayonnaise. So four, four was good. And then Mike came home and decided he wanted a PB&J as well, only I think he read the look on my face immediately, and wisely opted to make it himself.

So, three plus one plus two = 39 dirty knives in the sink. And that was the worst part of my day, so I can’t complain. I wish you a joyous evening and may God grant you no more dirty knives than you can handle.

Uncategorized

Sick days.

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My daughter was running a fever yesterday, so per the school’s 24-hour fever-free policy, we are keeping her home today. Also, I have a pretty horrendous headache. I am not very tolerant of headaches, and thankfully I don’t get them often. Around once a month, actually. They are sort of on a schedule, if you ladies know what I mean.

So… Natalie and I are having a pajama type of day. Not necessarily lazy, but not real productive either. She is sitting next to me, doing a lot of very detailed drawing, while I research and do work on the computer. Though my head is pounding so I think I need to take a break from the screen and go lie down.

Yes, yes, this is a very pathetic sounding blog post. And serving no real purpose other than to keep up with the daily writing. And now to the couch I go…

Kids

Lazy afternoons

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Kids had a half day today and we are making the most of it! Stories were read, puzzles were assembled, and I got my butt whooped at Skipbo Jr. Now Natalie is sleeping off a fever (she may stay home with me tomorrow) and Luke is creating a story book. I showed him a book I had “published” when I was 11 and he loved it! He thought it was a good story but that he could have done better illustrations. He’s probably right, but I would like to see him try. It’s refreshing to see him enjoying a creative project for a change. Sure beats Minecraft!

Food, Holidailies 2014, Photos

Today’s potato soup

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I’m not much of a cook, but I am learning to master some basics, like easy pasta dishes, perfectly-cooked bacon, chicken noodle soup, and as pictured below: potato soup.

My mother-in-law taught me years ago how to make it, but with the years I neglected the practice. I was working full-time, going back to college, having babies, etc. But now that I am home all day I have the time to play around. And with time and the cooperation of my family (well, my husband at least) I am gaining more courage to try new things.

Not that potato soup requires a lot of courage. It’s hard to go wrong with potatoes, butter, and milk. But I don’t like a dull soup, so I add things, tasting as I go. Today’s batch was by far my favorite. I used sautéed onions, salt and pepper, garlic powder, dill weed, corn, and ham. The dill weed I added because I tasted the soup and felt it needed a little more sweetness. After sniffing around the spice cabinet and taking a suggestion from the internet, dill weed proved to be the perfect addition.  I added the corn and the ham at the end since they don’t need so much time to cook (the ham was already fully cooked). The ham and corn turned out to be good choices, and made for a hearty soup. We have a ton leftover, so I may just freeze the rest and save it for later. I love having leftovers for my lunches, but you can only eat so much potato soup.

So, in lieu of a cohesive conclusion to this post… Here’s to potato soup, and trying new things!

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Holidailies 2014, Kids

She just knows

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Despite our best attempts to inform our children of the real meaning and origins of Christmas, our daughter has apparently taken on a different belief. Last night she informed me, ever so matter-of-factly (it’s a word, just roll with it) that Santa is real. When asked how she can be so sure, she told me that he told her himself when she was a baby. And if that isn’t enough proof for you, also because he is at the mall.

I just love 5-year old logic, don’t you?

Oh, and when I asked how he could possibly known when and where to be at every mall so all the kids could visit him, she laughed in my face. As if I was joking, asking such a simple question with such an obvious answer.  The obvious answer that she has yet to share with me.

The thing is, knowing my daughter’s sense of humor, I don’t know for sure if she really believes Santa is real or if she is just messing with me. Knowing her, it’s the latter. Which amuses me to know end and leaves me feeling very, very proud.

Food, Kids, Photos

Secret ingredient soup

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My kids may kill me for stuff like this some day, but I like to live on the edge. Luke and Natalie both love Ramen noodle soup – or, as we like to call it around here (for you Kung Fu Panda fans) – “Secret Ingredient Soup”. It’s easy to make (I use half the seasoning packet) but all the noodle slurping involved with eating them gets quite messy.

I have captured some precious Secret Ingredient Soup moments for you with a couple of photos.

Please note the concentration and gusto displayed by the boy as he eats. And then note that the young lady is enjoying some light reading while she scarfs giant gobs of noodles into her face. That is, if you call arachnology a light read.

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Sadly, that’s all this writer has today. Happy Monday!

 

Deaf and half-blind runner with multiple sclerosis