Category Archives: God speaks

Deep thoughts, God speaks, Hearing Loss

Timing

1 Comment

I get these daily Upper Room devotionals sent to my email. I For the past couple of months I’ve been deleting them along with the rest of my junk mail, without even opening them to see what the subject of the day was.

Today for some reason I decided to open the email.

The subject? Hearing aids. More specifically, that it is such a gift that we don’t have to have perfect hearing to hear from God. He finds ways to speak to us in all sorts of ways. We just have to be listening. Well, I’m listening now.

I love how God sneaks his way back in to my wandering heart.

Deep thoughts, God speaks

Jesus is my healer

1 Comment

Sometimes I wonder if God wants me to share something, and I’ll pray about it, and I’ll journal, and I’ll wait. And then he shows me a Scripture or a sign or I just have a serious prompting in my heart that makes it clear that yes, I should share this. And this is one of those stories.

As I was chatting with a friend Sunday  about illness, dark times, and recovery (her dad recently went through quite a bit with a cancer scare), she brought up the time I was so sick I was sleeping all day long. She told me of when she took me for walks to try to wake me up, and specifically a time she took me to Office Max. As we were walking through the store she had to catch me because I fell asleep standing up. This astounded me. I knew it had been bad, but I had no idea how bad. Then another friend joined in the conversation and told me about people visiting in the hospital. Most of the people she listed, I don’t even remember seeing there. It was surreal, hearing these stories and feeling as if they were talking about someone else. It brought me to tears.

So I went home Sunday contemplating all of this. Later that day, Mike affirmed the gravity of the situation when he told me the nights I was in the hospital he wouldn’t sleep – couldn’t sleep – because he was so afraid of losing me. That brought me to tears again, picturing where he was, and what he had to deal with. And it just made me so… so… THANKFUL. And that night I fell asleep praising God for everything; my life, my husband, kids, friends, family.

This morning I read a story of Jesus healing 10 lepers, and in essence it was God answering my question – “should I share?” –  Luke 17:14-19 – “When he saw them he said to them, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. Now he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, ‘Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine? Was no one found to return and give praise to God except this foreigner?’ And he said to him, ‘Rise and go your way; your faith has made you well.’”

So I guess this is me, turning back to praise God with a loud voice and giving thanks to Jesus. He is still in the healing business.

Cochlear implant, God speaks, Multiple Sclerosis

Trusting God’s Timing

2 Comments

Here’s what I love about God: He shows himself in the timing of things. I don’t even know if that’s Biblical, but it seems to happen for me. Maybe it’s just how He likes to communicate with us who are “type A” and live by their calendars. It certainly sends a clear message to me, that is for sure. April 13th, which was the day 2nd CI surgery was originally scheduled, means nothing to me. And when I was in that hospital bathroom to give them a second sample for testing, I was praying over that cup of pee. You can laugh at that – I did – but it’s true. I was praying that if the surgery was meant to be that day, that He would remove all infection from that cup. And with that prayer, I told God that either way, I was trusting in His timing, not mine.

Well, if you read my last post, you know what happened. It was not to be on April 13th. Much has transpired since that day, so let me try to break it down for you.

  1. The insurance approval was effective until May 10th, so the surgery was rescheduled for May 8th. My 1st CI was implanted on May 9th, 2014.
  2. My surgeon wants me to get another urinalysis done one week prior to the surgery.
  3. I have been taking Vitamin D supplements per my neurologist’s recommendation, and when I finish them I need to get new blood work. I take my last pill this week, which means I need to get the blood work done next week.
  4. My Tysabri infusions for MS are every 4 weeks, and my next one is due April 29th(next week).

What this means is that my infusion, blood work, and urinalysis, all have come due in the same week, the week prior to my 2nd CI surgery. A 2nd CI surgery that will come one year, almost to the day, after my 1st CI. And! All three procedures/tests can be done at the same building, which makes for seamless Spec-Tran ride scheduling.

All of these things, combined, make this Type-A girl’s heart happy, and assures me that God really is in control. Because I could not have planned it better myself.

Exodus 14:14 – “The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still.”

God speaks

When strivings cease

Leave a comment

Part of a song lyric popped into my head this morning, and it stuck real good so I wanted to share.

“When strivings cease.” It’s from one of my favorite worship songs, called “In Christ Alone”. I believe much of the lyrics from the song were derived from Psalm 46, so I looked it up (it’s also copied below, for your convenience). I found that this particular Psalm was written during a time of war and natural disasters. The writer of this Psalm was tired; tired of fighting and tired of being afraid. When he talks about striving, he means it. But then he turns to God. He recognizes that God is in ultimate control and believes He was telling him to stop trying so hard. “Stop striving, I’ll handle this.” He didn’t necessarily say he would end the battle anytime soon. He just said He would be there through all of it.

This reminds me of Exodus 14:14, where it says “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” This seems to be a recurring theme throughout the Bible, and consequently in my life as well as others who are struggling with any sort of “battle”. If that’s you – please know these words are true for you – Stop striving. Be still. The Lord is fighting your battle. Rest in Him.

Psalm 46:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

God speaks

Who’s leading whom?

1 Comment

Our pastor gave us a great analogy at church yesterday. He has been doing a series on hearing from God, and yesterday he said that as we are listening to what God is saying, we need to be willing to follow His lead. To illustrate his point, he told us about a trick he learned from a fellow dog lover. The problem was that on walks, the dog was always pulling on the leash and trying to run ahead. The advice? Never let the dog be the first one out of the house. That way they know who the leader is, and it’s NOT them.

I was slightly blown away by this story for two reasons. One, it makes so much sense, I can’t believe we hadn’t thought of it ourselves. I was immediately anxious to try it with our dog (which I did today, and it was surprisingly successful). Two, how many times do I rush out the door ahead of God in my life? How many times in a day?

I’m constantly making my own decisions. Many of my major life decisions were made without much, if any, input or guidance from God. Sometimes I wasn’t listening, but other times I wasn’t even asking. This is not to say I never ask, or never listen. Many times I do. And those are the times worth mentioning.

This blog, for example, wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for God’s pressing on my heart and clear message to resume writing (I first started blogging in 2004. Wrote my own html!).  Dating and marrying my husband only happened after countless hours of heartfelt prayer. I was so fed up with dating by the time I met Mike, I wanted to be absolutely sure that he was part of God’s plan for my life before I would make any commitments. And here we are, 16 years later, still madly in love.

I firmly believe that when we let God go first, by letting Him lead our journeys, we will be blessed. Not that there won’t be hard times along the way (Piper and I had a few missteps with puddles and such), but overall it makes for a more peaceful, joyful, and rewarding trip. As I am encouraged to let God lead the way in my day to day life, I encourage you to do the same. Let’s just see where He takes us!

Family, God speaks, Kids, Parenting

Parenting with grace, and do-overs

1 Comment

Last night the local Parks and Recreation held a daddy/daughter dance. Mike and Natalie were signed up to go. They were both pretty excited about it, and I was excited for them.

And then, our daughter decided to “accidentally” steal two cell phones from the adults at school (one teacher, one parent).

Part of her punishment was that she would not be attending the dance with her dad. And that broke our hearts. It would have been lovely, getting them all dressed up for a real date. Daddy and his precious little girl. She was devastated to learn they would not be going, and we were too. We want to do nice things for our children, and to make memorable experiences. But not at the expense of teaching them they can get away with lying, stealing, or cheating.

I believe this is a lesson – an experience – Natalie will remember for years to come. Of course as a parent you would rather your children  only have warm, fuzzy memories of childhood, but that doesn’t necessarily prepare them for life on their own out in the real world, does it? They will have it all: the good, the bad, and the ugly.

I know there are a million worse things, but right now this feels like the ugly. This morning I saw other dads had posted pictures with their daughters, all dolled up and ready for the dance. My heart broke all over again.

We want to bless our children. We want to give them good things. But when they go and make mistakes like lying or stealing, they ruin it for themselves, don’t they?

This is not a new concept. This theme, this story, has been occurring over and over and over again, since the very beginning of time. Ever hear of Adam and Eve? Wow. God had so much to give them. They were living in paradise. No worries, not a care in the world. God looked forward to blessing them. He wanted so badly to give them good things.

And then they listened to that damn snake.

I think I now have an inkling of what God was feeling at that moment. His heart was broken, just as mine is over my daughter stealing. Dang it girl, why did you have to go and do that? You would have had such a wonderful time at that dance. I’m just heartbroken. And angry. But angry FOR her, not AT her. It’s an anger that comes from a place of deep, deep love. Wanting to give her good things. Just like our Father God. He wants to give us good things, good experiences, and it breaks His heart when we screw it up.

But! We get second chances, and thirds, and fourths, and so on. God’s grace is endless. I am so grateful for that. Do-overs are the best! In fact, we decided to give Natalie a do-over. We are giving her the chance to earn a night out at the movies with her second favorite person: Momma.

Deafness, God speaks, Multiple Sclerosis

Wasting away

Leave a comment

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:17-18 ESV)

Don’t I know it? I am 36 years young, yet daily I struggle with aches and pains and fatigue and several other issues more commonly associated with aging. I have my Kindle set with larger, high contrast fonts, and in my kitchen I have a special phone that offers live captioning for all my calls. I don’t use a walking cane on a regular basis, but that reality is not far off.

This is why I cling to such promises. This life here, this failing body of mine, is temporary. What really lasts, and what really matters, is what’s going on inside my heart. As of this moment, this heart is strong. Resilient, full of hope. I believe much of that strength is a result of the trials I have been through. So rather than wallow in regret or sadness, I choose today to smile and thank God for carrying me through. May I forever remain in the palm of his hand.

God speaks, Thankfulness Challenge

TC#18 – Good morning, Lord

Leave a comment

This is the 18th entry for the thankfulness challenge, hence the TC#18. Get it? Good.

I am a morning person. Yes, I like my sleep, but I don’t particularly care for “sleeping in”. I feel like when I do, I’ve wasted half the day. And my mind seems to work best in the morning. Plus, coffee.

This morning as I was walking back from the kids’ bus stop, I turned a corner and was stopped in my tracks. It was the sun, rising up through the wooded area behind our neighborhood. It was as if all of a sudden it lit up the sky. And I felt it. God was saying “good morning” and reminding me He was there.

So today I am thankful for the sun, and that it rises faithfully. Every. Single. Day.

God speaks, Thankfulness Challenge

Thankful challenge day 9

Leave a comment

Today I am thankful for the intimate ways God speaks to me. I read Scripture every morning as part of a reading plan set by the creator of the Kindle app I use (OliveTree), and every week our pastor somehow manages to preach on a subject or read an exact verse that I have read that week. I was a few days behind on my reading, and today’s Scripture was about the parable of the sower. And what did we hear about at church on Sunday? You got it! We learned about planting seeds, sharing our faith with others, and letting God do the rest. It’s a great lesson, and I feel I learn it best through repetition, so I’m extremely grateful that God works with me and has patience as I slowly grasp these concepts. Thank you Jesus! 🙂

Friends, God speaks, Miracles do happen

Let me introduce you to a friend of mine

Leave a comment

I started this post last night, but it was while I had the television on, so I was distracted. I scrapped it, because when you want to share an important message, “distracted” is a crappy mindset to be in. This morning I’m trying to go with “honest” and “clear minded”. Here goes…

I saw Jesus yesterday. Not literally, of course, but real enough. I hesitate to write publicly about this because I want to be respectful of others’ privacy and personal lives, but I hope she will understand the underlying desire to share the powerful message her life is speaking. Who is she? She is a dear friend from my church. Someone who I felt a connection to from the beginning, because when we met two short years ago, she was having difficulty walking, as I do many days. It looked like MS, though doctors were still working on a diagnosis at the time. After many months of waiting for more testing to be done, a diagnosis was made.

My friend has ALS. Also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease, ALS is a debilitating, incurable, fatal neurological disease. The nerves that tell her body to do the most basic and necessary functions are quickly dying. In a very short amount of time she has had to deal with loss after loss after loss. She is dependent on her husband and countless others for everything: eating, bathing, dressing, sleeping. Not only that, but she is an extrovert. Being stuck at home has to be one of the hardest changes for her. Amongst all the rest.

But rest assured, there is a positive message here. You see, I never leave her house feeling sorry for her. In fact, I always leave feeling more blessed and amazed. Not because she is a great woman, though she is amazing, but because I see something – someone – shining through her. When I see her, I see Jesus in those sparkling eyes. She is living in one of the most tragic of situations, and she still wears a smile and true light in her eyes. She is confident that this is not the end for her. She is looking forward to an eternity with her Savior. When her physical body breathes it’s last labored breath, she will be in heaven, dancing with her Jesus.

This is a woman who has devoted her life to serving Christ by mentoring others, and she hasn’t let ALS stop her. She continues to mentor others from her wheelchair using the telephone, computer, and voice commands. She still accepts visitors at her home, even though it may be uncomfortable for some to see her in her present state. Her body is dying, but her spirit is still very much alive. Of course, she has her bad days, but she lets herself have them and moves on. Every day is a gift, and she knows this with all of her heart. She chooses to life live to the fullest, every day, with all she’s got. And it may look to the human eye like that’s not much, but I know the opposite is true. She has Jesus living within her, giving her strength and peace and courage and hope. By letting Him shine through her, she is a true inspiration.

My hope here is a sort of “pay it forward” wish. I know that Christ’s strength and power is made perfect in our weakness. It’s true for my friend, and I want it to be true of me. I was dealt a crappy hand this past year, but I am determined to make the best of it. With strength I didn’t know I had, I am overcoming. I am 100% confident that that strength comes from knowing Jesus, and I want everyone to know Him too. So I suppose that’s the message. I’m not an evangelist. I’m not trying to be pushy. After all, you could have stopped reading this at any point, and you still can. But if you’ve made it this far, let me ask you this: have you met Jesus? Do you want to? I know He wants to meet you, and I would be glad to introduce you 🙂