My visual impairment is unnoticeable to others, usually. And then there are times you are trying to box up your own leftovers and it becomes comically evident that something isn’t right. I was out for breakfast with a friend and had ordered a delicious breakfast burrito. I was only able to eat two-thirds of it because it was enormous. So naturally, I asked the server for a box to take my leftovers home. No problem, he said. Then he quickly came back and set a foil box on the table. Gone are the days where they box up your leftovers for you, which I am a-okay with. However, I struggle a bit with doing it myself. I shoveled my leftover burrito into the box and then felt around, searching for the lid. I asked my friend, where’s the lid? With an amused smile, no doubt holding back a hearty chuckle, she said, “It’s inside the foil. You put your burrito on it. May I?” She says this as she’s motioning toward the box to offer to fix it for me. The lid was a transparent plastic that sat inside the foil box, and I had just placed my food on top of it, believing I was setting it directly on the foil. Thankfully the lid was upside down, so all she had to do was flip it over with the burrito into the foil dish and all was well.

After that slight debacle, the server came back and patiently waited the 38 minutes it took me to read the receipt and pay using the handheld computer thing. Because I am now a slow reader. It takes time for me to locate and properly identify letters and numbers, especially on a white screen. I want to be sure I get it right, especially when I’m authorizing someone to remove money from my bank account.

My visual impairment is both a loss of field of vision and an atypical color blindness, so I can’t really decipher things unless they are bright and highly contrasting colors. I read an article earlier this week that the color blindness is actually a common symptom that comes along with optic neuritis, which is what I have. Optic neuritis is very common with M.S., but it usually resolves after a short time period. In my case, it never did. It showed up in September of 2013 and took up permanent residence in my life. An unwelcome guest that I continually work to make peace with. Being so visually impaired really tries my patience most days, but this morning I was able to laugh at myself. It’s exhausting and utterly ridiculous and sometimes laughing at myself is all I can do. It happens a lot, to be honest. So I’m going to try to remember and share more of the stories here when they happen and hopefully, we can laugh together.