Hi there. I feel the need to share the purpose for this blog, my desires for the topics I cover. For a lot of the time it’s just been stream of consciousness, letting you into my dull days. I believe I’m done with that. God has healed me of a lot of things over the last couple years and it’s changing me from the inside out. I’m told by those closest to me I seem the same, but I don’t often recognize myself. What’s changed? I don’t feel the compulsion to overshare. I’m not driven by my anxiety to do things in order for no better reason than to “check the box”.

How that translates here is that I struggle to think of things to blog about. It doesn’t mean I don’t have things going on in my life, it just means that most of it doesn’t fall into the category of what I want this blog to be. I want this blog to be a space for sharing my struggles and victories living with multiple sclerosis.

Right now I’m struggling hard with fatigue, which is no surprise as my monthly infusion is in two days. This means my body has basically used up last month’s dose. One thing that’s changed a little bit with the fatigue is that it doesn’t show as much physically, and I owe that to running and strength training more regularly. However, I am still mentally fatigued and that makes other things difficult. Reading, having conservations, it’s all very hit or miss right now. I probably won’t even go back and proof this post before posting because already I’m fading and can’t seem to complete a thought. I took my cochlear implants off so that I could write in silence, and that seemed to help a bit by eliminating auditory distractions (read: my dogs barking).

So I’m sure this post isn’t a complete thought, from start to finish. I don’t have the energy to proofread and edit. The flow is likely strange, and unfinished, but it hopefully gives you a glimpse into the mind of someone who is struggling with fatigue. It’s really so much more than just being tired. I often have to explain that to people, but less so post-Covid because that seems to be a symptom a lot of people struggled with. I’m not happy anyone had to go through that, but it was satisfying to know more people were able to really empathize with what I go through on a regular basis (that sounds so sinister, but it’s the truth).

And that is all for today, folks. My brain is toast. Back to bed I go. Love to you all 🙂

P.S. There are so many positive things I would love to share with you all, and I hope to do that soon! Hopefully after this next infusion I will have both the time and the energy.