Category Archives: Kids

God speaks, Kids

Be brave

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A friend told me once that boys really do a lot of changing around the age of 7, as they start wanting to emulate their dads and other male role models.

I see this in my son. He is just now showing a bit of discomfort with being the “small” kid, but I think he is handling it well. The other night he wanted to read to me from his old preschooler’s Bible. In particular, he wanted to read about the guy who fought a lion with his bare hands, and the kid who fought the giant. So I found the stories of Samson and the lion, and David and Goliath, and he read them eagerly. I asked what his favorite part was about each story, and for both he said his favorite was that they were brave. He really connected with Samson and David, knowing that they were each small in comparison to their opponents, but that it didn’t matter. They were brave and God was with them. Just like God is with him.

I do hope that he carries these stories, and others like them, with them as he grows up. I know what it was like to be the smallest kid, the last one picked for dodgeball. It sucked, and I still have remnants of that mindset. Those fears held me back well into my thirties. I don’t want that to be the case for my kids. I want them to know that God is with them, so they can walk into every situation life throws at them with bravery and confidence. Just like Samson and David.

Cochlear implant, Decluttering, Kids, Multiple Sclerosis

Grandma Deb

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I had a heck of a week last week. All good. My mom was visiting from Oklahoma, and it was wonderful to spend time with her. On normal days we Skype, so it was refreshing to have real interaction. She came with me to my audiologist appointment, and then we went shopping and had lunch afterwards. That was Monday, when the kids are at daycare. We had the kids home the rest of the week, which changed everything. The kids had a great time with Grandma Deb, and she took them to Jumpin’ Jax (a local bounce-house playground type thing). She also got to see Luke play baseball, and we did some shopping for yarn so I can make afghans for the kids. She helped me sort through Natalie’s clothes for the items that no longer fit, and then took us to Goodwill to drop off a whole trunk load of stuff we no longer wanted.

So while we got a lot of work done around the house, we also had a lot of fun as well. We never did get to decluttering that damn hall closet. Oh well. I’ll get it handled eventually.

I have always been close with my mom, so it makes me happy to see the kids connecting with her so well. They each have a lot of her character in them, and it’s even more apparent to me when she’s around. Natalie has her artistic streak, loving drawing, coloring, and dancing; Luke has her creative problem solving abilities.

When we first planned this visit we expected that I would need more help, but I think we were both surprised at how well I was doing, especially with the kids. I was able to show Mom how well I can hear the kids now that I’m getting used to the cochlear implant, and also how well the kids were adjusting to it. I will always be making adjustments, but we’re headed in the right direction.

By the end of the week, I was pretty fatigued. Partly because of all the work we did, but partly because I was due for my monthly Tysabri infusion. It’s the medicine I take to manage and hopefully slow down the progression of multiple sclerosis. I noticed a few months back that I get more and more tired leading up to the next infusion. So, three weeks of fairly normal energy levels, and one week of rapidly progressing fatigue. It’s good that I can recognize this, so I’m not feeling hopelessly frustrated to be so doggone tired for no good reason. It’s unfortunate that Mom happened to be here on that fourth week of fatigue, but in a way I’m grateful, because she was happy to help and quick to recognize when I needed to rest. And, being my mother, she is not shy about telling me to take a nap when I need it.

All in all, it was a great week. Summer is flying by, and the kids will be back to school in no time. We plan to continue to enjoy every moment we are given, and thank God for all the blessings. Carpe diem!

Kids

R.I.P. Caramel Lollipop

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Oh, my daughter. Such a tender heart, with emotions very close to the surface. She cries easily, and shows very real emotion. Most times it makes me feel sad too, to see her hurting.

Not this time.

This time she was sad because the caramel lollipop she was eating was now gone. “It was so precious, I didn’t want to eat it!” And yet she did.

Let’s pause for a moment of silence to remember and honor the precious caramel lollipop.

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Housekeeping, Kids
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Somehow I went from having no worries about tomorrow, to worrying about today. Argh. Sometimes I drive myself crazy.

I really want to teach my kids good habits, like being polite and cleaning up after themselves. But in order to do that, I need to 1) Be consistent and 2) Remember I’m the one in charge. I think my son knows that I enjoy having him home and that I want to give him good things, and he sometimes uses that to his advantage. And my daughter is just young and strong-willed.

So tomorrow we are starting a new day, with a new resolve to be consistent with my expectations and remember that I have the final say. No snacking on junk unless we have eaten a good, healthy meal. No “screen” time until our latest mess is cleaned up. And maybe others, but we’ll start small so we can focus on making those things habit.

What do you think? Any suggestions? Do your kids struggle with manners or keeping their rooms and other play areas tidy? I am all ears, so if you have any tips or suggestions on this subject, please share!

 

Cochlear implant, Deafness, Kids

Re-learning to talk to Momma

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I don’t think I’ve mentioned it, but last year, very shortly after I lost my hearing, I also got very sick and was struggling to stay awake. I guess you could say I had “checked out”. In addition to falling asleep all the time, I couldn’t answer simple questions, and I was losing touch with everyone and everything. It was very scary. One thing that grieved me the most at the time was the way my children were affected. In particular, my daughter. She was 3 years old then, and had no idea how to communicate with me. She was lost, seeing me lost, and she just sort of gave up on me. Once I got better and regained my cognition, it broke my heart to discover the major disconnect between us.

My mom had flown in to stay with me as I recovered, and it took her two seconds to see what had happened with Natalie. She didn’t waste any time teaching Natalie how to communicate with me, telling her to make sure she looks at me when she speaks, and to speak slowly, and use hand gestures and simple ASL. Natalie soaked it up like a sponge. As she saw me respond to her, she opened right back up. What my mom did was such a gift. When I thought I had lost my daughter, she found a way to give her back to me.

And now? Now, as I’m learning to hear again with this cochlear implant, I am having to teach my kids all over again how to *talk* to me. Audibly! As it turns out, my daughter had a habit of mouthing her words to me, with no sound, so I’m having to continually remind her to use sound. And as I remind her throughout the day, she gets better and better.  Just in the past couple of days she is really picking up on the “normal talking to Momma” thing, and I am loving hearing what she has to say. She has a fabulous, sweet, funny personality. And I sat her down after her bath tonight and told her so. I told her that I had really missed talking with her, and I am so thankful for my “new ear” so that I can hear what she has to say, and I can hear her giggle when she makes a joke, and of course I started to cry as I was telling her this. But this girl, she understands “happy cries”, and she was not shaken or scared. In fact, she threw off her bath towel and stretched her arms out to give me the best hug ever. And we held each other while I silently sobbed on her shoulder.  

I’ve had these sorts of moments with Luke as well, but I have a different sort of connection with him. Luke and Natalie are so unique, yet both possess the same kindness and understanding. Luke has done very well with the changes my implant has brought. He still likes to use ASL to ask to play video games, but I don’t correct him. I think he does it both out of habit and for fun. When he makes a loud noise or laughs, he knows I can hear him so he looks over at me and smiles his big (toothless) grin, seeing that I’ve heard, and we just stare at each other with sparkles in our eyes and joy in our hearts.

I am starting to really experience what one of my new cochlear implanted friends always signs her messages with… with CI joy,

 

Decluttering, Kids, Memories

Tripping down Memory Lane and stuff

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Today marks the first official day of summer break, since both my kids are out of school. Of course, it’s Monday so they are at daycare, which makes it strange, but nice. We decided to only send them to daycare on Mondays, which still gives them play time with their friends, and gives me a much needed, uninterrupted start to the week. A planning day, if you will. My to-do list is pretty much the same as usual; water flowers, sweep floors, clean kitchen, clean bathrooms. I added ‘purge emails’ to the list because I have over 1000 emails stored and I think it’s the reason my phone keeps telling me my memory is full. And when that happens, no texts come in or go out, and it’s frustrating. So I am widdling away at it.

I have emails as far back as 2007, so it will take some time. I don’t know why they are all still there, I think a good portion of them are emails I sent that are now in gmail folders I had set up for automated categorizing (seemed like a good idea at the time). But I don’t lead an FPU class anymore, and I’m not preparing tax returns, so all of that can go. Most of it is junk. Amazon purchase confirmations from free apps I downloaded for the kids on my Kindle, stuff like that. Some of it I’ve found so far has been interesting to read, however. Notes of encouragement I sent to friends, sending thank you messages to people who helped me in one way or another. Notes to friends just to say hi because it had been too long. It’s interesting to read these words I wrote so long ago, because my recollection is that I was a terrible, neglectful friend, who was too busy with my own life to reach out to others. But these emails scattered over the years tell me that those recollections are not all true.

It’s funny how our memories fail us, don’t you think? I think it’s good to look back sometimes. I have forgotten so much, but stuff like those emails serve to remind me of the good that I forgot. I have a great husband and great friends who do the same for me. They’ll remind me of something that happened, or a prayer that had been answered, and it feels so refreshing when the memory comes flooding back. I thank God for those moments, for those people.

Do you have a good memory that you’ve recently been reminded of?

Food, Housekeeping, Kids, Motherhood

I am not opposed to bribing the children

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I had a wonderful afternoon with my son today. It was his last day of school, and it was a half day, so he spent the rest of it with me. Natalie went to daycare as it was still “officially” a school week, and that’s where she always went on Fridays during the school year. So Luke and I had some quality time. We ate hot dogs for lunch, snacked on carrot sticks and hummus, and had a good talk about what it’s going to be like being home with Momma this summer. I told him that I expect him and Natalie to have fun and make messes, but to clean up the messes before moving onto the next. I’ll be monitoring them and scoring them using the reward chart app on my Kindle. They will be able to earn stars by cleaning up after themselves, putting away laundry, helping Momma, etc.

Luke is totally on board with this idea and he already had an idea for a reward to work towards. I was thinking smaller rewards, to keep it going on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, but he had something bigger in mind. He wants to go on vacation to Great Wolf Lodge. I want to know who told him about this place, and thank them (<sarcasm font>?), but he tells me he saw a commercial. When? He hardly ever watches tv? Ah, he must have been at Grandpa’s house. We’ll talk later.

Anyway, hopefully a vacation is big enough and exciting enough to dangle above their heads and keep them in line through the summer. We’ll see. I suspect Natalie will lose interest with the reward chart and end up just following Luke’s lead. They are very close, even though they are 2.5 years apart. Also, she loves a clean room, so sometimes that’s all the motivation she needs (she did inherit *some* of my traits).

Oh! I can’t leave you without mentioning the new friends we met! There is an older couple who live around the corner from us, and they remember when Mike was a little boy (he grew up in the house we live in). We ran into them last night at the park at the end of our street. Their grandchildren are visiting for the week, so they were letting them play. Today Luke asked to go over to their house to play, so I accompanied him so that I could exchange phone numbers and make sure it was okay. Turns out, the woman knows my old boss and his wife, and their children. Small world there. And, she knows ASL! Because she used to teach deaf children! Get out of town! So she was using all kinds of ASL with me, and was able to share in my excitement about my upcoming ci activation. And then we scheduled an official playdate next week with the kids at the local waterpark. So exciting.

Oh, and ice cream. Natalie and I whipped up some brownies after dinner and threw them in the oven. I sat down to wait, but 30 seconds later Luke comes to me, excited that Daddy is taking him to Quality Dairy to get an ice cream cone. Mike asks if I want to come too. I am a sucker for ice cream in a cone. So yes, I’m in. We got our ice cream and drove back home and I am trying to sit down to finish the melting messy thing, and Mike and Natalie are trying to get my attention. “What? I’m having a moment here!” They are pointing to the kitchen. Because the oven timer is going off. And of course I can’t hear it. Yup. The brownies are Done. Thankfully they were only in for a few minutes longer than they needed to be, and since I always plan to undercook my baked desserts, they turned out just fine.

I am absolutely loving my new life. Why? Because I’m IN it. No longer working my tail off for some unrealistic expectation or human ideal. Just enjoying my family and friends and all that that entails.